HealthyFellow.com

All too often television news, sound bites, newspaper pieces and magazines will be dedicated to one area of health. These pieces can impart incredibly important information, and keep the public informed. However, far too often, each medium will focus exclusively on one specific methodology to overall wellness. A blog that I came upon recently, creates a new genre for keeping the public informed on all areas of well being. From the truth about garlic as a healthful supplement to the affects of Tai Chi on diabetes, Healthyfellow.com, gives a wonderfully impartial, unbiased overview on many different approaches to wellness. Each post offers some thoughts, ideas and good, solid facts about achieving one's health goals. Additionally, Healthyfellow.com explores options, such as alternative methods to self care for breast health.

As a yogini, good health is very important to me. But, as a cancer survivor, my health is not something I take lightly, or for granted. One of the aspects of Healthyfellow.com that I find the most helpful is its take on looking at holistic medicine, rather that strictly keeping its information allopathic. A balanced approach, looking at every possibility that is best for one's personal location on life's health journey, can be extremely beneficial. An uninformed patient has no idea what her options are. A well educated patient can better make the best choices for her care and for her life.

Lastly, another reason this blog found its way to a meaningful place in my reading schedule is that it debunks holistic health myths. One area that is rampant with untested theory and unproven tricks to heal is in the natural foods and health industry. I am passionate about natural, whole foods and naturapathic health. However, when something is not a product that 'works', it should not be touted as such. I believe these 'snake oil' tales do more to harm the reputation those of us interested in natural medicine than anything else. By looking at what works, and what simply is untrue, Healthyfellow.com takes an honest approach in a sometimes dishonest industry. I applaud them for their hard work and efforts, and I will continue to be a faithful reader.

Please click on THE TITLE above for a direct link to Healthyfellow.com.

The Shack

Earth's crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God,

But he who sees, takes off his shoes;

The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

It isn't often that a fictional story can weave exceptional theological, spiritual and literary threads together to create both an interesting read, and a work of spiritual growth. I had read countless reviews for William Paul Young's controversial book, "The Shack", for months before reading it. There were readers who felt it changed their lives miraculously for the better. There were others who believed the book was heretical and dangerous. There were many people who found themselves deeply comforted, and others who found a more exceptional and extraordinary meaning to their walk with the Divine. Still, there were those churches and lay Christian groups who spoke passionately against the premise of the novel, and urged all not only to boycott it, but to ban it from libraries and bookstores. Because I'm a woman of strong beliefs in my faith, as well as a woman of strong convictions against book banning, I was very curious about "The Shack". Would I be offended? Would I be horrified? Would I have a miraculous transformation for my belief system? Would this book create a "Road to Damascus"moment for me, in opening my eyes to greater understanding of God?

In the novel, Mack is a grieving, bitter and understandably shaken father, who lost his precious youngest child to an insidious serial killer, who murdered Missy at a remote shack. After turning his heart away from his surviving children, his wife and his friends, Mack sinks into an understandable, but deeply troubling depression. Mack is angry at God, angry at his own sense of guilt and angry at a world in which vicious crimes against the most innocent can occur. When Mack receives a mysterious note to "Meet Papa" (his code word for God) at The Shack. Mack doesn't believe that God will truly meet him at this symbolic and wretched location. But, Mack does pack up and go, not sure what his actions will lead once he arrives. Mack's journey is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Instead of staying in deserted, crumbling shanty in the darkest depths of winter, Mack awakes to a light filled, beautiful cottage on a stunning autumn lake. And God is making Mack breakfast.

"Papa" doesn't appear as the tremendous Anglo-Saxon judge of the western perspective. He's not an old white man with a beard. Papa appears to Mack as a beautiful African-American woman, whose love radiates from her smile, her eyes and her glowing skin. In my own mind, as was reading this novel, I pictured Queen Latifah as playing this role. However, as with any good work of fiction, the reader is free to 'cast' the characters in her own mind and heart. As we come to know Papa, Jesus (a Jewish carpenter from the middle East) and the Holy Spirit (an Asian woman, who is light of heart), our ideas of exactly what Christianity, faith and personal opinion hold are challenged. Mack is met by the Trinity, but it's a Trinity with whom he can relate, of whom he's not afraid and by whom he doesn't feel betrayed. Mack's quest to gain closure regarding Missy's death opens doors to him to help him realize that God is far greater than any given preconceived notion that humans have devised. Mack is met by God, but not the God he was expecting....Mack was met by the God he needed to see: the loving, healing, redemptive, compassionate and unexpected Divine. Mack was looking for anger, but what he found was forgiveness and blessing.

Mack's journey, in "The Shack", is the archetypcal heroic quest. Just like Homer's Odysseus, Tolkein's "Lord of the Rings" hero, Aragorn, Shakespeare's Hamlet, and countless others, Mack must go on a journey...literally and metaphorically. The heroic quest is defined as "as much a physical journey as it is an emotional and spiritual journey and a journey toward self-knowledge.", according to Joseph Campbell's excellent paper, "The Hero Journey". Mack must separate himself from the 'real' world, he must be given a 'call', he must reject the call, he must cross the threshold, he must endure trials, and he must return triumphant. "The Shack" takes the reader through each of these stages, but in unique and spiritual ways. Mack finds the unexpected, he dismisses it, he struggles against it, he comes to terms slowly with his journey, and he returns to his own world, still saddened, but healed. Where was a frozen, barren shack, transforms into a beautiful dream cottage.

I have long believed that although my Judeo-Christian traditions 'view' God in one way, God is far too large to "put in a box" containing the opinions of a group of men from long ago. God is transcendent beyond any labels we can try to fix on Him. God is not limited, but is limitless. Just as God has the exceptional power to transform "my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." (Psalm 30:11), God has the power to transform the Divine image into what He sees in our hearts that we need at this moment. God can speak to us through our friends, through our family, through books, and through strangers. God is not confined to being an old man in white robes with a long flowing beard. By that definition, He is confined to the image of Tolkein's "Gandalf" or Prospero from Shakespeare's "Tempest". God is Divine and consistent in the love, compassion, devotion and unbridled healing that is available to us. But, what does He have to look like? I believe that the very nature of the Divine makes that question irrelevant...or relevant only to each one of our needs. God does not change. But, He meets us where are...and who we are...in order to reach us.

"The Shack" is a tremendous book. I highly recommend it. If you find it offensive or divisive, I beg you to ask yourself 'why?'. Although I did not experience a miraculous conversion, as St. Paul did on his own version of the heroic quest, I can say that "The Shack" broadened my imagination, and opened to my heart to ideas I had already experienced as truth. I hope that you will read this book and gain insight into your own journey.

Rainy Days & Mondays

Being a child growing up in the 1970's, I can clearly remember my parents playing their Carpenters' records. These old albums still evoke strong memories every time I hear one of the songs come onto the radio...on the oldies station. When I hear "I'm on the top of the world", I can imagine my father singing along in the car. "Close to you" never failed to bring happy tears to my mother's eyes. However, the song that seems to be playing on perpetual loop in my head this summer is "Rainy Days & Mondays". The refrain from this song is:

Hangin around, nothing do to but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down....

Nostalgia can be a wonderful feeling. However, even though I can remember this song on long car trips, playing in the background of my parents cocktail parties, and simply as a piece of the memory book that creates my mental pictures of my childhood, I have to say that these lyrics have rung far too true this summer in Maine. It has rained 26 days out of the past 39 days. It hasn't just been foggy or simply disappointing summer weather. It's been a utterly, miserably soggy summer. When weather forecasts predict a minimum of ten more days of downpours, it can be very disconcerting emotionally.

What is a yogini to do? Drown herself in her swamp-like backyard? Or, soldier on and find rainy activities to keep our spirits up? As appealing as sinking up to my ankles in what used to be a beautiful lawn sounds, I vote for soldering on...and finding ways to keep my happiness factor up, even if the weather is choosing not to cooperate. One of the most wonderful ways I've found to break the rainy day blues is to switch up our usual schedule. As simplistic as this sounds, just moving around, experiencing our every day life in different ways, is an effective method for chasing off the blues. Although my children are now older, I can vividly remember swapping out the kitchen table for the living room, for evenings in which picnics are rained out. They enjoyed nothing better than throwing a blanket down on the living room floor, lighting a fire in the fireplace and creating a camping feeling by even letting the kids roast marshmallows over the fire to make S'mores. However, this last activity did require intensive burned marshmallow removal from the hearth. Regardless, we were able to break the wet doldrums, have a great deal of fun, and get out of depressing funk. We still play games in that same spot, put on music that lifts us all up and change the mood from sarcasm to sensational, on the very worst afternoons. Even if you're on your own, imagine how much more pleasant it will be to sit on the floor, eating picnic food, than to stare out your kitchen window at gray skies.

Another wonderful way to beat a case of rainy-day-itis is to create a movie festival. With older children, or even on your own, it's fun to create a Oscar nominated (or Oscar winning) film festival. We have done this with great success, and this past weekend was a bonanza of movies that were all nominated in the past year's Academy season. Slumdog Millionaire, Defiance, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and others graced our DVD and helped us create an entertainment atmosphere. On nights that we would normally be heading our separate ways, or even just outside, watching high quality movies can be an enriching experience to share as a family...or to treat yourself with. If Oscar fare isn't your cup of tea, why not try an action packed weekend, featuring heist films, or a family marathon of Disney's best? Why not invite your closest friends over for Cosmopolitans and a "Sex & The City" retrospective"? Have fun with creating an atmosphere that creates a mood for your theme...knowing that your friends and family are just as wrung out from the weather as you are. By creating a movie fiesta, you will not only be entertained, but have a great deal more fun than mindlessly flipping through the channels. Cook treats that can enhance your theme....a Vegas-like buffet spread for an "Oceans 11" theme, canapes and champagne for chick flicks or peanut butter & jelly, cut out with Mickey Ears cookie cutters, before you sit down to a night of the Little Mermaid and The Lion King.

As a yogini, I must also add that rainy days, as depressing as they can be just as July is beginning, can be a wonderful time to deepen your yoga practice. Yoga is more than exercise. It can help ease your state of mind. Practicing at least 4 rounds of Sun Salutations can be a powerful method of getting your endorphins moving, allow the heat to rise from your belly and to create energy out of doldrums.

Sun Salutations have a proven impact on stimulating the part of the brain that helps us feel incredible joy, so the more rounds you can practice, the more stimulated that region of your brain will become...and the better you will feel. In ending Sun Salutations with Lightening Bolt pose, as seen in the picture to the left, you can channel the activity outside into a dynamic asana inside...and also gain definition in your quads and shoulders to boot. Lightening Bolt can be held for as long as your body is feeling mighty, or can done in sequential flow. However your practice finds its path, adding in elements from the 'outside in' can bring a natural link between the world outside your door, and your practice on the mat.

Reading your way through a series of books you've wanted to tackle, window shopping in catalogs, trying new recipes to cook, visiting museums, and volunteering at places like your local library (who are often swamped on rainy days) can bring a sense of vigor to the gray sky slump, too. The key to overcoming "rainy day and Monday" melancholia is to find ways around it. Shaving cream fights, water balloons (the kids are wet already!) and slip and slide in the rain can get even surly teenagers out the door and into a spirit of laughter. Most of all, take just a few moments at the beginning, and end, of each day to count your blessings. Rainy weeks or not, there are an infinite number of things to be thankful for. Gratitude can be great mood elevator....and it can also help you to see that rain, while inconvenient for our short summer season, can also bring opportunities we wouldn't have had otherwise.

The realist sees reality as concrete. The optimist sees reality as clay. ~Robert Brault

Heaven

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." ~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, Scene V

I am a firm believer in Heaven. I can feel it with my heart and my soul and within the essence of my spirit. Although atheists may believe that the notion of Heaven is "opiate for the masses", I remain firm in my contention that there is another realm of being after this life on earth. Life is far too precious and far too short to simply end unresolved. What I've found most fascinating, after years of studying the subject, is that all religious traditions have similar beliefs in a post-life experience. The language each one uses may be different, and therefore, may lead to disagreement and confusion. However, the fact that, just as with the Great Flood, this notion exists at all in cultures around the world, leads credence to a universal, human belief and universal memory of Heaven.

In Larry Libby's wonderful children's book, "Someday Heaven", the author explores his own opinion, mixed with Christian tradition and Biblical references, about the possibilities of what lies beyond this life. When I was the Director of Education for our church, I used this extraordinary book as the basis for a unit study, as well as with my own young children when my father passed away. "Someday Heaven" paints a beautiful picture, describing Heaven in metaphors that children can relate to. Mr. Libby asks his readers to imagine having a wonderful day...the best they had ever had. He goes on to describe that feeling of having to get off your favorite swing, put your toys away and to say goodbye to your friends. He then invites us to imagine never having to say those goodbyes, never having to end a game, and never having to relinquish that delicious feeling of having the time of your life. The truly inspiring aspect of this book was how much it has touched every adult I've ever met who has read it, and been uplifted by it. When a children's book, even one on spiritual matters, can be understood at a deeper level by grown ups, I believe it has exceptional merit. The picture "Someday Heaven" paints is one of hope, of comfort and of a delightful eternity...as a "good day that lasts forever".

Painting, the art form, is often the medium that best captures different individuals' ideas about Heaven. Reubens, Da Vinci, Micheangelo, Botticelli, El Greco, Velazquez and countless others created the artistic equivalent of a snapshot of their own beliefs and opinions as to the nature of Heaven. The extraordinary Mandalas created by Buddhist monks evoke "visions of Heaven", as they envision them. The beautiful aspect of the Mandala is its circular nature: it has no beginning and no end. The images we see of Heaven are as varied as human beings themselves. Just as no two artists imagine Heaven in quite the same way, neither do no two people. We bring with us our own preconceived notions, our own imaginations and our own belief traditions. We bring with us, as we create our personal imagery, our childhood ideals, our adult concepts and our religious training. We carry forward our unique personalities and our special preferences. The artistic impression of Heaven is neither right nor wrong. It is that personal, exceptional and individual concept of Heaven that I find so captivating.

I believe no film has ever had a greater impact on me than "What Dreams May Come", starring Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding, Jr. Far from the usual Robin Williams flair for off the cuff comedy, this brilliantly and beautifully created film captures the horror of what happens in one family, and the exceptional world in which they reunite. Using one family member's paintings as the impetus for Heaven, Robin Williams takes a journey throughout the next realm to find his loved ones once again. In taking up this quest, his character comes to understand a great deal more about life on earth, about his role as husband and father and about the power of love. Buddhists might use this film to establish the concept of Enlightenment. Christians would clearly see the metaphors for how we live on Earth effecting our existence in Heaven. And yet, specific religious traditions aside, the stunning concept of stepping literally into a painting, as the basis of Robin Williams' idea of Heaven, comes closer to my own personal beliefs than any I've encountered.

The Maoris believe in levels of the afterlife, closely resembling the ideas accepted by the Hindu faith. The Jews picture the"World to Come" and the Baha'i tradition believes Heaven is an eternal alignment with God. Christian views differ greatly, depending upon the tradition of any particular school of though, but all see Heaven as an infinite existence of everlasting joy. Plato saw our world as mere shadow of the idealized, perfected world that awaits us. But, what do my own personal beliefs tell me? I believe my own conception of Heaven has been created by my own life experiences, my own tastes and sensibilities and my own hopes in what I wish to see. I do believe that I have created my own reality in how I perceive "The World to Come" with an Episcopalian twist. But, deep down, I submit that most people have probably done the same thing. For my husband, a lover of nature and especially of the steep hills and woods of New England, I see a Heaven of extraordinary trails and mountains views. For my mother, I envision an idealized Europe, full of art, music, culture and all the dogs she's ever loved welcome at every outdoor cafe. For myself, I picture a mixture of all the eternal worlds of those I love. I see myself able to travel between them all with ease. I see a magnificent English library, containing floor to ceiling books, and eternity to read them all. I imagine the world's most comfortable chairs, a roaring fire, my precious pets at my feet and a cup of perfectly brewed tea at my elbow at all times. I envision a lovely conservatory off to one side with sweeping views of the places I love best. Perhaps I will see Notre Dame Cathedral one moment, and Sugarloaf mountain the next. Maybe I will see the beautiful foothills above Santa Barbara, the canals of Venice or the bright lights of Broadway. I can just as easily picture our own quiet cove in Maine, as I can my honeymoon spot in the extraordinary Austrian Alps.

That's the amazing part of "My Blue Heaven"....it's ever changing, it's dynamic and it's unique to me. In the same way, I imagine your own Heaven to be unique to you. Regardless of whether or not one shares in my beliefs, I find the subject and idea of Heaven to be a true delight. Whether Heaven is "a good day that lasts forever", "eternal oneness with the Divine", "a peaceful way station before the World to Come" or simply another doorway, I believe each of us have our own stamp on what part of us goes on forever. For those who believe this world simply ends, and we cease to exist, that too, is a concept of closing a chapter. But, in my C.S. Lewis belief fashion, I look forward to my own journey of "Onward and Upward".

Lost in Translation

"Follow the yellow brick road..." L. Frank Baum, "The Wizard of Oz".

One of the features my car came equipped with is a built in GPS system. Using global positioning, the computer can tell me where I am, and give me clear directions to my destination. I have found this tool to be incredibly helpful, over the past two years, during one cross country drive, and many trips around New England and Canada for my teenagers' athletic and school events. No more fussing with maps. No more arguing with my husband as to what is a highway, and what is, in fact, a river. Because our honeymoon was spent in the Austrian Alps, driving from one beautiful vista to another, maps began to be a bone of contention in my marriage, as I seem to lack the basic intellectual brain chip that would enable me to plan and plot a reasonable (and possible) course. Hence, having a GPS, after 20 years of marriage, seemed like a gift from Heaven....the computer could tell us which turns to make, what landmarks we would pass and even help us to find the most feasible rest stops. Unfortunately, this past weekend, our directions were lost in translation.


Our daughter was going to spend the week at a friend's house in southern Massachusetts. The highway route and directions from the interstate to her classmate's home were clear and easy to follow. We gratefully listened to "Please exit to follow I-495 South" and "Turn right at the next intersection". We were very pleased when the GPS informed us that "We had arrived at our destination". Unfortunately, our return home was not as simple. For reasons we have yet to comprehend, the GPS computer didn't backtrack the way we came. Instead, we found ourselves being ordered to drive around random neighborhoods, head away from the highway and traverse towns completely out of our way. We turned onto tiny rural roads, and drove through main streets of unfamiliar villages. In short, the GPS lost us. It insisted we take roads that would lead us away from our destination or from any main roads. It demanded we make U-Turns if we tried to head in the general area we knew needed to be. It became difficult and argumentative when we chose not to follow its ridiculous directions. I may be anthropomorphising the GPS, but I think it was angry at us, and vented.


Eventually, my husband and I, having lived in various parts of New England for most of our lives, simply ignored the GPS. We looked at the map it supplied, but refused to listen to one more directed turn into a residential development. After a great deal of confusion, heated debate on which way to proceed, we found a familiar road number eventually, one that we knew would take us to the highway. We did learn our lesson. GPS computers are simply tools. They are not, as I had once believed, magical devices created just to make my life easier. Sometimes the information they dispense is incorrect, but because they are not thinking, creative humans, they just regurgitate what information they posses. Eventually, we found our way, we came to more familiar territory and we arrived home safe and sound, and not too much later than we'd planned to be.

This experience helped me to think deeply about communication, and about how much we depend upon information given to us, rather than information we ferret out for ourselves. While services like the GPS, Internet search engines and the media can give us information, how accurate can we trust it to be? How meaningful to our specific need is this recommendation or guidance? While news and reports are valuable tools, we must not stop simply taking each piece we receive as the absolute truth of any situation, whether it is driving directions or seemingly factual accounts of note. It is critical that we learn to process the knowledge given to us and create our own sense of accuracy and believability. Just as my husband and I were positive the GPS was shepherding us further and further away from our path, we must be clear about the other information we receive in our lives, and in which direction it leads us. We must become literate in our decision making, and not be led astray, just because we are told a path to take. We must learn to trust our intuition, at times, and readjust our direction if we head off course, both figuratively and literally.


In Yoga, one of the asanas that can aid in helping us discern our direction is Gate Pose. In Gate, we are opening our bodies, in two ways: the first is the outward expression of reaching upwards and opening our hearts. The inward work that Gate post can help us accomplish is to allow our hearts to be open to both the outward flow from within us, as well as the inward flow from the universe into our lives. Gate pose is one of the asanas that allows us to find our direction. We can stretch our bodies and work into the incredible sense of openness, and we can work our minds and hearts to achieve that same kind of flexibility. We can move out of the pose and readjust by making small changes to help us to gain the maximum benefit. Just as in the rest of our lives, Gate pose can aid us in finding areas in which we are heading correctly, as well as those spots we need to rethink.


On life's journey, take the time to reassess your situation. Don't blindly listen to directions if they seem wrong or out of balance. Process the information you're given and use it in the way that best suits your goal. Above all, don't be afraid to simply stop and turn around. It's much better to reverse direction than it is to wind up in a river.

100th Blog Post: Inspiration & Gratitude

"Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation and a pinch of creativity." ~ Bo Bennett

As I begin my 100th blog post, I am compelled to reflect upon how very much the Preppy Yogini has meant to me. This outlet has been a defining influence on taking the next steps on the path of my life. I have been immeasurably blessed by the love, interest and thoughts shared by readers (even those I'm related to!), and want to express my thanks to any and all who have taken an interest in my random, rambling thoughts. As I've been reading over my previous 99 posts, I'm not only thankful I've had this medium for learning to write more fluently, but for what I've learned about myself...my own history and my thought processes. Writing this blog has been a window that I'm grateful to have to gaze along my psyche. My humble gratitude aside, I would like to touch on just a few areas in which I have found my own personal growth and on which, I am continuing to discover my voice.

YOGA, it will come as no surprise, has been a defining aspect of my life. I began taking yoga classes almost 10 years ago, when a dear friend begged me to come to class with her. This invitation was given at a dinner party, over a glass of wine. She wasn't positive that Yoga was going to be 'her thing' but wanted to have me along for moral support. As fate would have it, my friend became a serious and dedicated runner, and I fell in love with Yoga. I began to study in earnest, and found extraordinary teachers to aid me in my quest to learn more. I found a confidence in myself and, for the first time in my life, began to look at my body without self-criticism and disgust at my lack of perfection, but with appreciation for all I could learn to do. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2003, and then again with another serious illness that landed me in intensive care in 2007, Yoga was the single most critical part of my life in helping my recovery. Not only was I in excellent physical condition to withstand the harsh demands my weakened body was making on me, but my mind knew calming, restorative and peaceful techniques to aid me in some of the most invasive time and procedures. After my initial illness 5 years ago, I began my Registered Yoga Teacher training, and I have found it to be the best decision I could have made. Not only has this enabled me to give back and teach many of the thoughts and techniques that have blessed me, but I have discovered that in teaching, in sharing what I've learned, I myself have been incredibly blessed in return by my students' own journeys.

READING WONDERFUL BOOKS has been a touchstone in my life from the time I could pick up my first Dr. Seuss book. Being able to share and review books that have inspired me, entertained me, taught me lessons or simply made an impact on me, has been a large part of this website. In my mind and heart, a book that touches my life changes me forever. I carry that story, those characters and those ideas with me, and they become a part of who I am. As a lifelong bibliophile, I believe I embody Webster's definition of "a lover of books". I am a passionate, voracious reader. Like a connoisseur of fine wines, I enjoy basking in the moment of each high quality literary novel I read. My love of books has seen me through many moves throughout my childhood, my years being away in schools far from home, as a new Army wife in a foreign country, and throughout each new phase of my life. Books have been my companions, my friends, my teachers and my inspiration. I have discovered that, just as my quest for elegance and eloquence in yoga has spurred me on to keep movitated in my learning process, so has the hunt for extroardinary novels. It has been an unbridbled pleasure to be able to share what I've learned from those I have found exceptional.

From the moment I could pick up a pencil and scribble my first thoughts onto a piece of scratch paper at my little next next to my mother's, I knew I wanted to write. I had thoughts I was compelled to commit to paper. My mother and grandmother bound my first little books themselves and started me on my quest to learn how to truly express myself WRITING. Although I have never been a professional writer, it's always been my life goal to establish a career as one. I've been fortunate to have had the chance to incorporate writing into every other position I've held. As a teacher and Director of Education, I wrote and produced plays for my students, using historical events as the jumping off point. I discovered what many good teachers know: that children learn by *doing*. By acting in plays written about a specific area of significance, these students remembered what they learned because they made the play their own. Writing has also given me a philosophical and emotional outlet during both difficult times and joyful ones. By expressing myself through the written word, I've been able to share the passion I feel for meaningful subjects in my life, and I've been able to work through painful emotions during times of great stress. To quote Arthur Polotnik, "You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what's burning inside you. And we edit to let the fire show through the smoke." Writing has given me a map of my life, that I'm able to read in both directions.

And, so I feel profoundly grateful for my first 100 blog posts. I look forward to writing more, to reading more, to deepening my yoga practice. I look forward to all of the wonders that await me, and am fully prepared for the tears and laughter that lie ahead. My thanks, my best wishes and my undying appreciation for being such patient readers.

What things there are to write, if one could only write them! My mind is full of gleaming thought; gay moods and mysterious, moth-like meditations hover in my imagination, fanning their painted wings. But always the rarest, those streaked with azure and the deepest crimson, flutter away beyond my reach. ~Logan Pearsall Smith

Liberation

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask oursleves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our prescence automatically liberates others...."~ Nelson Mandela, quoting Marianne Williamson

It isn't often that I use a quote, as the foundation and inspiration for my blog posts, to be as long as the one Nelson Mandela spoke at his inagural address, as the one above. And yet, a great part of me feels that I could simply leave the quote, and allow this space to be empty. The fact is there is very little I can add to such a statement, very little enlightenment I can share and very few thoughts I can pass along to bring this sentiment's meaning with further clarity. The idea of viewing ourselves in this way is both liberating and terrifying. How can we step back and view ourselves as wonderful and meaningful creatures, filled with all the potential in the universe, when we are beset with self-doubt, weighed down by years of criticism and fear of failure? Hypothetically, it is potentially life changing to release all of those chains of bondage we wear in the place of success. And yet, we find comfort in those chains, don't we?

Most of us are comfortable with the familiar. We like to know what is expected of us. We operate well within parameters. This isn't to say we don't have moments of creative inspiration or act as mindless drones all the time. But, we tend to view the world, both our own personal one as well as the wider one, in familiar terms. Over the years we build up our chains, binding our potential and keeping us thinking of ourselves in certain, 'never altering' terms. What do I mean by chains? Surely none of us are physically bound by linked metal. Still, the ways in which we keep our potential locked up can be just as limiting as those ropes of iron. After a while we fail to notice that they even exist. Like Jacob Marley, Ebenezeer Scrooge's doomed ghost of a partner, we rattle our chains and wear them for eternity. While ours may be metaphorically, they are every bit as heavy and oppressive as Jacob Marley's. Marley came back to show Scrooge a different way...a chance to redeem himself from a life of selfishness, hard heartedness and cruelty. What is fascinating about Dickens' portrayal of Scrooge's journey is not the various ghosts that visit him, but rather, the way that Scrooge releases his fears based on past hurts of his own. We learn that Scrooge did not set out in life to be an angry, bitter, greedy man. We understand that he picked up that mantle as a method of self-presevation. He came to see his chains as a way to protect himself.

Most of us pick up our chains through very little fault of our own. We are told by teachers that we're stupid, lazy or undesirable. We internalize peer pressure to conform our very thoughts to the standards currently in vogue. We suppress our talents because experience teaches that putting ourselves 'out there', we risk immense hurt, humiliation and failure. Once we have had our hearts broken and our inadequacies are exposed, we are far more likely to don figuartive bullet proof vests, shutting out even more than chains. When we have been told 'no' enough times, we stop asking. We forget that we loved to sing, or to write, or to dance. We distance ourselves from our passions because keeping them close risks exposing our desire for them. We deny ourselves the pleasure of possibility because of the chance for frustration and defeat. As Mark Twain said, over 100 years ago, "Once a cat sits on a hot stove, he won't ever do it again. But, he also won't sit on a cold one." Like cats in fear of sitting on a hot stove, we suppress our hopes and dreams. We feel deficient and remain uncompleted.

So, what do we do next? How do take that first scary step of releasing our chains? What do we need to do to feel those hints of liberation? We must simply begin with our hearts in our throats and just do it. We take chances, create new prospects and risk embarrasment. For most of us, the fear of dreading humiliation is much worse than the mortification proves to be. We begin by asking for help from people whose talents we admire. We start by taking a stab at something new. We simply aspire to do more, to be more and to experience more than our current limitations allow. As a writer, I'm opening myself up to learning from more experienced mentors. It's terrifying. I'm afraid my mentor will tell me that I am a talentless hack. And yet, even if that's what I'm told, I feel grateful that I have the chance to even try. If the worst case scenario is being unsuccessful, then I will be no worse off than I am...always wondering. My mother once told me not to be afraid: that the worst someone can say is "no". What we all need to do, myself especially included, is to be okay with the possibility of "no", but to prepare for the chance of "yes".

In my yoga classes, I will often begin with an invitation to my students. We will focus on one area in our lives that we would like to improve. We breathe and focus all of our thoughts on achieving that hope. Then, bringing our hands, palm up, to our mouths, we blow those hopes into the universe, asking God to help us find the path that makes those hopes come to fruition. This exercise is not about opening up a fortune cookie or reading a horoscope. It's giving us a mental, tangible way to release those feelings we bind to ourselves, but also embracing the proactive approach to attaining the next step. One of my own mentors has told me that sometimes I need to get out of my own way. In sharing this with my students, not only am I passing this wise life approach forward, but I'm learning to live it as I share it. I have found the best teachers are those who are, themselves, constantly learning to be more open. I hope that, as I learn to release the bonds of insecurity and doubt that plague my own journey, both personally and professionally, I can show my students that they, too, can release...and then begin to soar.

As we meditate on Nelson Mandela's words, I hope that each of you can find one area in which to let go of your apprehension and invite in assurance that all will be well. As you do so, you may find that you encourage all those around you to do the same...or even grow beyond you. To me, the mark of a life well lived isn't what we do ourselves, but what we can inspire in others.