Saturday, February 12, 2011

All shall be well...

All shall be well.
And, all shall be well.
All matter of thing shall be well.
~ Julian of Norwich, 14th century Anchoress and Mystic

So, what do I have in common with a 14th century Benedictine nun, who was, by her own choice, walled up (read as: no door to the outside, and most definitely, no bathroom) inside a medieval church? Like Julian, I have felt trapped by my ill health. Also, like Julian, I have been given a window, in the form of my wonderful family and friends, with which to connect with the outside world. Finally, like Julian, I felt a profound sense of belief that all would be well, regardless of the circumstances of my cancer. Despite having had dark days (which I'm willing to bet would strike even the most optimistic of souls), I knew that I'd find the path again...despite a lack of light for illumination.

I just had my final check up today...and all is well. Am I completely healed? No, I'm not. I still have a heck of a battle scar. I still have significant swelling and am dealing with Lymph Edema. My bikini days may very well be behind me. I have every six month CT scans (which will need 5 days of pretreatment, given my new allergy to contrast dye). I have every six month exams to follow those scans. But, as of today, I no longer have cancer.

I am free. I am thankful. I am blessed.