Strength and Flexibility

Yoga has been taught in the East for thousands of years. Initially, the physical practice began as an outgrowth, for the body, of the work being done to strengthen the mind. As Yoga moved west, and has gained in popularity exponentially , the physical practice of Yoga has gained millions of “regular people” followers, myself included. I came to Yoga after years of step aerobics, dance aerobics, Jane Fonda aerobics, aerobics with weights, aerobics with giant bouncing balls. If there was plate twirling monkey aerobics, I probably would have tried that too ! However, Yoga taught me that not every form of exercise has to have a ‘gimmick’.

I usually teach four classes per week, and the focus of each of these programs is the balance between flexibility and strength. I encourage my students to build up their core muscles in their abdomen and backs. This will help improve their posture and their overall strength and fitness. Plus, they will, as I have, simply begin to feel healthier, with a stronger core. Additionally, I encourage strength in the upper body, which is notoriously weak for most women. Many of us have strong legs, but our upper body tends to dwindle over the years. In my own case, I have no memory of ever having a strong upper half. I remember hanging helplessly in the “Presidential Physical Fitness test” from the monkey bars in 6th grade, with a sadistic PE teacher embarrasingly shouting “You can’t even do ONE pull up ?”, as he scribbled a big red F in my little square box on his sheet. If I believed in the 9 circles of Hell, as written in Dante’s Inferno, I’d have to reserve the 8th circle (reserved for those sowers of discord and betrayers of children) for PE teachers from the 1970’s. Perhaps it’s in reaction to my own experience being mocked, but I’ve worked very diligently at helping others gain upper body strength. Lower body strength is also gained in Yoga, in bringing about balance between the two halves of our form.

One of the best known Yoga poses is “Downward Facing Dog”. In this wonderful pose, one is able to strengthen and stretch both the upper and lower parts of the body. Hamstrings, Achilles tendons and Trapezius muscles are opened up. Triceps, Biceps, Deltoids and low back muscles are strengthened. Once a student gets over her initial reaction of “Really ? You want me to shine my tush in the air ?”, she realizes the benefits of this pose.

Strength without flexibility isn’t much good for anyone, however. Think of the body builders who have huge muscles, but no range of mobility. Can they touch their toes, or reach their arms to touch clasp hands behind their backs ? Unlikely….as many focus on strength and strength alone. Flexibility is key. When your muscles are strong and flexible, you have much less risk of injury, and your overall fitness will be greater. It’s the metaphor of the Oak tree and the Willow: The Oak tree stands firm and stout, but when the wind comes, it has no flexibility and can crack in half. The Willow tree may not have as solid a core trunk, but as the wind comes, it is more adaptable to blowing along with the direction of the wind, rather than breaking.

Yoga’s roots, however, are not in the body, but of the mind. Even after all this discussion about the physical benefits of Yoga, the true and deep meaning comes to our very nature, inside our hearts and spirits. It’s of vital importance that we develop strong minds. We need to know ourselves, as well to develop our morality, our sense of values and our own innate being. We need to completely ‘fit’ in our convictions and our determination to “live out the life we have chosen” (according to Thoreau). But, strength and conviction without flexibility means that our beliefs can be broken in the “wind”. This isn’t to say that we need to allow our moral compass to be blown in any direction. People without a ‘center’ tend to flit whichever way those around them lead. Rather, flexibility implies a willingness to listen, to be accepting of other people’s opinions and to be able to work through differences into compromise. This is not a weakness. Instead, it’s using our own strength wisely, and with flexibility to appreciate diversity.

If we can cultivate both strength and flexibility in both body and mind, we’ll be much better equipped to deal with anything that comes our way. And, we’ll feel better about it too.

The Lion and The Mouse

No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted. - Aesop

Do you remember the fable of the lion and the mouse ? To paraphrase loosely, in Aesop’s tale, the mouse comes to the lion, who is roaring in great pain from the thorn in his paw, and removes the thorn. Later on, the lion saves the mouse’s life. It’s a parable for teaching us to practice “random acts of kindness” wherever we can, never knowing how, or when, these acts will catch back up to us and bless us in some way. It’s a wonderful idea to think about: a small gesture of kindness boomeranging around to create an even larger kindness to ourselves. Eastern traditions call this one arm of “karma”. Christians refer to the Bible verse from Hebrews, “Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.” This means that one must be diligent in the kindness you present to the outside world….and in doing so, you will be rewarded for your generosity, either spiritually or practically.

While these concepts are wonderful to think about, sometimes, they’re awfully hard to practice. After all, we don’t live in a fairy tale world. We have work to do, laundry to wash, dogs to walk, errands to run, bills to pay, children to ferry to activities and school, and all the messes to clean up. We are exhausted. Even going to a yoga class feels like work at times ! I had a wonderful Yoga teacher that lamented how all of his students were coming into class complaining, “Oh, I was sure I’d be late. Let’s get this over with…”, thinking of yoga as one more item to check off on the to do list. There are days when just being polite seems more than we can handle. How can we possibly cultivate kindness when we are rushed, harried, grumpy and worried ?

There is no magic that will transform us overnight from stressed out to blissful. We can pray, we can meditate, we can practice yoga or other forms of exercise than benefit our bodies and minds. We can get good sleep at night, and eat well. But, none of these things will take away our schedules. They’ll help us get a handle on how best to deal with the chaos, but they won’t transform our daily existence from neurotic soccer mom to enlightened being. I believe this is why so many people get frustrated and give up. I have had my moments of thinking, “I just can’t do this one more day. My kids are fighting all the time, I have bills I can’t pay, my husband is working long hours, one dog just threw up on the good rug and other one ate the sofa.” Not to mention that I’ve felt fat, ugly, stupid and ill equipped to deal with the realities of life.

So, what made me feel as if I could pull out that thorn ? In my very humble opinion, it’s with baby steps. I tackle one task off my list, instead of looking at the whole list. Instead of snarking at my children to quit fighting, I compliment them during the times they are kind. I tell my husband how much I value his working so hard to give us a good life. I walk the dogs and praise them for good behavior (and have the couch recovered). I address these issues inside my home first. I find that, when I am kind at home, little by little, the kindness is returned. The dogs benefit from the extra attention and are less likely to consume large pieces of furniture. The children see each other with new eyes. My husband feels honored and appreciated. I may not have pulled the thorn out of the lion’s paw, and I am quite certain I will never reach perfection, but my little acts of kindness at home seem to carry weight that does transcend our house.

Have I entertained angels unknowingly ? I don’t know…but I can hope. And, always have my best lasagne ready to go into the oven.

Exercise for body, mind, heart and spirit.

Today…..
Exercise your body: go for a walk or a run, practice Yoga, take a Cycle Fit class, go for a hike, go for a swim. Get your blood moving, and your heart pounding. Endorphins are powerful !

Exercise your mind: read an article from a viewpoint that opposes your own, learn about a topic with which you are unfamiliar, engage in debate and conversation with people who have greater knowledge, listen and process something new.

Exercise your heart: be kind to others who challenge your patience, offer to help out a friend who is struggling, be compassionate to those who are facing illness or loss, volunteer to do a kind act anonymously.

Exercise your spirit: read an inspiration book, listen to someone who has lived through challenges and triumphed, listen to music that uplifts you or brings you to happy memories, laugh at the silly antics of your pets or your children, roll down a hillside into leaves, find an avenue to engage the side of you that feels pure, unadulterated joy.

Enjoy your life…it’s the only one you will have to live. Make someone smile, and smile in return. You will be rewarded in innumerable ways.

Opposite Day

Sponge Bob Square Pants, “great philosopher” of Nickelodeon cartoons, is actually quit funny for adults. I realize that a classically trained yoga teacher should probably consider Sponge Bob “beneath her”, but in all honesty, I like Sponge Bob. He makes me laugh. And, since TV largely consists of bad news that I can do very little to change, now and then it just fun to be silly. With Sponge Bob. Great theatrical imagery it’s not. But, sometimes, silliness overrides quality. In one of my favorite Sponge Bob episodes, the characters celebrate Opposite Day. If you normally say “Good morning !”, you would instead say “Have a crappy day !” If you have a cat that normally meows, it will bark instead. If you usually walk on your feet to work, you might try walking on your hands. It’s pure silliness, and obviously, these examples are cartoon inspired.

But, what would you do if you could create a real Opposite Day in your own life ? Imagine the possibilities ! If you are normally a shy person, you could make a point to be very outgoing…knowing that you’re putting on a “character”. If you’re overwhelmed and frustrated by your daily grind, you could cut out every single thing that makes you grumpy, and turn yourself into the picture of Serenity personified. It’s Opposite Day, so you would have permission to simply unload those commitments that overwork you. What about an exceptionally peppy person….like myself ? I’ve often thought about just making myself take a day to simply slow down and listen, as opposed to barreling over (and through) my day. If you normally dress very conservatively, perhaps you could spice your look up a bit. I’m not advocating going from Amish Schoolmarm to Lady of the Evening. But, look at some current magazines, think about getting a new haircut, or wearing an outfit that says “Hello !”, rather than fading into the background. By the same token, if you have a full force sense of style that is up on every trend, think about toning it down for just one day…dressing a bit more conservatively and reining in that overabundant look. You may be surprised by the reaction you receive to these changes. When George Constanza, a 90’s character on “Seinfeld”, made every single decision to the opposite of his normal choices, all of his dreams came true: he moved out of his parents’ house, found a girl to fall in love with and was hired by the New York Yankees for his dream job !

Opposite day actually has the potential to bring you great freedom. Because you are only making these choices for *one* day, you have a world of opposite possibilities open to you. I have long thought about offering my Yoga class in an Opposite Day format. I discussed this with my students today, and they loved the idea. We’re going to try it next week….we’ll be doing our usually Ashtanga based routine, but we’ll begin in Savasana, and end with Sun Salutations. I’m sure Yoga purists would be horrified. But, the fact is, everyone needs a little silliness in their life. The world can get awfully serious, especially during the times we live in. If something like Opposite Day helps break the monotony, I say “carry on !” The truth is, like George Constanza, we may actually learn to make some good decisions this way. By going in an opposite direction, we may end up in a wonderful new place. We may find that “shaking things up” is exactly what we needed to get a kick start in a new direction…even if it’s an opposite one. Ruts happen to the best of us, but Opposite Day may just be one way to shake us out of that rut. If nothing else, Opposite Day can be a lot of fun.

So, eat spaghetti for breakfast, serve French toast for dinner, and think about saying a hearty “Good morning !” to the person at work who is snarky to you. It’ll bring a smile to your face. And, you can wear pajamas to the market, just this once. After all, it’s Opposite Day !

Life's a journey

Have you ever imagined just chucking your life as you know it, and taking off for the wide, open lanes to explore America ? With nothing but the wind at your back, and a devil may care attitude, just going, never knowing where you might end up that evening ? Honestly, I never had. I’m a planner. I like to know where I’m going, when I’m going to get there, and what my plan is for arrival. My mother, who is much the same way, once described this to me in this way, “We’re product people, not process people.” It was such a simple explanation for why I don’t enjoy the ride of the journey, but the destination.

I do love to travel. I am one of the few people who actually enjoys flying. Rather, I love being flown. It’s like a great big taxi. I’m even getting much more tolerant of long lines at the airport, always being singled out to look at my back extra closely (Seriously ? A mom from Maine ?), and don’t even mind waiting for my bags at Carousel 3.
So, what was it about “Queen of the Road: The True Tale of 47 states, 22,000 miles, 200 pairs of shoes, 2 cats, 1 poodle, a husband and a bus with a will all its own” by Doreen Orion that was incredibly appealing to me ? The author writes as I would speak. She hates camping, she hates hiking, she loves to live (and work !) in her pajamas, she’s an animal lover and she has cocktail recipes for every chapter. In short, she’s my kind of Jewish American Princess. Her unbelievably humorous take on this voyage is both internal and external: she describes her own personal transformation from her initial reaction of shock and horror to acceptance of honoring her husband’s dream. She then moves from grudgingly seeing the positive side of living on a bus for a year….she can wear her jammies all the time…to a deeper appreciation for her husband and truly “seeing” our country, not just ‘fly in, visit, and get out’ travel that I’m used to. The couples’ outrageous misadventures from a bus door, possessed by demons, swinging open at unsafe times to the bus’ high end overhaul’s amenities rarely working, makes for slapstick comedy, and a laugh out loud read. Doreen Orion is so funny, as I read the book sitting outside my son’s school for pick up time, I think the mothers walking by my car were sure I had multiple personalities. I could almost see them dialing 911 to say “There is a crazy mother in a tan SUV, who is laughing as everyone walks by her car. She needs help now. Send strong men in white coats !”.

Considering that I’m exceptionally claustrophobic, whine on even the shortest car rides and am all about the destination, why did this book make me consider wanting to do the very same feat as Doreen Orion and her husband ? I believe, partly, it was because I felt such a kinship to the author. Her own awakening to the journey being a destination, in itself, was appealing. I also thought it just sounded like fun. For the first time in my life, I wanted to throw the dogs and the killer bunny in an RV and go drive to Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore and Yosemite. I wanted to make sandwiches while Jeff drove the rig, and wear slippers all day. I wanted to see new places and feel that sense of freedom by not being tied to the never ending projects of our house. What I began dreaming about, while reading this book, was not the soul crushing drone of the highway, but liberation.

I began researching luxury RV’s and bus conversions. I never said I fantasized about roughing it, by the way. What I discovered was astounding ! Most of these vehicles are more well appointed than my house ! I envisioned pulling into a scenic drop off, stepping out of my cherry kitchen bus and practicing yoga with mountain views in the background. I thought of Jeff and me, now a full year into our 2nd decade of marriage, reconnecting with both children happily studying at their respective college and prep schools. I watched HGTV’s special on the three most extraordinary RV’s and literally drooled at the thought of the whirlpool bath and master suite “to go”. I imagined stopping off to see the kids, and never needing to book a hotel room again.
Of course, reality did set in. At well over $1 million for a “simple” luxury RV, and with both gas and Diesel prices at their highest level ever, this dream has had to remain one for the foreseeable future. But, just the experience of allowing my thoughts to “go there,” to imagine possibilities I never could have guess I’d be interested in, was wonderful exercise in freeing my mind. And, it did teach me two valuable lessons: never say never, and maybe the journey is worthwhile after all….as long as it comes with satellite TV.

My Yoga teacher message to each of you today is: "Don't think about what you won't do; think about new possibilities." It doesn't even matter if these possibilities come true. Opening our minds to new horizons (both literally and metaphorically) can be a lesson itself.

The Burn Pile

As is tradition for most northern New Englanders, we burn our leaf pile every fall. In the spring, we do our yard clean up of felled branches, dead trees, and anything else that hasn’t survived the long Maine snow season. Having two fires a year is not intimidating. My husband is the son of a fire chief, so I am certain we’re operating these piles with the greatest care and supervision. Because of this, we can also use the chance to throw things on the fire that are simply not nice enough to give away, and are burnable. The old wooden benches that my parents had 30 years ago were rotting and warped. We threw them on the fire. The kids’ old wooden playset was no longer safe, and considering our children are now teenagers, it was easy enough to take the useless pieces off to burn. (I should point out that the good wood from the playset was recycled into the bunny’s summer hutch). Our first living room set from “This End Up” that saw us through a couple of decades, first inside, then out….it was busted and useless. But, it made for wonderful fodder for the fire.

Unlike the Bonfire of the Vanities, in which 15th century Italians were urged to burn any objects that would lead them to the sin of self-centeredness, or the famous Nazi book burning so lavishly depicted in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”, our burn pile does not signify hatred. Rather, they’re a cleaning out of items that are unneeded. (And not environmentally hazardous).


If we look at the burn pile metaphorically, we can intuit what would like to rid our lives of that is weighing us down. Can we let go of toxic relationships ? What about unhealthy habits ? How about needless spending on more material “stuff” ? Let’s go further…can we rid ourselves of rage, of bigotry, of jealousy and of greed ? Can we toss ambivalence and bitterness and contempt on the fire ? Let’s think about what else we can release the flames: impatience, ingratitude and fear of change. What about just letting go of snarky responses to those we love most...and usually bear the brunt of our bad day grouchiness ?


The ancients used to believe that burning brought purification. The fires brought renewal after they burned out. One of my favorite myths is that of the Phoenix: the bird that will live, will burst into flame, and then will be born anew from the ashes. Just as areas of new, green growth can be seen after a fire has ravaged a canyon, so can the areas of our lives be cleared out of negativity. If we toss anger onto the flames, we can cultivate compassion from the ashes. If we relinquish our need to “keep up with the Joneses”, we can feel deep gratitude for all that we’ve been blessed with. And, if we can surrender ambivalence over to the bonfire, releasing it forever, we can ignite a passion within ourselves to create the reality we choose.


So, if you had a bonfire, to rid your yard of the debris of your life, what would you burn ? And, more importantly, what you cultivate in its place ?

Time of Transition

Autumn in Maine is leaf peeper season. It means warm sweaters, hot apple cider and happy kids jumping into leaf piles. It evokes smells of crisp air, the sweet smell of the last marshmallows of the season, and the scent of fresh winter winds around corner. It’s a time to hunker down and prepare for the coming cold weather. But, it’s also a time to enjoy the most beautiful season in northern New England. There are no mosquitoes the size of small birds. There are still tourists about, but the congestion and traffic is far more manageable. “Locals” greet one another again, as if we can welcome our little town back after its busy summer. Pumpkins are available at every farm stand , along with homemade pies and hand knit mittens. It’s a time of bounty in coastal Maine. It’s the one time of year people “from away” see the coast photographed in movies and in print.

And yet, there are many people who see Autumn as the end of something magical, rather than the beginning. My father used to get a wistful expression on his face on the Fourth of July. If we asked him why he seemed blue, he’d reply “Summer’s almost over”. For those who don’t love Autumn the way I do, Autumn is not a time of joyful bonfires but a time of sadness. There people who find this to be a season of loss and decay. Instead of seeing the brilliant red and yellow leaves, they see their favorite shade tree is ‘dying’. Just as the Greek myth of Demeter went into grief, striking the world with six month of barrenness for Hades’ kidnapping of her daughter, Persephone, many feel sorrow at this dormant and introspective time of year.

In Yoga, most traditional Hatha and Ashtanga based classes end with Savasana: corpse pose. The first yoga class I took, I was a invited as a guest by my friend, Tammie. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, and was extremely self-conscious the whole time. When our teacher announced we would be ending the class with Corpse Pose, I was more than a little taken aback. We were supposed to lie on our backs and pretend to be dead ? I had images of an entire studio full of chalk outlines and crime scene photographers. I imagined a Film Noir detective kneeling by my body, speaking into a Dictaphone, saying “The victim took a yoga class to keep her friend company, and that was the end of her.” Little did I know how soothing Savasana can be.

It’s now ten years later, and I can’t imagine not having this valuable tool in my arsenal to fight stress and tension. At the end of each class, I invite my students to lie prone and, with verbal cues, to relax each muscle group. I have found that by initially tensing each muscle area and then relaxing it, I’m able to bring a fuller release to each area. By slowing the breath and moving into a quiet breathing pattern, by clearing your mind of random thoughts and by focusing on nothing but allowing yourself the grace of renewal, the body is able to gain in strength. It sounds funny, doesn’t it ? Relaxing, to gain strength ? Lying prone, like a sloth, creates energy ? Studies have shown that regular practice of Savasana can help improve your immune system, can improve insomnia, can increase your overall stamina and has more of a rejuvenating effect than sleep does.

So, in Autumn, it’s a wonderful excuse to practice this Yoga pose. Make sure you have a space in your home in which you can lie undisturbed, put on quiet music and just allow yourself to recharge, like a battery. You will feel renewed and your spirit will feel restored. Your mind and body will thank you. Instead of thinking of this as the pose of death, remind yourself that it is life giving. And, I promise: no CSI photographers will traipse through your living room.