Falling in love

" Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it."  ~ Helen Rowland I'm in the midst of falling in love. The moment I saw the photo of my beloved, having never met, I knew it was meant to be. My heart beat a little faster. My eyes misted up with tears. My soul cried out "This is the one!". It was an extraordinary experience. I knew that we were meant to be together, regardless of how difficult the path might be. I was willing to take on any difficulties so that the object of my affection and I could share as many years as possible together. It's a wonderful feeling. I feel more alive. The air smells sweeter. Food tastes more delicious. My senses are more heightened.  And, I'm utterly and completely exhausted. Why? If I'm in love, for what reason could I possibly be this tired? Because my new love is young Shiloh Shepherd dog. I first saw her picture on the Shepherd Rescue organization's rescue page. I am on every possible animal rescue list. I am generous to a fault when it comes to the welfare of animals who are in desperate need of help. My mother has rescued countless dogs over the years. We even rescued some horses in dire straights. If I could adopt every one who needed a home, I'm afraid we'd be out of a place to live. So, I've learned to be sympathetic, to work hard to help animals who are at great risk, but understanding that I can't save them all. Yet, when I saw Dakota's face, I knew she was 'the one'. It was a spiritual experience. Dakota's eyes literally told me that we were meant to be a family. After applying for adoption, and being selected, we had to figure out how best to get this Virginia native up to Maine. This ended up involving a bleary eyed trip to New Jersey and back. Getting new a dog, even a young one as Dakota, who has already had one home isn't like bringing home a  puppy, who has just left her Mama. A dog who has had a home before knows her routine, she knows her 'pack' and she knows her life where she has lived all of her life. Uprooting her, even for the best of intentions, is a tough business.  There is a commitment and determination to love someone who isn't quite sure of her new life yet. There is a balance of affection, exercise, routine and gentle discipline so that she knows her new life. It's not a path to be undertaken by someone who just thinks having a new dog would be fun. There is a lot of work to be done. And yet, it's unbelievably wonderful. I have fallen completely in love with this beautiful girl. I know that she is still getting to know me. I understand that she's spent the first year of her life with someone else. I am teaching her not to bark at new people in the house. I'm helping her to get to know our daily schedule. I'm giving her as much snuggling as I can, while still instructing her that my word is the law. I'm playing with her. I'm brushing her. I'm feeding her, letting her get on my bed, walking her, laughing at her goofy antics and generally getting to know her. Most of all, I'm letting her fall in love with me. That's as much a part of falling in love...since true love is never one sided. I'm still awfully tired. But, it's a good tired.

Adoption

Adoption is a topic that many families experience, and most of us know a friend who was, herself, adopted, or who has adopted a child. For most families, this is an enriching, wonderful and miraculous experience. My husband and I know nearly as many couples who have chosen to adopt, as we do couples with their own biological children. Many families encompass a mixture of the two. In the families we know, with both adopted and biological children, all of the children are siblings. There are no favorites. There is no gold ring or first prize for coming into a family one way or another. Adoptive families are just like biological ones. We all have our good days and our bad days with our children. We love them, and we want what’s best for them. Children of the heart come into our lives through many ways, and every adoptive mother I know has said that the pain of infertility showed her that it was meant to be…otherwise she would not have the children she does. . Regardless of the circumstances of the adoption, I believe most, if not all, families find a sense of miracle in their new children, and in their new family lives.

None of our friends have had children curious, or ask, about their biological parents to the point of searching for them. But, I do know that many children will, eventually, have a desire to know where they came from originally. I believe this is an extremely natural reaction, especially as children grow up and are in search of their own identities. However, what do you do if your searching, adult child runs into a mystery surrounding her origins ? Most adoptive parents have some vague idea of their child’s birth parents, or at the very least, the town in which the child was born. But, often, especially with international adoption, it’s frustrating and difficult to track down much more information, beyond what the families were initially given.

Because adoption has touched our lives, through our friends, so deeply, I read “The Singing Bird” by Roisin McCauely so closely. This isn’t a run of the mill, heart warming reunion story. It’s a mystery, and it’s a thriller, with the Catholic church poised center stage. The protagonist, Lena Malloy, was born in Ireland, and was adopted by American parents. In her search to truly understand who she is, and where she came from, Lena unwittingly opens a can of sinful worms, as she discovers the truth about her past. The Catholic adoption agency her family used created a smoke screen, and very little trail to follow, as Lena uncovers one sad, but unpredictable fact after another. The journey is both spine-tingling and deeply intriguing. Because I adore novels in which the twists and turns the plot takes are not predictable, this book kept me on the edge of my seat. At the same time, I grew as curious as Lena to find out the truth behind her adoption. Additionally, this novel is set in Ireland, which is one of the dream trips I hope to take someday, and each new location makes me want to add that spot to my list of “must visits”. This novel is most certainly a work of fiction, but begs questions to be asked and answered. Even if adoption hasn’t touched your life, you may find the search for truth, at the very heart of the book, to provide a compelling tale.

In Yoga, we use the term “adopt” a great deal. We speak of “adopting” poses, attitudes or mindfulness. These semantics take nothing away from the adoption of a child, or the creation of a new family. But, in a sense, we hope to embrace the same effect of ‘newness’ in the way in which we approach each practice time on the mat. In “Bird of Paradise” pose, we have to adopt a completely new sense of balance and flexibility. Ironically, these are two terms I’ve heard new adoptive mothers use as well: being able to balance their new child’s needs and being flexible to her schedule. However, in “Bird of Paradise”, our hips are opened in a completely new way, and it may be painful initially in both the knee joint and hip flexors. However, after a short time, it’s an asana that many people begin to request more frequently in my classes. In short, it shares adjectives with adoption: scary, new, opening, and finally, relaxing.

Adoption is a wonderful gift to many families. Additionally, the adoption of new practices in our lives, as well as wonderful books, can bring an awful lot of joy. Nothing is ever easy. But, with patience, persistence and a great deal of love, it’s amazing what one can accomplish.