A day off...

Sometimes, in a summer morning, having taken my accustomed bath, I sat in my sunny doorway from sunrise till noon, rapt in reverie.  ~Henry David Thoreau


When my children were younger, it often felt as if we were on a merry-go-round that was spinning much too quickly. Our days were spent rushing from one place to another. We hurried to get out the door to school, to pick up, then to soccer, to ballet, to hockey practice. We might have had Cub Scout meetings in the evening. We would be up until midnight creating a diorama for a 2nd grade project on dinosaurs while helping to make flashcards to memorize multiplication tables. Even vacations seemed to be too busy, as we hurried to visit one group in the family in one part of the country, while already planning the next trip. It became a stressful, messy blur of movement.


Every now and then, I'd declare a family holiday. No one would go to school, go to sports, we'd blow off Sunday School one weekend and we'd simply let the laundry go undone. I'd throw a blanket down in the yard, or in poor weather, in the family room. We'd watch Monty Python and make traditional English "set tea". We'd play endless games of Mother May I or "Guess Who?". We'd make forts using couch cushions and sheets. We'd make pizza for breakfast or pancakes for dinner. We would let the phone go unanswered. We'd leave the mail in the box. We'd read. We'd read. We'd read. The kids and I read all of the Narnia Chronicles in just such days. 


Obviously, we couldn't do this all of the time. We had responsibilities. We had work and lessons and life. It was all just outside our home. But, for a day here and there, we stepped outside the realm of 'have to' and into 'want to'. These were blissful, magical, dreamy lazy days. I wish we'd had more of them. Time does march on, of course. Kids grow up. It's much harder to miss AP Biology than it is to blow off one day of long division. The world becomes more stressful with every passing year. 


With the unbelievable dread of the news today, I find myself thinking of those days off wistfully. The horrible helicopter crash in Afghanistan broke my heart. The economic crisis makes me terrified of our own financial well being. My health being precarious only makes my fears more personal. I wish I could take a step back from all of it. I want to turn off the phone. I would like the television to either break, or to only broadcast shows that are lighthearted. I want to throw off bill paying, house cleaning, yard work, personal commitments and everything that causes me concern. I want to lie in the hammock and re-read children's books that are full of fancy and imagination.


I want a grown up day off.  Too often when my husband and I have extra time, we need to squeeze the most of it. While Jeff is mowing the lawn or sealing the driveway, I'm getting caught up with vacuuming, dusting and organizing. I wish I could wriggle my nose, like Samantha from "Bewitched", and all of those chores would be completed. More than that, I'd like to curl up and watch "Bewitched", "I Dream of Jeannie" and even "Gilligan's Island" and remember being 10 and having a day off from school.


I think we all deserve it. I believe most of us work far too hard every day not to have a true day off...with an interrupted block of time to do absolutely nothing. Or to do something absolutely silly. Try it. Ignore the news. Ignore the phone. Ignore the calendar. And just be. 


Just don't forget to laugh.

Bathtime Reflections...

"Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a warm bath and a glass of wine." ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas

There are few things in life that are more rejuvenating to me than a hot bath at the end of the day. The process of drawing the bath, choosing the aromatherapy scents for the evening, and just taking a moment to wind down can be incredibly therapeutic. I've learned that on days in which I'm particularly anxious or worried, a bath using Lavender, Jasmine or Rose oils can help me to fully relax, let go of the day's concerns and prepare for sleep. When I am overtired, and need a boost of energy, a bath containing Ginger, Peppermint or Lemon can leave me feeling refreshed, renewed and invigorated. During times that I have a cold or feel the aches of illness coming on, Eucalyptus, Hyssop and Basil have worked wonders. My time in the bath gives me those moments to reconnect body, mind and spirit. A warm bath can give one a sense of being reborn, and to step out of the tub with a renewed sense of purpose.

When my children were small, I remember bathtime having the same type of balancing effect on their personalities. Because I was blessed with two children barely two years apart, our home was a fairly chaotic one in the early years of their lives. They were precious playmates, building secret clubhouse forts with blankets and pillows. They were also adversaries, knocking over Lego creation masterpieces that the other sibling had built. They were the best of friends. They were the most bitter of foes. And yet, at the end of the day, no matter how angry my daughter might have been at having Barbie's pink VW Bug co-opted for a GI Joe battle, when the children got into the tub, began playing with boats and making 'potions' with bubbles and bowls, they were once again, peacefully united. I could always count on the fact that crying, hectic afternoons would morph into joyful, laughing evenings, thanks to bath time. The healing power of the warm bath became my safe haven, not only for my own use, but as a tired mother, who needed her children to find themselves refreshed.

Baths are far from a modern convenience. The healing power of warm water is universally accepted and lauded. Nearly every culture appreciated and cultivated the idea of bath time as being more than just a way to wash off the dirt. The Romans were masters of the bath. When we were in Italy, some of the most stunning examples of architecture we saw were those of the extraordinary Roman bath houses. These weren't place to pop in and out of for a quick cleaning. Rather, they were a social environment, as much as a healing one. The Romans created vast aqua duct and pipe systems to bring in fresh water, and heat it...decades before the modern, at home bathroom was ever conceived. Bath houses were places of commerce, places of connection, and places of time spent renewing oneself. There were bath houses for men, for women, for different social classes, and for different groups of people. But, all were treated to this vital, and positive, aspect of Roman life.

Is it any wonder that we, as human beings, find emerging from warm water to be an almost metaphysical experience? We emerge from the warm waters of our birth, and both history, mythology and religious traditions literally ooze warm water. The Greek goddess, Aphrodite, is said to have been born of the sea. In Judaism, a female convert must submerge in a Mikveh (a blessed, clean pool of water). For Orthodox Jews, women return to the Mikveh monthly as a symbol of cleanliness and renewal. Christians are 'born' by the water of baptism, as Jesus was baptized by John in the River Jordan. Muslims believe in the ritual cleansing with water, and that water is available at mosques before one may enter. Many Native American cultures used sweat lodges are a form of bath house, designed to purify the body from the inside out. The sweat lodge was a way to call forth visions, to remove all impure waters from the body, and was 'closed' by a dunk in a nearby river or lake.

For the majority of us, our evening ablutions have less to do with religion, and far more to do with unwinding. Our baths can help us feel refreshed after a day filled with activity. But, there is no reason to make our baths yet one more item to add to our "to do" list. By setting your intention for your bath to be a time of restoration, you can create your own personal sanctuary. In the fascinating film "What the bleep do we know?!", the writers suggest that our very words can change our realities, and our perspective. In one fascinating scene, a woman writes the words "Thank you" in the bottom of her bathtub. As she soaks, the woman is filled with a perspective of gratitude and well being. Whether or not our written or spoken words can physically change our state of mind, this exercise is an interesting object lesson. Our baths can, mentally and physically, improve our outlook, our health and, at the very least, our evening. Even if the manifestation of "thank you" is figurative, rather than literal, isn't it much nicer to focus our thoughts on gratitude for our lives, rather than the idiot who cut us off in rush hour traffic?

So, create your own reality by creating a special bath...fill it with warm water, a scent you can inhale with joy, and peaceful music. Author your own time of grace as you soak, and allow the craziness of your day to melt away. Even if you do not find yourself changed into a completely new being, perhaps just reconnecting with your calm inner being, can be change enough.

Vacation

What a wonderful word that is: Vacation. It evokes time away from routine to explore new cities, lie on breathtaking beaches, investigate new cultures or simply bring a break in routine. Vacations can give us a much needed respite from the doldrums of everyday existence. We can be someone else for a few little while, even if that someone else is simply a more relaxed version of ourselves. Or, we can try on a completely new persona: a carefree one, if we’re normally regimented or an adventurous one, if we’re normally cautious. We can slip out of our schedules and into letting the moment take us where it will. That said, if we tend to be more artistic and flexible, taking a tour in which our sightseeing is planned for us can also bring us a much needed sense of order, without having to be organized. In short: vacation is time to just restore, recharge and renew our internal batteries.

The key to a successful vacation is finding what works for you, and not trying too hard to 'work' at having fun. For me, being a natural sloth, my native environment is lying on deck chair, enjoying the fresh air, and simply allowing myself time off the hamster wheel of life. Because my state of relaxation is simply removing all stresses, I am very easy to please on my time of vacation: I simply need to take time to look inward, to rest and to feel at peace. My husband, on the other hand, is a natural explorer. He can lie by a pool with me for a day. But, his adventurous spirit gets bored easily. So, we have learned to find places that are relaxing for him, also: with mountains to climb, golf courses to conquer and interesting locales to to investigate. Restless spirits can be renewed and strengthened by seeing new places and expending energy. This doesn't mean that one hasn't relaxed. It's simply a different method of allowing one's brain to shift from technology to terrain.

Unfortunately, with the economy being in its current complex and scary state, many people are finding their vacations budgets have vanished and are investigating a new phenomenon: the "stay-cation". Using up vacation days at work doesn't mean only tackling cleaning out the basement. It can still provide you with a wonderful opportunity to explore your hometown and the neighboring region. I'm always amazed at the amount of incredible things to see and do in our hometown...and we never scratch the surface. We are so busy living our fast paced existence that we don't take the time to go hike in the state park, peruse the local museums or even pitch a tent to camp on the lawn. When we live in a community, we often have blinders on to all our towns and cities have to offer. So, why not turn off your phone (as you would on vacation out of town), have the post office hold your mail, and go exploring in your own backyard? You may find a wonderful vacation is waiting for you: at home.

As long as you commit to relaxation, whether you travel abroad, or stay put, finding ways to refresh and renew yourself can be endless. It can be extremely difficult, in our 'always plugged in' culture to let go. We can feel guilty, undeserving, or just afraid we'll miss a vital moment. But, the truth is, we all need to take to explore, to see new sights and to experience a break in routine. Let go of the guilt, of the yearning to check your email one more time, and of your need to control every moment. Just allow yourself the freedom to 'be'. You will find yourself more conscious in your decision making when you come back, and you will also appreciate your home even more.

Whether you head to a spa, a ski resort, or the big city, make sure that you don't just stop in at the same chain restaurants you would at home. Allow yourself the experience of soaking in local flavors, literally. During your staycation, why not try new recipes that will evoke thoughts of time in Mexico or Paris? You never know what will happen when you allow your taste buds to explore on vacation too. Most of all: relax. You deserve it.

Every man who possibly can should force himself to a holiday of a full month in a year, whether he feels like taking it or not. ~ William Joyce

Exhaustion: a cultural phenomenon

In this uber-intensive age of multi-tasking, our bodies and minds are being asked to become more productive, more animated and more enlightened with every moment. We are pushing ourselves to create, to think laterally and to expand upon our abilities and talents. We are learning new technologies every day to help us more productively use our time. We are also learning new ways to waste time, using these very same technologies. We are scheduled, we are regimented and we are using every possible moment to our best advantage. Even our cars are places of 'work' now....we can use Blackberries to remain in touch with those who need information even on our drives. We have learned that we can, and must, balance relationships, parenting, career and self-improvement.

And, yet, are we happier? Are we wiser, more in tune with our authentic selves and our environment? We are closer to those we care about emotionally, simply because we can always reach them by computer or cell? Lastly, are we better off in this state of constant, frenzied productivity? Unfortunately, I believe many of us are on overload. Just as an overloaded boat will begin to sink into the water, so will an overloaded mind and body. Marshall MacLuhan wrote, "One of the effects of living with electric information is that we live habitually in a state of information overload. There's always more than you can cope with." So, what happens to us when we hit this overload or information, work, and trying to meet the needs of those around us? The answer is exhaustion.

Our bodies are a good indication of our minds. With too much information flying around our brains, our bodies can be a reflection of the strained minds many of us feel. This can be felt by an utter sense of tiredness.We can find ourselves barely keeping our eyes open at work or school. Young people are not immune to this psychological exhuastion. They are being asked to produce more, take in more stimulation and sensory overload than in any other time in history. Young and old alike are finding suppressed immune systems (leading to poor health), physical weariness and less ability to concentrate on our many tasks at hand.

The answer to this intense level of fatigue, both physical and mental, is rest. In our 'go, go, go!' culture, this isn't a simple feat. It's challenging to disentangle ourselves from our technology. It's tough to ignore voice mail, requests for our time and email. We are completely immersed in our frantic level of busy-ness, and yet, the urge to 'just check email one more time' before resting can be powerful. As tired as we are, we find ourselves addicted to the level of energy we have expended. We know we need to rest, to take time away from our vigorous lives, and yet we find ourselves compulsively drawn back to the very source of our exhaustion.

Initially, "letting go" feels like "work". We find ourselves working very hard at relaxing. This is truly a contradiction in terms, and yet, as we fight any addiction, this process can be a 'one step forward, two steps back' scenario, in the beginning of our journey to take charge of our exhaustion. Even if it means hiding your cell phone, locking up your laptop or placing the keys to the car in the freezer, it's crucial that we take the steps necessary to give our minds, bodies and spirits the chance to recharge. Just as the batteries in those very laptops must be recharged in order to operate at full capacity, so must our minds and bodies.

For some people, taking a restorative Yoga class can be a wonderful method of 'learning to relax'. Because a class is a task that can be put on our schedules, it's a good beginning for those of us who have a challenging time creating a relaxing atmosphere at home. For the 60 minutes per class, all electronic devices must be left outside the door, and with them, the mental connections to all that is pulling us away from truly letting go of the sources of our stress. During a restorative Yoga class, many instructors, myself included, will ask our students to practice inversions, such as Legs Up the Wall pose. Supported inversions have been proven to quickly reduce stress and fatigue, can assist in combatting stress induced insomnia, and can stimulate one's immune system for better health. A wise yoga instructor of mine once told our class that we spend an average of 16 hours per day in an upright position. By practicing relaxed inversions, we reverse the blood flow in our circulatory systems and can help to extend our wellness, and our very lives, by allowing our bodies the opportunities to flip that process around....quite literally. When we are overtired, we can't sleep well, and we have a difficult time turning off our thoughts. By practicing supported inversions regularly, we may find that we are more equipped with the tools we need to restore our bodies to the balance they need.

Whatever your preferred relaxation method may be, I encourage you to find time every day to allow yourself to be restored. Just as we need to reboot a computer, we need to reboot our minds, bodies and spirits. Rest is not laziness. Rest is a critical part of our bodies' methods for healing ourselves. No matter how productive you may be, by creating true, honest and deep relaxation, we will be better equipped to handle all unexpected circumstances that life can toss us. Our critical thinking skills will improve, our attitude will be more positive and our bodies will be healthier.

So, unplug the phone, turn off your cell, hide your keys and log off from your computer. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, allow your mind to focus on absolutely nothing but your breath. Your entire self will thank you for it, as will your coworkers and your family. Being restored is far more likely to endear you to all you know than being exhausted will.