onate mission to educate the world about African primates. Dr. Goodall was far more of an anthropologist than she was a zoologist. She didn't study the chimpanzees and great apes. She lived with them. She built relationships with them by sitting quietly, observing them, interacting with them in their own language. She learned to communicate 'primate', not by forcing her will upon these wild creatures, but by introducing herself into *their* world. Dr. Goodall, not only became a member of various tribes of large primates, but she also got to know each family member throughout the generations. She didn't study them or their responses in control situations in a lab. She learned what their strengths and skills were by studying them in the wild. For hundreds of years, scientists removed chimpanzees and apes from Africa, to study them in climates and conditions far removed from their lives in their homeland. While some progress was made, sadly, far too often, these animals died in captivity...not only from accurate food deprivation, but from being separated from their families. What Jane Goodall was able to show the world, by her lifetime spent learning the intricate family, and group, connections, is that the bonds these animals forge is much like a human family: there are good relationships and bad ones. There are wonderful mothers, and negligent ones. There are involved fathers, and those who would hurt their young. There are meaningful, loving interactions and there are relationships based on fear. Just like human beings, primates, in their own environment need love, attention, human touch and kindness to survive.Unfortunately, many primates have healthier relationships than some humans do with their children and with one another. My heart broke when I learned of another story...this one the antithesis of what Jane Goodall was studying: it was about a little girl who was quite literally, left to her own survival in the basement of her mother's home. Without going into too much detail, this poor child was deprived of every kind of human kindness, affection, and even basic interaction. As a result, she had the brain development of a 6 month old baby...at age 8 years old. This devastatingly heart breaking story had me sobbing for the pain of this poor child, but I was uplifting to learn that she had been adopted by a wonderful family, and was very slowly making progress in her physical and intellectual development. Interestingly, she was having to work through all the stages that babies do: she needed to learn to crawl, the be held upright, to sit in a chair unassisted, to feed herself. She needed to work through each milestone that a baby and a toddler would, and she has been able to make progress because of the deep connection she has grown with her incredible adoptive parents.
These two stories illustrate how crucial the connections we make are: to really understand who we
are as human beings, and what we are capable of achieving, we have to value the connections we have with people in our lives. From our earliest relationships, these connections form the most fundamental resource in brain connections. Multiple research has shown a strong fact: infants who have strong, loving, interactive connections with their primary caregivers are more likely to have strong, loving, interactive relationships with others in their lives. Additionally, facts have been proving that loving relationships in infants and young children have actually been proven to *stimulate and create* connective brain tissue. Therefore, children who are spoken to, made eye contact with, held, loved, involved and cherished are children who are going to have a higher activity of brain stimulation, creating new pathways that are essential in all areas of growth and development. But, does connectedness, and our need for it, diminish over time? Absolutely not. As human beings, unless we are highly introverted, we desperately need the interaction of other people. We need conversation, stimulation and cooperation. If we are missing these components of our lives, far too often, this can result in brain chemistry altering. Particularly in the elderly, we see that people who are loved, cherished and 'needed' are far more likely to continue to live active, interesting lives, than the elderly who are 'shut ins'. Our brains crave interaction with others...and meaningful conversation. Additionally, many mothers of young children, who are home raising them, and have left their work outside the home, find they can easily slip into lethargy. By participating in mother's groups, and maintaining their own interests with other new mothers (who understand their struggles), they're able to feel vital and less depressed. Every person, in every group
, in society benefits from being a valued member, who has a something to contribute to the world around her. In my Yoga classes, I'll often ask students to pair up to work on partner Yoga. Making basic asanas, such as Tree Pose, as seen in the photo to the left, into tandem poses, students gain in learning connections. It's not easy to hold a balance pose. It's even tougher when you're relying on someone else's balance. Yet, these can be some of the most popular exercises in my classes. With a partner, the yogini can stretch further than she would on her own. She is able to work into tough asanas, knowing that her partner can 'spot' her. The yogini also can feel a deep connection to helping her partner achieve her own goals. I'll always remember when two of my students, one an elderly woman in her late 70's, and her partner, a college student in her late teens, made a coffee date after class. They had just successfully assisted one another in achieving "Wheel Pose", similar to a back bend from the ground up. They were so proud, and thrilled, to have worked through their individual difficulties and to have triumphed together. And, so a purple haired college junior with a nose ring, invited her friend, a very proper British woman who always wore her pearls in class, for celebration over scones and cappuccino. In my eyes, that connection they made was far more impressive than the back bend.
Connections are crucial to us, in every stage of life. Make sure that you nourish those. Just as a baby needs to be held, rocked, crooned to and spoken with, our adult friends need interaction and attention, as well. We need to firm up those bonds and create strong ties with one another. This helps us feel more grounded in who we are, as people, and it also provides us with a wonderful network, with whom to share our joys, our sorrows and our every day events. So, find a pal...or better still...invite someone who may seem a bit lonely, out for cappuccino and scones. You may just end up finding a wonderful friend to help partner on life's journey. Just make sure you are learning to speak in their "language": you will find your connection to be much more real than imposing your own.
The greatest danger to our future is apathy in our connectedness. ~ Jane Goodall
No comments:
Post a Comment