Elton John wrote "Your Song" for his beloved....wanting to share the very essence of who he was through a gift for which he had the ability. The Taj Mahal was built by Mugal Emporer Shah Jahan in memory of his much treasured wife, Muhmaz Mahal. Painters use oils and watercolors to capture the essence of their muses. Chefs create spectacular menus to share.Unfortunately, I lack all of these gifts. I'm completely tone deaf, and listening to me sing has been known to send even the most patient of listeners running away in terror. I have only successful built a wheeling cart, by following the instructions from the kit, and even so, managed to put it together with the trays facing upside down. I'm afraid I can only draw stick figures that would embarrass a preschooler, and my cooking, shall we say, is experimental.
Yet, for my husband, Jeff's birthday, I want to do something for him that I can do without his assistance: a tribute to all he's meant to me, and all I've learned from him. I will never be William Wordsworth, Walt Whitman, George Sand or Jane Austen. I do not possess the contemporary skills of Tom Clancy or Anita Shreve. I lack the brilliance of Earnest Hemingway, Mark Twain and F. Scott Fitzgerald. However, the one gift that I have been blessed with is a bit of ability to write. I believe that I began writing books before I could actually even entrust the words to paper. I am not special in this respect, but it's the one thing I believe I can do with a bit of panache, and a lot of honesty. Therefore, I trust my keyboard to take down the thoughts of thankfulness I have for Jeff's being who he is in my life.
Jeff, grew up in a tiny New Hampshire hamlet on top of a large hill. His parents are hard working, capable and loving people. Jeff learned from them to co
ntinue to strive for improving himself, and for standing up for his own beliefs. His journey led him to the United States Military Academy at West Point, where in his own words, he received an excellent college education, as well as other stuff...like the ability to jump out of perfectly good airplanes. The New Hampshire state motto is "Live Free or Die", and I believe this essence of Yankee commitment to freedom has been at the forefront of the man Jeff would become. He is not a blind follower; far from it. Jeff learned to innovate, to create, to think laterally and to find exceptional ways to solve problems. This has made him an asset to any team, both during his military career, and since he has been a civilian. Jeff combines a MacGuyver-like
ingenuity, with the persistence of scientist and the affable social skills of a seasoned diplomat. There is very little he can't do...and if doesn't understand something, he teaches himself how to overcome his uncertainty. I admire these traits in him tremendously because I'm generally the first one to say "to heck with it"....and leave said project in a heap. I have learned, from Jeff, that sticking with any task, no matter how challenging, has it own reward. I have learned that quickest isn't always best....but that the most attention to detail can be the key.
Jeff and I are polar opposites in personality, background and interests. He has the strong skills of the three athletic sport captain he was, and I fall down stairs more easily than walk them. Jeff likes meat and potatoes. I constantly am craving curry and sushi. He's from the country and likes sports, and I'm a city girl and love Broadway. In short, if an online dating service had existed 24 years ago, we never would have met. Yet, it is these very differences that have enabled us to grow and learn together. Because we were married at 22 and 21 respectively, we went from our parents' homes to dorm rooms to our own first place. We didn't know that our mothers would no longer be providing the service of magic laundry. We had no idea that the "Pay By" date on bills was not merely a suggested time frame. We had one pot and one pan, and lived on Macaroni much of the time, since it was one of the few meals I could make without burning, scorching, undercooking or otherwise ruining. Jeff never once complained.
I realize that my very nature challenges the levels of Jeff's patience to its very core. My lack of methodical procedures drives him to the edge of insanity. And yet, he exhibits a good natured sense of humor about everything from my driving to my erratic filing method. Jeff has gone above and beyond in being a good husband and father to our two children. He has shown integrity, courage, resourcefulness and has never lost his sense of humor. Living with me is always an adventure. Jeff finds himself exploring those peaks and valleys of my dramatic personality, and just reels me back in when I'm getting too far off course. I am exceedingly thankful to have a husband with whom I've learned to be a grown up. We have made mistakes along the way (don't ask him about the Christmas tree sagas), but we have both discovered that it's better to be kind than always right. We have found that a smile and a hug can diffuse an argument after a rotten day. Most importantly, we have made the commitment that we are here, no matter what, for one another. We have been through hell and back together. We have lost family members. We have weathered illness, job uncertainties and parenting fears. We are almost empty nesters now, and while it's a little sad to think about every school day with no children in the house, we do look forward to getting to know each other all over again.
Jeff, I just want to thank you for believing in me. As you know, I'm my own worst enemy. Thank you for being my ally, my supporter, my best friend, my comic relief and my jack of all trades. You are a tremendous man, and I could not be prouder to have shared the last two decades with you. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, and hope the next 45 are just as eventful. I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment