Year of Wonders

Is it possible to remain in a spirit of affirmation and appreciation in the midst of unspeakable loss? Having just finished Geraldine Brooks' wonderful novel, "Year of Wonders", I was awestruck at how the author managed to convey a sense of beauty, purpose and meaning about a novel about the plague in 17th century England. In this extraordinary debut fiction work by an experienced journalist, I had expected a sad, but interesting novel. Yet, what I discovered during my year long journey with Anna, the protagonist, was not just the shock and horror. Ms. Brooks was able to create a character so resilient that Anna continues to grow, thrive, seek further knowledge and continue in her desire to help others. Based on a real life case of plague in the village of Eyam, Derbyshire, the author takes the actual events, and weaves them into a story of both inspiration and fear, growth and regression, life and death. The village's story, marked by a simple stone indicator in the present day, shows the heroic efforts of the people in trying to hold the spread of the Plague to their very town. These residents did not leave, with the exception of the wealthiest land holder. They requested supplies from neighboring villages, and asked that these be left outside the town markers. Instead of nailing individual families inside their homes, to die alone and in fear, the entire village chose to remain in sanctuary, tending to their own, living and dying together, as a village. It has been noted that the efforts of Eyam were both remarkable and unusual, as Plague was spread often by people fleeing...and bringing the contagion with them.

The village of Eyam chose to sacrifice themselves so that others may live. When the townspeople receive news that the disease had spread to no other village in their shire, they were convicted that they had taken the correct course of action. This was not without a great deal of disagreement. Their minister, Michael Monpellion, preaches of Jesus' words "That there is no greater love than this: that a man should lay down his life for his friends." Reverend Monpellion asks the villagers to take this piece of the gospel quite literally, as the town lost more than 2/3 of their population. There were insurrections, rebellion, grave digger's wanting to rob victims and those who preyed upon false superstition. But, in the end, the village was victorious. They buried far more people than remained alive. They did this not even knowing, as we do today, the way in which Plague is transmitted: from fleas in over 90% of the cases. Without even being aware of this knowledge, the residents of Eyam knew that contagion grew worse if people left. And so, they created boundaries and lived, or died, within them. Despite this novel being a work of fiction, the character development is so brilliant that I feel as if I've met the real people who lived, worked, tended, died and survived in this real life village.

Interestingly, the Pandemic of the Spanish Flu (from 1918 to 1920) not only killed more people than World War I combat, that was also claiming lives concurrently, but than the Plague had centuries earlier. In Thomas Mullen's novel, "The Last Town on Earth", I read a very different story than that of "The Year of Miracles". Mullen's novel focuses on Pacific Northwest towns cutting themselves off from the rest of civilization: but to protect others...only to protect themselves from the outside world. Interestingly, like Geraldine Brooks' novel, the country was at war (her novel takes place during the civil War in England) and yet, war is only in the background of both books."The Last Town on Earth" takes the opposite approach in stemming any tide of illness: they post armed guards at the entrances to their village of Commonwealth, Washington. When an injured, starving stranger appears at the gates, this town has three choices: to allow this man to die outside their parameters of exposure or infirmities, to shoot him themselves to prevent him from gaining access, or to allow him inside and render aid. While I read this novel more than two years ago, I found memories of it working their way to the uppermost part of my consciousness as the story of another quarantined town made itself known.

The question remains: is this the same story? Why, or why not? While I do find these two excellent novels, based on actual historical events, to contain many parallels, I do not believe it's the same premise. While both the Black Death and the Spanish Influenza brought with them widespread hysteria and unthinkable masses of dead, the reaction in Brooks' novel is one of self-sacrificial hope. The message in Mullen's novel is that of insular, fear driven selfishness. There are both "good" and "bad" characters in both novels, and each have their share of moments struggling with terror overriding rational decision making. However, whereas one novel chooses to keep their own illness to themselves, to prevent spreading it to neighboring towns (where family and friends might reside), the other chooses to ignore their neighbors' (and the rest of the world's) cry for assistance. "The Year of Miracles" continually speaks of faith. "The Last Town on Earth" speaks of prejudice. When taken together, it's a terrifying picture of real pandemics, and how they have effected civilization, socially, ethically and practically. In this age of Bird Flu, H1N1 virus, and other virulent forms of illness, these novels present a serious look at what has happened in the past.

Where would I have stood on this issue? It's always impossible to gauge unless one has been faced with the reality of a situation. That being said, my hope is that I would take a stand for honor, wherever that lies. There is very little honor in refusing aid to others, even if it means putting yourself at risk. Having been hospitalized in intensive care, exactly 2 years ago, I do not know how I would have survived had I not been treated by a brave, fabulous team headed up by an Infectious Disease specialist and pulmonologist, as well as countless wonderful nurses. Did they turn and run away from me? They did not. They solved my mystery, they were able to treat me, and while it was not an easy road to recovery, I was blessed to have medical attention for a dreadful, unexpected infection. What if I'd been tossed out the hospital door and said, "Sorry. You're out of luck. We don't want you infecting anyone"? I have been treated with dignity, with conviction and with bravery. I believe I'd be a sorry survivor to maintain the lifeboat theory from here on out: "I'm fine here. You're on your own." Therefore, I believe it is my duty to help out wherever I can, in whatever way is necessary. I may not be able to cure a disease, but I can bring comfort to those who need respite.

One of the lines I find most life affirming in Geraldine Brooks' novel is the true naming of the Plague year of 1666: Annis mirabalis: the Year of Wonders. John Druyden, an exceptional poet of the day, was living and writing at the time. Many religious leaders had predicted that 1666 would be the 'year of the beast', based on the 666 from the Book of Revelation. They weren't far off the mark: London's Great Fire, the English Navy's total defeat in battle at Sea, the Plague and other unfathomable disasters. Yet, Druyden chose to interpret the time as "The Year of Miracles" in his poem of the same name. It was his decision to choose to see the events as blessings, rather than curses, as so many people did. Druyden decided to view the events as facts and occurrences, rather than the end of the world. I admire his resolve, during this very difficult time. I would rather stand with the the John Druydens, the Isaac Newtons and the characters like Anna, in this world, than lock myself away in fear and exclusivity.

What would you do?

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. ~ John Druyden

Beyond Our Abilities

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. ~Harry Truman

There are times it's especially easy to be an optimist. It's as if the entire order of the universe just seems to flow directly into our train of needs and thoughts. We pull into a crowded parking lot, and a space appears before us. We find out that the bank made an accounting error: in our favor. We didn't have time to study for an exam, and yet the material on the test is the information we knew well. We investigate a vacation, and find the hotel of our dreams is within our budget. We run into an old friend within moments of thinking of her. We find out we're having a much wanted baby, or that our child has been accepted into the school of her choice, with an academic scholarship. It rains for a week before our wedding, and then clears up to be the most beautiful day of the year. There can be large strokes of luck....such as falling in love with the person of our dreams. There can be small ones, like finding just what you wanted on sale. These are the days in which it's very easy to say "Life is wonderful! I'm incredible blessed!". When life gives us unexpected, unanticipated or much desired results, we praise the highest heavens at our good fortune. We feel as if we're destined for all good things to come and that nothing can ever, or will ever, change these circumstances of bounty. Optimism at these times is a simple process: we expect good to come, as it has already done so.


Yet, all of us, at one time or another, have experience the depths of despair. We are passed over for a position we wanted very much. We find ourselves in financial hardship. We learn of a close friend's betrayal. We are diagnosed with life threatening, mysterious illness. We lose a much wanted baby. We watch a parent succumb to death. We find that even daily life become difficult. All the household appliances seem to break down at once. The furnace fails on the coldest day of winter. Our car slides off the road in icy conditions. Our children's hearts are broken, and there is nothing we can do about it. It's during these times that we wonder if we are cursed, rather than blessed. We feel as if we're blighted. It's during these times that it's very difficult to remember our benefits. We are so caught up in the wretched feeling of "What can possibly go wrong next?" that we fail to see the small boons that do come our way. It feels as if the universe is, in short, out of get us.


Friends, I have been through every single one of these experiences. I've enjoyed the joys of magnificent blessing. I've felt the sting of fear and heartache more times than I'd like to count. There are days I want to pinch myself that my life is real, that good things are always to come. There are other times in which I wonder why on earth I'm being tested to the point of breaking my spirit. Life is often like a roller coaster: there are exceptional highs in which I've felt on top of the world, and lows so terrifying, I wasn't sure I'd make it back up again. Still, when time marches forward, I learn my lessons, I get out of my own disappointed thoughts, and I do my best to to remain content along any of life's paths. I've often admired the words of St. Paul from the 4th chapter of Philippians, "for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. " I have not yet achieved his enlightened perspective on this subject. But, I'm working on it....every day is a new step towards optimism in all circumstances.


The most challenging aspect of this is, of course, that most of these challenges are beyond our control. We have no way to prevent horrible things from happening. We can be careful, we can be mindful and we can think out all ramifications. And yet, disaster can strike us at any time. That being said, we can choose to live two ways, according to Albert Einstein...."You can choose to live as nothing is a miracle, or, you can choose to live as if everything is a miracle." Just as we do not choose to pick our hardships, we also do not choose our miracles. They choose us. When difficult times arise, we can begin to look back and wonder "What can I gain from this situation?". I have found that, in my darkest hours, it's nearly impossible to see the sun. But, when the day dawns again, I begin to notice the preciousness of life, the fragility of love, the dearness of those precious to me and the blessings in every day comforts. We can take for granted all the wonderful, everyday occurrences far too easily. When life is bleak, however, we can look at the magnificence of the trees in Autumn, we can hear the laughter of a toddler and we can smell the aroma of freshly baked banana bread. These, too, can be counted as miracles.

In my yoga classes, I always try to include one especially challenging pose. Many of my students balk and and tell me that they just "can't" even attempt to try it. They are understandably afraid: a headstand, or other physically demanding asana, can be just as terrifying emotionally. Their fears keep them from even wanting to explore this pose against the wall for support. I have been told valid reasons for not wanting to try: neck injuries, light headedness, spinal pain. Still, for those who want to try to work beyond their uncertainty, the empowerment achieved is amazing. I have one elderly student who expressed great reasons for trepidation in her lack of zeal to do headstand. I explained that she certainly did not *need* to do this pose, and I offered her a much gentler alternative. Yet, when she saw the grins of a few others in the class, just TRYING, she asked if I could help her. Using blocks, blankets, and other yoga props, I aided her in achieving a supported version of headstand. "Elsa" was overwhelmed with joy. On her way out of class, she hugged me and said, "I didn't believe I could do it, but you believed I could. Thank you for believing in me."

Sometimes, in life, what we need is not a winning lottery ticket or sun on a rainy day. What we need is someone else to believe in us. We need another human being to say "I know it's hard and I am here for you, but I have faith you can do it!". That is the best gift we can share with another: the gift of optimism, on their behalf, when something is out of their control. It's my hope that we can find methods to achieve this for ourselves, also.

New Beginnings

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives. ~Clay P. Bedford


There is something about the first day of school that feels like a holiday! The new backpacks, new lunchboxes, new notebooks, new back to school outfit, and new teachers in a new grade are all cause for anticipation and celebration. The excitement of being a year older, a year wiser and a year more prepared, mix in with the feelings of the sense of freshness to the school year ahead. There is an essence of anything being possible, when you start a new school year. I remember coming back to school, after summers away, and seeing how my classmates had reinvented their styles over the summer, or had grown a foot in height or had become far more (or less) serious about their schoolwork. I also recall being the new kid at school, far too many times, and having butterlies in my stomach the size of pterodactyls, wondering if I'd be accepted by the 'ruling establishment'. With that sense of excited expectation also comes that sense of dreaded horrors that just might lie in wait; a bitter teacher, a vicious clique or a principal hell bent on 'sending a message'. There is the wonder of a new school year, but there is also the fear of the unknown dangers, both academic and social, that lie ahead.


I have been both fortunate, and deeply unfortunate, in my teachers over the years. I have had those teachers who inspired me to be the woman I was destined to become. These men and women encouraged me in my strengths, and helped me to shore up my weaknesses. Unfortunately, I also had those who ruled their classrooms like Himler ruled the SS. These teachers accused students of being unprepared, insisted on catching us off guard and wanted to entrap us with adding material on tests not included in class or regular readings. They did, however, inform their "favorite" students of these surprise elements. These teachers inspired a lack of trust amongst the children in the classroom, as well as damaging a great deal of my self-esteem that took years to overcome. The fascinating point to me, now, is how dramatically the despicable teachers affected me, and seemed to have longer lasting effects than the good teachers did. Even during my yoga teacher training, I had a bizarre mixture of beautifully giving, methodical, intentional instructors and nasty, self-absorbed ones. It amazed me that anyone teaching yoga would be not only hurtfully critical, but downright mean. Why is that? Why do we still bear the scars of poor teaching more than we appreciate the inspiration of good teaching?



Having been on both sides of this issue, as a classroom teacher, a Director of Education, and now a yoga instructor, I can fully understand the demands placed on teachers, as well as the uncertainties faced by students. One of the wonderful aspects to working in yoga is the concept of being a lifelong learner. The classes I teach each week are not my only classes. I also take class, as a student, at least once a week, from a master teacher. I see my job as a teacher as that of individual facilitator. I do have lessons to teach that I have prepared for the entire class. But, I also see that I need to learn from my students; I need to learn what their needs are, how I can best assist them and how I can become a better teacher for their understanding. As a student myself, I appreciate that I do not "know it all". No matter how long I have been studying, there are always new ideas, new steps, and even new beginnings. My job, as a student, is to listen, to ask questions, to try and to keep coming back for more instruction. Teaching and learning are not as different as many people believe. The best teachers are those who continue to strive for inspiration in their own lives, and that the best students are those who are willing to ask questions to help their own learning process.

As my own children begin their senior and sophomore years in high school, it's my goal to be their advocate in the learning process. They are now old enough to be empowered in their educational experience, and yet, there are times they may both need a cheerleader, an interceder or an impartial view on a subject. I hope to instill in them a desire to learn...and a method of achieving that, even from teachers with whom they may not connect. I want to teach them the balance between school work and real life educations. I also want to show them that, even at my vast age, I never stop engaging in the learning process. The first day of school can be a tremendous boost to overcoming bad habits or to help begin positive traits. As for our family, it's my hope that each one of us can keep that first day excitement alive until June.

I just wish they would let me dress them in matching outfits to take their picture. Some life experiences are just outgrown.

Losing my voice

From Webster's Dictionary: Definition of voice: an expressed wish, choice, opinion or verbal utterance.

Have you ever had one of those mornings in which you wake up, just knowing that Murphy's law will prevail? In addition to a series of unfortunate mishaps, complications and life frustrations, I discovered that I had lost my voice completely, thanks to a rougher than average allergy season. The sounds I can make sound vaguely like squirrels quarreling in a nearby tree. Either that or my squeaks resemble a person repeatedly stepping on a mouse. My rodent verbal qualities have led my dogs to turn their heads sideways to try to understand my commands. This experience has made me wish I had taught the dogs hand signals. "Sit" and "stay" simply do not carry the same power when my Donald Duck voice is giving the order. Above all, losing my voice just hurts. My throat is very painful, and I have been living on hot tea, Chicken Soup and Chloroseptic spray. Unfortunately, none of these remedies have made it easier for me to communicate with my family and friends, as well as my pets. I have been gesturing passionately (and only understood about half the time) and using a big, yellow legal pad to write out my comments.


The sad fact is: I'm a talker. I can speak until I'm almost asleep, and as my husband can attest, I can even continue to talk once my eyes are closed if I'm really motivated on a subject. Being able to express myself has never been an issue for me. Learning to know when to keep quiet has been a much more difficult skill for me to master. Tact, listening and mindfulness are all part of my journey in becoming a true 'adult'. My father used to tease me that I couldn't eat without talking. We had experiments night after night in which I had to try to learn to keep peacefully quiet. I failed miserably.


That being said, not being able to speak has proven to be quiet different than having a self-regulated time of not communicating. I have had to learn what it is truly important. Since none of us know Sign Language in my family, I've had to save my painful squeaks for truly urgent comments, and other than that, I've had to decide if what I want to say is really worth writing down....or playing Charades...to get my message across. I've discovered that most of my chit-chat is ridiculously meaningless, and if I can hold on to my thought a little longer, I may not need to use half a sheet of lined paper to express every sentiment that enters my train of thought. While I can't say that this has been a "Road to Emmaus" experience, I am learning that most of what I say doesn't need to be said. It's a sad and harsh realization, but it's certainly been eye opening for me.


Not having a voice has also given me more time to contemplate communication. Since I can't communicate directly, losing my voice has proven an invaluable metaphor for what I know happens to millions of women around the world every day. Many women do not have the same kinds of freedoms that we have here in the western world. They are silenced and beaten into submission. Their voices, even ones that can speak articulately and from a well educated perspective, aren't valued. The poorer women simply face death on a daily basis by not having a voice that is heard at all. Their thoughts, their feelings, their very lives are considered valueless. One of my favorite authors, Khaled Hosseini, was greatly celebrated for his book, "The Kite Runner", which was later made into an extraordinary, award winning movie. But, his second book, "The Thousand Splendid Sons" relates the plight of interrelated women, and the struggles they share. They unite to find a common voice, but being heard doesn't come without grave consequences. This vitally relevant fictional story, of life under Taliban rule in Afghanistan, taught me to never lose sight of the valuable gift in having a voice that can be heard...even for things that are inconsequential. A woman not having a voice is a dreadful thing for society. The U.N. has issued study after study about nations living in poverty. The studies find that, where women are educated and heard, society prospers. The converse is also true.


Fairy tales, like Hans Christian Anderson's "The Little Mermaid, relate stories about women freely giving up their "voice". In Anderson's tale, Arielle literally gives away her power of speech to try to capture 'the handsome prince'. Yet, fairy tales are rife with women releasing their inner power, their gifts and their strengths in order to gain favor with the men whose attention they hope to capture. I don't believe that fairy tales are bad for children. They do help stimulate creative thought and imagination writing. However, I also believe it's vitally important that we equip our children, boys and girls, with the understanding of respecting the voices of all...men and women, rich and poor, from all corners of the globe. We must instruct them and encourage them to never allow their own voices to be given away to someone else. We must all remember that our opinions, our nature, our beliefs and our ideals are what make each of us unique and valued.

While I have not enjoyed my experience with the loss of my physical voice, I do appreciate the opportunity it has given me to be silent and reflect upon the voices of others. I'm only sorry that it has taken my own yammering to cease to 'hear' them.

Dolphins

For as long as I can remember, I have been crazy in love with Dolphins. Every breed, from the unusual pink Amazon River Dolphin to the majestic Orca (wrongly referred to as Killer Whales, though actually not of the whale family) have captured both my imagination and my heart. Each time I've seen a show at Marine World, or been fortunate to experience dolphins at aquariums, I find myself moved to tears. Their interaction, their level of trust, their utter joy at simply being alive and well cuts to the heart of what being on this Earth means to me. I have held fast to a long standing dream to swim with dolphins one day....and it's a dream that I hope comes true eventually.


I am not alone in my passionate attachment to these extraordinary marine mammals. When asked what a person's favorite animal is, dolphin always ranks among the Top Ten, regardless of most cultures. Dolphins cut across country lines, they unite disagreeing factions and they remain a symbol of intelligence throughout different groups of people. Dolphins have been studied extensively, and are among the most highly rated by academics, zoologists and marine biologists for their creative and lateral thinking skills. The only animals that come close to dolphins' problem solving nature are chimpanzees and great apes, but there is much debate as to whether or not dolphins rank higher on the intellectual scale. In my own mind, there is room enough for all wonderful creatures.....and to learn the lessons meant to enlighten us from each of them.



Many Ancient cultures revered dolphins, but none valued them as much as the Ancient Minaoans, followed by the Greeks and then Ancient Romans. While the Romans, when borrowing much of their own culture from the Greeks, appropriated dolphins as "respected beings", they added their own spin on the many mythic tales regarding dolphins. The stories are legendary; many involve dolphins as humans, turned into sea creatures by the gods. Others see dolphins as the special, helpful ambassadors from Poseidon (or Neptune, in Roman lore). It's easy to make this connection as countless tales, in recorded history, have given us examples of dolphins aiding swimmers who were drowning, or sailors who have fallen overboard. It's a simple enough step to imagine the sea god, aiding humans by sending his favored servants to assist. Dolphins appear in the myths of Dionysis and the poet Arion, and were considered sacred to the Goddess Aphrodite. Like a dolphin, Aphrodite herself was born of the sea. So popular were they, that many coins and official seals held the image of a dolphin. But, the Mediterranean was not the only example of dolphin worship and appreciation: in the Ganges River, the Hindu believe the dolphin to be the river deity who will announce the arrival of the Goddess, and who will also act as her mount. In the Amazon River, the dolphins are called "Enchandados"...shape shifters who can alter their form between human and river dweller. They are respected, admired and revered. Sadly, despite all this appreciation, the only real threat to dolphins are humans.




As dolphins figure prominently in so many cultures, it isn't surprising that Dolphin Pose exists in Yoga, which began in India, but has taken influence from many other locations. Dolphin pose resembles downward facing dog, the 'workhorse' of all yoga asanas. However, Dolphin requires even more flexibility and upper body strength, just as a real dolphin would. While reaching one's head to the floor, and supporting one's upper body weight on the forearms, the yogini is also reaching her tailbone for the ceiling and her heels for the floor. It's a pose that takes a great deal of practice and concentration. Yet, when done correctly, this asana is a great deal of fun. It's an inversion, allowing the body to reverse blood flow. Dolphin pose is also a tremendous opener, of both body and mind. I have discovered that terrific ideas come to my mind when I'm in Dolphin pose. I've also found that problems I've set aside during my yoga practice find answers just 'come to me' while in this pose. Much like the creative thinking dolphin, the pose itself requires an open mind, and a playful spirit, and the benefits are exceptional.




There are many lessons we can take away from the dolphins: we can learn that intelligence takes time out to play. We can learn that motherhood involves a great deal of affectionate touching. We can learn that we can come up with answers to an immediate problem can come to us 'on the fly'. We can learn that singing (or vocalizing) can be done just for the joy of it, as well as for communication. Finally, we can learn that, no matter how advanced we may be, we will always be at the mercy of someone stronger. It's my hope that we can learn the proper lessons from these extraordinary creatures...but not at their expense.

All Through the Night

Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee, All through the night. Guardian angels, God will send thee, All through the night. Soft the drowsy hours are creeping; Hill and dale in slumber sleeping. I my loving vigil keeping, All through the night. The English Hymnal #268

The the song above is such a common lullaby that many people forget that it is a hymn, appearing in more than 16 different denominational hymnals. Peter, Paul & Mary recorded a version, as did Cyndy Lauper, Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, Cole Porter and countless other musicians. The Irish church claims it as an Irish song. The Welsh have attributed it to traditional Welsh folk tunes, and it's been recorded, many times, sung in Welsh. The oldest printed lyrics I could find include "All Through the Night" in an English hymnal. Regardless of this song's origins, it has a beautiful, haunting, magical melody and reassuring lyrics. I used to sing it (not nearly as beautifully as the professionals) to my children when they were babies. I still hum it to myself when I need a few moments to clear my head at the end of a very busy day. I'm certain that passing strangers have thought me a madwoman humming it softly, when I'm on an airplane. But, it's comforting, it's peaceful and it's familiar. It takes me back to days of having a newborn curled up into my side, and to simpler moments in the journey of parenthood.

In an age in which sleep disorders are at an all time high, is it any wonder that I'm attracted to a lullaby? In any coffee shop, at any meeting or at any parents' group gathering, the most common topic is how exhausted everyone is. It appears that no one I know sleeps well, myself included. Sleep disorder clinics are on the rise, and many have waiting lists. Prescriptions for sleep aid drugs, such as Ambien, are 5 times what they were just ten years ago. The Center for Disease Control, as well as numerous Health Service agencies, recommend that adults get between 7 and 9 hours of sleep per night. The AMA set forth these reasons why adults need an average of 8 hours of sleep per night: good sleep may reduce your risk of depression, of diseases, of maintaining a healthy weight (and blood pressure), of bolstering memory, of increased synaptic activity during the day, may help prevent cancer and may assist in your body's repairing of injuries. These are perfectly understandable and straight forward benefits...And yet, if we can't fall asleep, or remain sleeping 'all through the night', how can we reap the benefits of good sleep habits?

For many of us, there is an inability to shut off our brains when it's night time. The majority of us walk around overstimulated most of the day. We have to-do lists that exceed our ability, we are bombarded by media (from radio to television to the Internet) all day long and we feel constantly behind if we aren't being 'productive' at every waking moment. We have worries that range from small issues (such as a child's nasty teacher) to larger ones (such as the current financial crisis). We are deeply concerned about politics, the environment, war, famine, disease, plane crashes and a plethora of other globally impacting issues that are beyond our control. Is it any wonder that our bodies are exhausted but our minds are still reeling from the ramifications of the day's events....either to our own lives, or to the world at large? As a result, we drink an awful lot of coffee to perk us in the morning, only to find we need that caffeine the rest of the day. The caffeine in our systems is another reason we may have a difficult time 'switching off' at night. Just as there are health benefits to 'good sleeping', there are negative ones to lack of sleep: inability to focus and concentrate, loss of memory ability, loss of job performance, poor health and increased risks for nearly every health complication. If worrying about aspects of our lives is enough to keep us awake, it's amazing how many of us lie in bed at night, worried about our not being able to fall asleep!

There are many schools of thought on achieving a good night's sleep that lasts "all through the night". Some doctors do recommend drugs, used in the short term, to help 'jump start' one's body into sleeping well. My own experience, while I was a cancer patient, was so negative with these drugs, that I have a hard time understanding the benefits. I found an increase in the ability to fall asleep, but was beset by nightmares. Therefore, I have a difficult time recommending them to others. There are also homeopathic versions of sleep aids that some people have found to be incredibly helpful. I found them to be less harsh on my overactive psyche, but they were also less effective in helping me fall asleep. This journey led me to find other methods in sleep enhancement.

Ruling out all chemical and/or locational disruptive sources is the first rule of thumb. I've discovered that not having any caffeine (including chocolate) after lunch can make a huge difference. I've also learned which foods simply do not allow me to rest easily. As much as I crave spicy food all day, when my eyes are wide awake, staring at the dog snoring at 2 AM, I realize that the Kung Pao Chicken was not my best choice for a late snack. Another culprit can be all the lights we all have on in our rooms. My bedroom is equal parts sleeping space, office and family room. Therefore, we have a great deal of electronic equipment in our room. From the TV to the DVD player to the computer (and all its components) to the Wii and multiple phones, our room is a veritable fortress of technology. All of these gizmo's emit wave frequencies that can actually be stimulating. I make certain, at this point, to have everything as turned off as possible, since it's simply not within my space limitations to remove it all from my room (though that's what's recommended by most sleep specialists). Establishing a routine can also be helpful: a cup of a herbal tea, a book, the same music each evening and a warm bath, can all set the mood for a good night's sleep...particularly when done every night.


Finally, one of the ways I have learned to turn off my hamster wheel, chihuahua yapping brain is to count my blessings. Unlike the old method of counting sheep (which I've done to infinity without effect), counting our blessings, no matter how slight or small, can be a way to counteract the effects of an anxious mind. By reminding ourselves of all the good things in our lives, of the good fortune in our days, of the way we were able to aid others and of the largesse that came our way, we can remember why we have earned our rest. I don't just express my gratitude for a financial or professional boon. I just try to express my thankfulness at being alive and well for one more day. I am grateful that I did not have a car accident and that my children are remaning safe in their travels. I'm able to be happy that the sun did shine, or that a beautiful snow fell. I'm appreciative to have eyes that can see, ears that can hear and hands that can be put to good use. No matter how irrational my fears, I can content myself with the knowledge that, at this very moment, I am safe, I am well and I am protected. I find that, as I can express in my heart, each of the blessings that have come my way, my eyelids begin to droop...and I gently begin to fall asleep. The main idea is just let the blessings come to my mind; rather than creating yet another 'list' to be mentally gone over.

I wish each of you a good night's sleep tonight. May you feel loved, may you feel peaceful and most of all, may you feel sleepy.

Preparedness

"It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one, than to have an opportunity and be unprepared ." ~~ Whitney Young

During the weeks leading up to Y2K (or simply the year 2000, as we know now), there was a frenzy of preparedness amongst people who were fearing the worst. People were scared that banks would no longer be able to function, that gasoline pumps would fail and supermarkets would not able to scan items for check out. There were those who were certain the change of century numbers would bring Armageddon. There were others who felt it would be a mere blip on the radar. We watched on as people boarded up their homes, had months of food stockpiled in basements and extra fuel sources on hand. And yet, as the flip of the numbers brought few complications, the experience did teach us about considering preparedness. While the year 2000 did not bring the catastrophic collapse of society, it did usher in a time of major upheavals in other ways. Hurricanes Rita and Katrina, 9/11, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and other disasters around the world. The question is: are we prepared for any eventuality?


This dilemma reminds me of my 12th grade Physics final presentation. My partner and I had chosen to do the topic of tides and tidal forces. We researched in the library at our prep school, and we had written, what we thought, was a well developed, inclusive and interesting speech. Our teacher, a thoughtful and entertaining Australian man, listened politely throughout our presentation. At the very end, he asked me, "But, Ellen, what exactly *causes* tides?". I was stumped. All of my witty remarks, all of my anecdotal quotations and all of my historical references were moot. I had no idea. My preparation was completely useless. I did not know the most basic answer to the most basic question of my project. I had the opportunity to succeed and I blew it because of my lack of thorough preparation.


Still, the question remains as to whether or not we can be fully prepared for any circumstance that comes our way. I believe that we can be so utterly focused on one area of preparation for one possibility so that we may become blindsided by yet another, just as I was in my Physics project. We may find ourselves with our vision skewed about what our goals truly need to be, where we need to focus our attention and how we work to ready ourselves for the 'coming storm'. And yet, metaphorically speaking, when a storm arrives in the form of a blizzard, rather than a tsunami, we realize that our sandbags, to hold back the rising river,will be powerless against the feet of snow falling from the sky. St. John of the Cross wrote, "I am not made or unmade by my circumstances, but by my reactions to them." In my very humble opinion, our greatest gift, and our greatest weapon, in battling the unknown forces we will encounter, is the preparedness of flexibility. So often, we construct plans that we believe are foolproof. When those fail, we are lost. If we find ourselves, then, grooming, developing and fortifying our creative, lateral thinking problem solving skills, we will be better able to adapt to changing challenges.


Does this mean we should cease all sense of organization? Of course not. We have every day obligations that require our attention and commitment. We need to pay our bills, maintain our homes and plan for the future, as best as we can. We should try to anticipate our upcoming needs and attempt to meet them. But, when life doesn't proceed as we expected, we must learn to develop the ability to modify, to adapt and to acclimate. When we are able to find that balance between anticipation and adaptability, we will find a greater sense of harmony.