Gym Class Hero...

How many people went to school in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s ? I’m positive that other Generation X’ers (as we are known, in addition to the post-Baby Boomers) will remember Gym Class, before the days when it morphed into P.E. Some people will smile and remember fondly games of Dodge Ball and Capture the Flag. Others may even still have their Presidential Physical Fitness test awards proudly displayed. I have very different memories. I hated Gym. I created such a variety of made up illnesses, I’m sure my Gym Class teacher was convinced I was ready for hospice care by 9th grade. I didn’t like getting dirty. I couldn’t climb a rope. I was terrified of balls, both big and small. And, even if I had to stand in the batter’s box, I’m not sure if I ever actually connected bat to ball once in softball. Most of all, I was terrified of embarrassing myself. I knew I was not coordinated, and rather than continue to subject myself to further ridicule and humiliation, my friend Maryann and I decided to make our first political statement: we refused, “on personal grounds” to take the timed running test in 6th grade. We called ourselves “Conscientious Objectors”. In fact, we just stunk at running and didn’t want anyone to know. So, while the other kids were running circles around us, literally, Maryann and I slowly walked around the track, not even moving up to a jog, as the Gym teacher shook his head and berated us.

What I hadn’t learned, at this young age, was that no matter what other people said, I failed to challenge myself. I may have thought I was getting out of an obligation in a pseudo-cool way. In reality, I short changed myself. I failed to try because I was afraid of failure. In doing so, I received more than a low mark in that class: I received a low mark in my self-esteem because I let other people dictate how I felt about myself. I thought I’d be a bad runner, so I didn’t bother. I mocked it, and took the opposing view. Sometimes, challenges are our own measure of ourselves. We can choose to run away (or in my case, walk slowly away), or we can choose to face them head on. Other than Maryann, who is still a dear friend, I can’t think of another person in that 6th grade Gym class. So, I had nothing to lose by trying my best. And, yet, I let fear of failure hold me back.

Not long ago, I rented “The Bucket List” with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, two of my favorite actors. I had expected somewhat of a comedy about two men crossing off the most unbelievable feats of bravery from their ‘to do before I die’ list. In reality, this moving was much more heart warming and life affirming than I’d ever imagined. The most surprising experience the two men found, as they journeyed around the globe, looking for the next ‘big thing’, was the depth of their friendship. And, that wasn’t even on the list. This film taught me to look challenges square in the face, and even if I don’t make my goals, at least I will have tried, rather than mocked.

It never ceases to amaze me that life’s journey took me down the path to become a Yoga Instructor. How I went from Gym Class Wallflower to the teacher of a busy practice still baffles me. What I realized is that my own personal journey was not about climbing Mt. Everest, or standing on the Great Pyramids, but gaining in strength of body, mind and spirit. When another friend, Tammie, invited me to take a Yoga class with her almost 10 years ago, I went along to be a good sport. Little by little Yoga was able to strip away my own personal defense mechanisms of “I can’t” and “I won’t” to “I can” and “I will”. I believe that, because I came from a place, deep inside me, of deep reserve and a lack of self-confidence, I’ve been able to empower my own students to try asanas they didn’t believe they could do. Not long ago, I helped a student into her first headstand. Not only was I able to demonstrate with ease, but I was able to encourage and assist her in her own growth in her strength, and in her practice. It was far more gratifying to celebrate Alexandra’s success than my own. Why ? Because I not only faced my own fear, but I helped someone else do the same.

Challenges don’t have to be enormous, life changing events. For some people, it can be scarier to begin a conversation with a stranger than it is to go rock climbing. For others, even trying foods out of their ‘comfort zone’ can be problematic. Challenges don’t have mean bungee jumping or helicopter-skiing. Challenges mean facing something within ourselves that we would rather hide away. It’s much easier to scoff about not going to a party, than it is to cross that big room, look someone you don’t know in the eye and start talking. Yet, the only person we short change is ourselves. It’s okay not to cliff dive. But, what about taking on one challenge this coming year, and seeing if you meet it ? You don’t have to run in the Boston Marathon, but what about trying to jog around the block ? You don’t have to be the next Martha Stewart, but you can try to shake things up for dinners when company comes over. What about just inviting someone you don’t know well out for coffee ?

We all have our mountains to climb. They just appear in different forms to each of us. I wish each of you a wonderful journey as you create your own personal life list. It doesn't matter if we don't reach the top of our mountain. What matters is that we stopped scoffing, and started trying.


Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. ~Henry S. Haskins