Two days I began my journey into a simplified life. I read Benjamin Franklin's words, "Be sober and temperate, and you will be healthy." I looked up the definition of "temperate", and was intrigued by the old fashioned ring to the expression. The sound stirred up thoughts of prohibition, and yet still evoked the peaceful sense of a controlled, orderly way to live. Webster's dictionary defines temperate in this way: "marked by moderation, keeping or held within limits : not extreme or excessive". I have to admit, I was smitten with the concept. For years, perhaps even for most of my life, I have felt a desperate need to be on top of every area in my life. I've felt the need to dress in the latest style, to have my hair a specific way and a pathological desire to fit into the popular cultural landscape. While I'd always hoped to be accepted and liked on my merits, the fact remained that, deep down inside, I was a glutton for keeping up with the "Joneses". No one made me feel this way. I easily slid down the Slope of Consumption and happily made purchases on the way.I've always loved to shop. Shopping, for me, was a Power Sport. In my husband's mind, shopping was a mission. He saw the needed item as an objective, the store as territory to traverse and the strategy involving speed and accuracy. On the other hand, I found shopping to be relaxing, even restorative. I could be upset by bad news, have worries over health or even just feel garden variety stress, and the first place I'd want to go would be to the mall. Somewhere between Banana Republic and French Connection, I'd find myself able to breathe again. Those purchases in hand felt like magic, soothing balms to my weary soul. I'd get an uplifting, soaring spirit from every credit card swipe. I'd buy clothes, jewelry, handbags, shoes, perfume and home decor. I'd feel blissfully dynamic on my way out to my car.
Yet, the opening of my trunk would begin to kill the rush of positive energy. Starting the drive home would already begin to leave me disappointed...and more than just a little embarrassed at my own greedy behavior. By the time I'd carry parcels in, I'd wonder what came over me. I felt ashamed at my own inability to find joy in other ways.
While I never got to the point of many women, who lose their homes and careers due to shopping addictions, I will say that I am not happy with myself about my views on shopping. I am completely rational, well educated and responsible. Therefore, it shouldn't take a new pair of suede boots, no matter how soft, to make me feel better about myself. I don't hoard and regularly give a great deal to the charity shops. But, I also realize that my sense of self-worth is too intrinsically tied to material gain to be healthy. So, I'm giving it up. All of it. No more recreational jaunts to the Gap. No more open catalogs surrounding me in bed. No more Internet browsing of fabulous sites. No more putting unneeded items on a worshipped pedestal.
Two ideas came my way this past year and inspired me to take on a Year of Temperate Living. The first was reading "The Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs. In this well written, clever, witty and touching journal, the author explores his roots by living according to even the most remote and obscure biblical principles. I devoured this book, mainly because I was deeply impressed at the level of commitment that these drastic measures entailed. I also noticed the profound impact that taking a year to gain perspective on life's greater meanings had on the writer. Although A.J. Jacobs never intended to go further past his year, he did find that the life changes he made were far reaching and powerful.
The other life impacting movement that caught my attention was theOctober Dress Project. This fascinating project took on many forms, took on different names, and created a frenzy of interest all over the Internet. Many women, like myself, found frustration in trying to be stylish....the frustration came financially, personally and even ethically. How can we continue to become voracious consumers and not become bankrupt...emotionally and pecuniary? I read account after account of the rich meaning women gained from this experience, including my friend, Alexandra's. I became enamored of trying it myself. Yet, when it came down to my own attempt at this project, I became way too caught up in the shopping aspect...the hunt for the Perfect Dress. I realized that, for me, this wasn't a healthy challenge.
And so, it begins: I'm laying down the challenge for myself. I'm not going to buy anything I don't need. I have already defined need vs. want in my own heart and life. I do not need clothes, shoes or accessories. I don't need to buy books, movies or entertainment features, as all of these can come from the library. I need food, health care, the love of my family and friends and nothing more.
Will it work? I hope so. I'm also hoping to learn some lessons about my own sense of strength along the way. I know that this will not be easy for me. But, I think I owe it to myself to try.
I will continue to write "The Preppy Yogini", but I hope you will join me in my new venture: The Year of Temperate Living.
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