La Belle Époque

The past is always judged by the present. ~ Neith Boyce


When I was a young girl, I was completely enamored of the past. I wanted nothing more than to move back to a simple time of simple pleasures. This interest was mainly kindled into a fire when I read the "Little House" books by Laura Ingalls Wilder in second grade. Using couch pillows and a sheet, I created a covered wagon and tried to enlist our German Shepherd and Border Collie into being my pretend team of horses to pull it. I daydreamed about log cabins, spinning wheels and calico dresses. As I continued to read, I fell in love with Colonial Virginia, when reading a biography of Martha Washington, Ancient Egypt from"The Cat in the Mirror" by Mary Stoltz and Victorian England following my lust for Jane Austen novels. I daydreamed about Ancient Greece and Rome, through books of mythology. I imagined life in Scandinavia as I mentally sailed along with Viking raiders around the North sea. I went on a spirit journey, reading about southwestern Native American rites of passage...envisioning my life amongst the Anasazi. The current age of my childhood seemed ugly, bitter, filled with anger and too fast a pace. I longed for a more quiet life, an uncomplicated life. I imagined restraint, gentility and honor in all the times past. 


My new favorite film is "Midnight in Paris", which was written and directed  by Woody Allen. "Annie Hall" this is not. It's one man's daydreaming past into 1920's Paris...the time of Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Pablo Picasso. It was the era of the great Left Bank artists, poets, writers, musicians, designers...the time of post World War I ex-patriot "Lost Generation" great thinkers and creators. The film is brilliantly created. Each night, at precisely the same spot on a side side in Paris, at Midnight, Owen Wilson's character is picked up in a vintage car and driven into the past, where he meets all of his idols. He experiences the era with which he identifies so closely. He is desperate to be a part of this time in history, when, in his mind, life was ever so much sweeter and so much more imaginative. "Gil", Wilson's protagonist, falls in love with the beautiful Adriana...a muse to the 1920's artists. As they stroll through the Paris streets each night, Gil finds the evenings to be both sublime and transcendent. He's actually living in his dream time and can't fathom anyone else not being outrageously happy.  The pace of life, for Gil, is slower, more meaningful and far more beautiful. Adriana, on the other hand, ruminates on her own 'castle in the sky' period of history, La Belle Époque, the late 19th century until World War I. It's no wonder..."The Great War"  devastated the globe. As Gil and Adriana travel back in time to the 1880's, they come upon the famous artists of the day who dream about the Renaissance. Gil and Adriana have to decide; should each one remain in his, or her, own daydream, or return to their own present times?


The lesson of the film is quite simple: it's one thing to fantasize about the romance of the past. It is wonderful to appreciate those superlative individuals who help define an era, and help to create something completely new and original. It's quite another to run away from one's problems, one's dissatisfaction and one's melancholy by vanishing into a previous time...even if that disappearing is completely metaphorical. Each generation looks to the previous ones for inspiration and with longing. Every period in history has magically beautiful aspects to it. Yet, we forget, in our reveries, that each period in history has its own share of complications and horrors. No time has ever been perfect. Yet no time has ever been without hope. We exist, as human beings, somewhere between each of these states in our hearts and minds whenever we find ourselves living.


I continue to imagine life in past decades, in other places and spending my time in deep contrast to my present. I love to read, I adore movies and I treasure works of art and pieces of music...often from times and places different than Maine in 2012. However, the lessons I learn here and now are the ones that will create my happiness. I can take advice and admonishment from the past. But, I need to bring those into my everyday life. I find that I want to assimilate those past areas of simplicity, beauty, creativity and joie de vivre into my today, while still having a deep appreciation for the exceptional time I have the privilege of experiencing.  As romantic as Elizabethan England might seem, it's awfully nice to have running water, excellent medical care and relative safety. 


Daydreams are fun. They're a diversion from the mundane. They're a way to escape, even for a few minutes, from the stresses we are plagued with. The present, no matter how complicated and rushed, has the potential to be infinitely more wonderful than any daydream. Why? Because it's happening this very second. We can breathe the air, taste the food and hear the music. We can feel the snowflakes on our cheeks and smell tang of the ocean. As delightful as the past might seem, right now is what we're blessed with...and right now is pretty extraordinary.

Veruca Salt vs. Charlie Bucket

"But, Daddy...I want an Oompa Loompa NOW!" ~ Veruca Salt, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory


One of my all time, hands down, absolute favorite movies is the original movie rendering of Roald Dahl's book, "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory". Although I respect Tim Burton's vision of the more recent take, the original film, starring Gene Wilder, is one I can watch again and again. I know most of the lines by heart, and probably could recite everything, including singing the songs. It's a film of which I never tire. Perhaps it's because I first saw this movie at an impressionable age. But, I believe the fact is that the Willy Wonka story speaks through stereotyped characters. The protagonist of Charlie Bucket is the essence of all that is good, sweet, kind and thoughtful. The other childrens' characters represent a sampling of the Seven Deadly Sins: Augustus Gloop (Gluttony), Violet Beauregard (Pride), Mike Teevee (Sloth & Lust for television) and of course, Veruca Salt, who is the epitome of Avarice, or rather, Greed, as we say in today's culture. All the characters were on an archetypal Hero Quest. But, only worthy Charlie is deemed suitable the true victor and he who is most deserving of praise.


And yet, through most of the film, the most compelling character to me was not Charlie, who bored me, or even mad, brilliant Willy Wonka himself. It was Veruca Salt, the Empress of "I want it now", the poster child for spoil divas everywhere and the embodiment of all things Envy. I honestly believe that, in a battle of wills, Veruca Salt could "take" nearly every other fictional character. Her single minded determination to have exactly what she wanted, when she wanted it, reminds me of the financial crisis our nation is facing today: we all wanted it "now", and unfortunately, our financial situation, in a global sense, cannot support this. Instant, demanding and unrelenting personal gratification was the core of Veruca Salt's character, and it's the root issue of why so many people were living beyond their means: we were told we COULD have it now, we needed it now, and we wanted it now. There was no 'let's think about it' nor did the words "let's plan and save" come from Veruca Salt, or our consumer driven economy.


I am far from perfect in this respect. Like Veruca, and partly why I believe I identify with her on one level, is a desire that all would be well if only I had "the perfect dress" (or shoes, or sofa). This is a struggle that I've been working on for many years, and the vice over which I'm gaining mastery. It is not an easy one. Just as Charlie, with his unfailing compassion and love, represents everything I'd like be spiritually and emotionally, Veruca represents everything I need to struggle against. Gluttony hasn't been my personal 'deadly sin', nor have any of the others. My struggle has been against a greedy, needy wretch. I may think I have my internal Veruca submissive and under control, until I see a fabulous bag in the Bloomingdale's catalog and I can hear her voice in my head saying, "Ellen, I want that Chanel purse NOOOOOOOW". Thankfully, I have learned to develop tools against my inner Veruca. I have learned that, if I like something, I will like it just as much in a few weeks. If it's a passing phase I'll lose interest. I've learned to simply say "no" to that desire for possessions to make me feel exceptional. I'm struggling against still drooling over the things I admire, but I'm making excellent progress. In short, I've learned to distinguish between needs and wants. Just as our country is coming to grips with this same lesson, I'm finding that I've already fought this battle, and am learning along with everyone else.


In my yoga classes, we practice cultivating our highest selves, and being appreciative of where each of us is on our yogic journey. When I first began taking yoga classes 10 years ago, I found myself feeling frustrated that I couldn't "do" all of the asanas that more experienced students could practice with ease. I looked on with absolute avarice at students who want do a back walkover into Wheel Pose. Not only could I not move backwards into the pose, I couldn't even come into the pose the 'simple' way: by moving from the ground up. There was one student in particular on whom I looked on with unabashed envy; she was 20 years older than I was and simply eased her body into the pose as it was the simplest action in the world, while I was still struggling with holding myself in the barest hint of an inverted position. Gazing over at her with greed, I wanted what she had: I wanted to be able to move over into Wheel without effort. I kept imagining hateful things about this woman, who had never been anything but polite to me. During one class, she came over to me, and seeing that I was struggling, offered to show me how she learned to practice Wheel. I kept looking at her face, searching for an ulterior motive. I couldn't find one....I simply saw a kind person, who was showing me compassion upon watching my struggle. She taught me how to walk my hands backwards down the wall, to help stretch my back, as I drew my body down into the pose gradually. I was shame-faced. She had shown me great friendliness, and I had been nothing but Veruca Salt to her.

None of us are perfect. We all have our private (or public) demons to cast off. You may find that you see more Mike Teevee in yourself, or Augustus or Violet. Like me, you may have to battle your inner Veruca Salt. But, if we can set a goal to reach a level of pure kindness and generosity of spirit, like Charlie, we'll find that we are well on our way to being free..."if we truly wish to be".

Heaven

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." ~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, Scene V

I am a firm believer in Heaven. I can feel it with my heart and my soul and within the essence of my spirit. Although atheists may believe that the notion of Heaven is "opiate for the masses", I remain firm in my contention that there is another realm of being after this life on earth. Life is far too precious and far too short to simply end unresolved. What I've found most fascinating, after years of studying the subject, is that all religious traditions have similar beliefs in a post-life experience. The language each one uses may be different, and therefore, may lead to disagreement and confusion. However, the fact that, just as with the Great Flood, this notion exists at all in cultures around the world, leads credence to a universal, human belief and universal memory of Heaven.

In Larry Libby's wonderful children's book, "Someday Heaven", the author explores his own opinion, mixed with Christian tradition and Biblical references, about the possibilities of what lies beyond this life. When I was the Director of Education for our church, I used this extraordinary book as the basis for a unit study, as well as with my own young children when my father passed away. "Someday Heaven" paints a beautiful picture, describing Heaven in metaphors that children can relate to. Mr. Libby asks his readers to imagine having a wonderful day...the best they had ever had. He goes on to describe that feeling of having to get off your favorite swing, put your toys away and to say goodbye to your friends. He then invites us to imagine never having to say those goodbyes, never having to end a game, and never having to relinquish that delicious feeling of having the time of your life. The truly inspiring aspect of this book was how much it has touched every adult I've ever met who has read it, and been uplifted by it. When a children's book, even one on spiritual matters, can be understood at a deeper level by grown ups, I believe it has exceptional merit. The picture "Someday Heaven" paints is one of hope, of comfort and of a delightful eternity...as a "good day that lasts forever".

Painting, the art form, is often the medium that best captures different individuals' ideas about Heaven. Reubens, Da Vinci, Micheangelo, Botticelli, El Greco, Velazquez and countless others created the artistic equivalent of a snapshot of their own beliefs and opinions as to the nature of Heaven. The extraordinary Mandalas created by Buddhist monks evoke "visions of Heaven", as they envision them. The beautiful aspect of the Mandala is its circular nature: it has no beginning and no end. The images we see of Heaven are as varied as human beings themselves. Just as no two artists imagine Heaven in quite the same way, neither do no two people. We bring with us our own preconceived notions, our own imaginations and our own belief traditions. We bring with us, as we create our personal imagery, our childhood ideals, our adult concepts and our religious training. We carry forward our unique personalities and our special preferences. The artistic impression of Heaven is neither right nor wrong. It is that personal, exceptional and individual concept of Heaven that I find so captivating.

I believe no film has ever had a greater impact on me than "What Dreams May Come", starring Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding, Jr. Far from the usual Robin Williams flair for off the cuff comedy, this brilliantly and beautifully created film captures the horror of what happens in one family, and the exceptional world in which they reunite. Using one family member's paintings as the impetus for Heaven, Robin Williams takes a journey throughout the next realm to find his loved ones once again. In taking up this quest, his character comes to understand a great deal more about life on earth, about his role as husband and father and about the power of love. Buddhists might use this film to establish the concept of Enlightenment. Christians would clearly see the metaphors for how we live on Earth effecting our existence in Heaven. And yet, specific religious traditions aside, the stunning concept of stepping literally into a painting, as the basis of Robin Williams' idea of Heaven, comes closer to my own personal beliefs than any I've encountered.

The Maoris believe in levels of the afterlife, closely resembling the ideas accepted by the Hindu faith. The Jews picture the"World to Come" and the Baha'i tradition believes Heaven is an eternal alignment with God. Christian views differ greatly, depending upon the tradition of any particular school of though, but all see Heaven as an infinite existence of everlasting joy. Plato saw our world as mere shadow of the idealized, perfected world that awaits us. But, what do my own personal beliefs tell me? I believe my own conception of Heaven has been created by my own life experiences, my own tastes and sensibilities and my own hopes in what I wish to see. I do believe that I have created my own reality in how I perceive "The World to Come" with an Episcopalian twist. But, deep down, I submit that most people have probably done the same thing. For my husband, a lover of nature and especially of the steep hills and woods of New England, I see a Heaven of extraordinary trails and mountains views. For my mother, I envision an idealized Europe, full of art, music, culture and all the dogs she's ever loved welcome at every outdoor cafe. For myself, I picture a mixture of all the eternal worlds of those I love. I see myself able to travel between them all with ease. I see a magnificent English library, containing floor to ceiling books, and eternity to read them all. I imagine the world's most comfortable chairs, a roaring fire, my precious pets at my feet and a cup of perfectly brewed tea at my elbow at all times. I envision a lovely conservatory off to one side with sweeping views of the places I love best. Perhaps I will see Notre Dame Cathedral one moment, and Sugarloaf mountain the next. Maybe I will see the beautiful foothills above Santa Barbara, the canals of Venice or the bright lights of Broadway. I can just as easily picture our own quiet cove in Maine, as I can my honeymoon spot in the extraordinary Austrian Alps.

That's the amazing part of "My Blue Heaven"....it's ever changing, it's dynamic and it's unique to me. In the same way, I imagine your own Heaven to be unique to you. Regardless of whether or not one shares in my beliefs, I find the subject and idea of Heaven to be a true delight. Whether Heaven is "a good day that lasts forever", "eternal oneness with the Divine", "a peaceful way station before the World to Come" or simply another doorway, I believe each of us have our own stamp on what part of us goes on forever. For those who believe this world simply ends, and we cease to exist, that too, is a concept of closing a chapter. But, in my C.S. Lewis belief fashion, I look forward to my own journey of "Onward and Upward".

Alter Egos

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind. ~ William James

The use of an alter-ego has long been fuel for fiction, both literary and on film. Where would Batman be without Bruce Wayne? Where would Spiderman be without Peter Parker? Or, even Superman as Clark Kent? These superheroes would be mobbed, swarmed and be unable to function in society without their 'mild mannered' counterparts, masquerading as simple citizens. By having an alter-ego, living the 'normal' life, these superheroes are able to exist undetected by both friend and foe. They're able to listen to others, in the average world around them, and glean information that could prove incredibly helpful in their crime fighting efforts. They might have extraordinary powers, amazing gadgets and unique skill sets, but when it comes right down to the hard facts, being tapped into a social network has its benefits to their superhero lives.

One question has always haunted me, however: is it Superman who needs Clark Kent, or is it the other way around? When I honestly think about the fact of Superman just wanting to be a 'normal newspaper reporter', I have to smile. I imagine that Clark Kent would get awfully bored not being able to fly, not allowing himself to soar high above ground. I would be so bold as to allow myself to think that Clark Kent would not make it without Superman....and that he needs his superhero side to shine. After all...how many people really like Clark Kent just for being the 'nice guy'? Not many. I would imagine that, whatever his protests to the contrary, Clark Kent likes being Superman. He needs to be Superman. It fulfills the essential part of who he's missing. The heroic, well loved, popular, successful part of the man he wants to be *is* Superman.

A film I would have missed entirely, had I not been the mother of a 17 year old son, is "Fight Club", starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. This movie is an amazingly complex story, containing twists and turns I never could have predicted. Edward Norton's character is much like the stereotypical "Clark Kent". He's nobody memorable. He lives a dull, meaningless life and has trouble making connections with people. And yet, he meets (or rather, creates) his alter ego, played by Brad Pitt, and he befriends his other self. Where Edward Norton is soft spoken, predictable, conformist and yuppie, Brad Pitt's side of him is brash, bohemian, dangerous and free thinking. The essential aspect of this movie, the piece I found so compelling, was that the alter ego is viewed as a clearly different personification. In a brilliant bit of storytelling writer Chuck Palahniuk creates two distinct lives; both belonging to the same person. This defining difference is clearly what delineates the character of "Tyler Durden" from his fellow alter ego literary figures: Tyler Durden does not realize he is, or has, an alter ego. As Tyler Durden comes to the realization that he is living the lives of two exceptionally different men, he says, in one of my favorite quotes from the film, "People do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

The idea of having an alter ego is one that many of us have had from time to time. When I was growing up, I wanted to be Samantha from "Bewitched". I wanted to be able to twitch my nose to cast a spell to solve problems, just as she did. I imagined myself living in a beautiful home, having adorable children, but knowing that, at any moment, I could give my nose a twitch, and have an elegant meal prepared. (I never understood Darren's hatred of Samantha's magic, but that's fuel for another post). Although I can't live as a suburban mother, with a hidden talent, as Samantha did, I do find that being able to write as the Preppy Yogini does give me a hint of what that feeling must be like...to a very small extent. Writing has been my creative outlet, my homage to the people who are far more intelligent and inventive than I am. It has given me my other world to explore....that can grow above my mundane life as a mom and a yoga teacher. I will never be Superman. I will never be Tyler Durden, with an entire separate being living a fantasy life of which I could only imagine. But, I can write hoping to become the embodiment of the traits I most admire.

I understand I will never fly like Superman, twitch my nose like Samantha, or create an entirely separate existence for myself, but I can attempt to be more creative, more inspiring and more thoughtful. I can hope to be kinder, gentler and more patient. By writing, both my blogs and in my fiction work, I'm able to work through all my own short comings, and hopefully, succeed more fully as a human being. If I can write it, I can attempt to be it.

Bathtime Reflections...

"Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a warm bath and a glass of wine." ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas

There are few things in life that are more rejuvenating to me than a hot bath at the end of the day. The process of drawing the bath, choosing the aromatherapy scents for the evening, and just taking a moment to wind down can be incredibly therapeutic. I've learned that on days in which I'm particularly anxious or worried, a bath using Lavender, Jasmine or Rose oils can help me to fully relax, let go of the day's concerns and prepare for sleep. When I am overtired, and need a boost of energy, a bath containing Ginger, Peppermint or Lemon can leave me feeling refreshed, renewed and invigorated. During times that I have a cold or feel the aches of illness coming on, Eucalyptus, Hyssop and Basil have worked wonders. My time in the bath gives me those moments to reconnect body, mind and spirit. A warm bath can give one a sense of being reborn, and to step out of the tub with a renewed sense of purpose.

When my children were small, I remember bathtime having the same type of balancing effect on their personalities. Because I was blessed with two children barely two years apart, our home was a fairly chaotic one in the early years of their lives. They were precious playmates, building secret clubhouse forts with blankets and pillows. They were also adversaries, knocking over Lego creation masterpieces that the other sibling had built. They were the best of friends. They were the most bitter of foes. And yet, at the end of the day, no matter how angry my daughter might have been at having Barbie's pink VW Bug co-opted for a GI Joe battle, when the children got into the tub, began playing with boats and making 'potions' with bubbles and bowls, they were once again, peacefully united. I could always count on the fact that crying, hectic afternoons would morph into joyful, laughing evenings, thanks to bath time. The healing power of the warm bath became my safe haven, not only for my own use, but as a tired mother, who needed her children to find themselves refreshed.

Baths are far from a modern convenience. The healing power of warm water is universally accepted and lauded. Nearly every culture appreciated and cultivated the idea of bath time as being more than just a way to wash off the dirt. The Romans were masters of the bath. When we were in Italy, some of the most stunning examples of architecture we saw were those of the extraordinary Roman bath houses. These weren't place to pop in and out of for a quick cleaning. Rather, they were a social environment, as much as a healing one. The Romans created vast aqua duct and pipe systems to bring in fresh water, and heat it...decades before the modern, at home bathroom was ever conceived. Bath houses were places of commerce, places of connection, and places of time spent renewing oneself. There were bath houses for men, for women, for different social classes, and for different groups of people. But, all were treated to this vital, and positive, aspect of Roman life.

Is it any wonder that we, as human beings, find emerging from warm water to be an almost metaphysical experience? We emerge from the warm waters of our birth, and both history, mythology and religious traditions literally ooze warm water. The Greek goddess, Aphrodite, is said to have been born of the sea. In Judaism, a female convert must submerge in a Mikveh (a blessed, clean pool of water). For Orthodox Jews, women return to the Mikveh monthly as a symbol of cleanliness and renewal. Christians are 'born' by the water of baptism, as Jesus was baptized by John in the River Jordan. Muslims believe in the ritual cleansing with water, and that water is available at mosques before one may enter. Many Native American cultures used sweat lodges are a form of bath house, designed to purify the body from the inside out. The sweat lodge was a way to call forth visions, to remove all impure waters from the body, and was 'closed' by a dunk in a nearby river or lake.

For the majority of us, our evening ablutions have less to do with religion, and far more to do with unwinding. Our baths can help us feel refreshed after a day filled with activity. But, there is no reason to make our baths yet one more item to add to our "to do" list. By setting your intention for your bath to be a time of restoration, you can create your own personal sanctuary. In the fascinating film "What the bleep do we know?!", the writers suggest that our very words can change our realities, and our perspective. In one fascinating scene, a woman writes the words "Thank you" in the bottom of her bathtub. As she soaks, the woman is filled with a perspective of gratitude and well being. Whether or not our written or spoken words can physically change our state of mind, this exercise is an interesting object lesson. Our baths can, mentally and physically, improve our outlook, our health and, at the very least, our evening. Even if the manifestation of "thank you" is figurative, rather than literal, isn't it much nicer to focus our thoughts on gratitude for our lives, rather than the idiot who cut us off in rush hour traffic?

So, create your own reality by creating a special bath...fill it with warm water, a scent you can inhale with joy, and peaceful music. Author your own time of grace as you soak, and allow the craziness of your day to melt away. Even if you do not find yourself changed into a completely new being, perhaps just reconnecting with your calm inner being, can be change enough.

"What we have here is a failure to communicate..."

"What we've got here is a failure to communicate" is one of the most famous lines uttered in any movie, in any decade. It happens to come from "Cool Hand Luke", starring a young Paul Newman, in one of my favorite films. It's said, dripping with malice, by a vicious police officer to Paul Newman's character of Luke, a man determined not to be beaten down by anyone...not the prison staff, not the fellow inmates, and certainly not the local police, who overreact in sending him to prison in the first place. While this blog piece is actually not a review of the review and insight into the movie, I do suggest that readers rent this Academy Award winning film. My intent is to focus on the ideas, thoughts and semantics regarding communication.

Communication, more specifically, the art of conversation, has changed radically since the advent of the Internet and mobile phones. One of the positive side, we are able to connect with friends all over the world with ease. I have friends in Australia and Europe with whom I converse regularly, thanks to the Internet. When one of my friends lived in Japan, we were able to be a support network for her, while she was abroad. Through mediums like Facebook, I've been able to reconnect with friends from high school, college, and our own days abroad, right from home. I've had an easier time maintaining friendships with friends who once lived close by, and have moved away. I am able to talk to my mother and daughter every day, both of whom live far from me. And, yet, these useful, and helpful tools can, too often, fill the void we inherently need in our quest to 'be heard' and to 'hear others'.

I recently read that 78% of Americans use the Internet as their primary tool for conversations. I found this statistic very sad and unsettling. I certainly use and appreciate the internet's many gifts, but isn't there something truly wonderful about sitting down with a friend, in person, and enjoying a cup of coffee, a glass of wine or a mug of tea? Isn't there something missing when we can't look at that friend's expressions, hear her laugh or see his smile? When we email, AIM chat or post on Facebook, we can't see that friend's twinkle, and really know her meaning. We can't place a hand on her shoulder, give her a real hug and say "I'm here for you. I understand.". We're unable to truly sense his meaning and intent. So much of our communication, as human beings, is non-verbal. Our body language is unreadable over the Internet. We can't see someone who is clearly hiding a heartbreak, or bursting with joy. We can only attempt to extrapolate meanings from their written words.

Recently, I met my friend, Molly, for coffee. Despite the fact that Molly and I live 5 minutes apart, we both seem to run the same ragged hockey mother lifestyle. For us, the Internet has been our way of still touching base and cheering each other on, whether from home, or various hotel rooms at hockey venues. However, meeting Molly for coffee made me realize how much I miss having face to face communication more often. Online, our conversations are to the point, even if we do get a little silly. However, sitting at the coffee house, we talked in a circular fashion, with multiple strands of thought weaving around us to create a spiderweb of thoughts and ideas and sharings. I realized how utterly human it is for our most meaningful conversations not to progress from Point A to Point Z. But, rather, to meander and redirect and to walk down both the path of seriousness and joviality at the same moment. It's healthy, and it's completely necessary, to allow our conversations to drift at times...to take on lives of their own and to create new trains of thought based on these offshoots.

While I am not advocating the end of the Internet by any means, and while I don't wish to limit any one's thoughts on using this valuable resource to stay in touch, I do want to raise awareness about the need for 'real' conversation. Making eye contact, giving a warm hug and just seeing your friends face to face can truly give a lift, when you need one, and can make a difference to that friend, if she's hurting. My advice is not to allow the human element of our communications to be removed, simply because of the ease of the internet's communication tools.

Plus, it's just plain fun to laugh so loudly that people stare. Try it. It's good for the soul.

The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. ~ Anthony Robbins

Balance...with your eyes closed

Balance is a buzzword we hear every day. Women are urged to balance work, motherhood, and time for self. Men are encouraged to find the correct balance between their masculinity and their sensitive sides. Families are encouraged to discover the right balance of each member's needs and 'wants'. Magazine articles and books abound on teaching us how to find inner balance within our spirits, outer balance of juggling tasks and balance the power within our relationships. We discuss balance in economic terms, in ecological terms and even in eccentricity terms. In the extraordinary, and Oscar winning, documentary, "Man on Wire", we were treated to view the story of a dizzying, and yet, illegal, walk on wire between the Twin Towers. Still, with all of this discussion of balance, both literal and metaphorical, surrounding us, is it any wonder we so often feel "off" balance?

An exercise I enjoy employing in the yoga classes I teach is to explore simple balance poses with a twist: I ask my students to get comfortable in a simple Upward Salute on their tip toes first. We work at feeling long, empowered and strong in this asana. Then, I ask them to close their eyes. It is an amazing transformation: asking one's body to trust in how it performs without sight to gain one's bearings. It's also interesting to note my students' responses: some adore this sight deprived asana. They find it to be spiritual and profound...or at the very least, an exciting challenge. Other students do not like this exercise at all. They feel unsafe, and terrified that they will fall. Their fears are quite real, and I do respect them. As a teacher, I never ask my students to step out of the comfort zones. However, I can humbly suggest that they just give it a try, knowing they can open their eyes at any time. Sometimes facing the fear of being out of balance can help to overcome that concern.

I wish I had a great deal of wisdom to offer on balancing the many aspects of our lives in contemporary society. Unfortunately, I am a juggler, just like most people today. I believe this is one of the reason I enjoy reading about the lives of historical figures so much, as well as to read historical fiction. I understand that balancing one's personal and professional lives has always been a challenge. I find, however, that I glean more wisdom from reading biographies than I do 'self-help' books. Why? Because the stories of real people, their own struggles and their own life's work is always far more practical than listening to the "Top Ten Ways" to streamline your laundry process. Again, why? Because people's true stories are the ones that have something to teach us from experience. Pop psychology has nothing on listening to the tale of a person who, against all odds, created something magical out of nothing.

One biography that met the criteria for discovering balance, in spades, is "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson. Mr. Mortenson was a world reknowned mountain climber, and was passionate about conquering K2, the world's 2nd largest mountain. After a disheartening and unbalanced failed attempt at scaling K2, Mr. Mortenson found himself alone in rural Pakistan, injurred, starving and in need of assitance. His failure to find balance in the mountain, however, changed his life forever. He made lifelong friendships in his rescuing village, and returned to help them build a school, since Korphe was unable to fund one before. What began as personal story of balance on a peak at the top of the world, became a global story of balance as Mr. Mortenson founded an organization to help educate some of the poorest, and most desolately isolated communities on the planet. Interestingly, I found a great deal in common with Mr. Mortenson's story, as I did in reading "Seven Years in Tibet" by Heinrich Harrar, an Austrian climber who also attempted K2's peaks just prior to World War II....and whose own failure led to a lifelong friendship with the Dalai Lama. This tale was also made into a brilliant film in 1997. In both cases, what appeared to lives falling off balance, due to failed climbs, political climates and battles with personal demons, leads to greater balance, both personally and professionally.

In closing, I can only repeat words that one of my first yoga instructors told me: if you don't fall, you aren't reaching. This doesn't mean we should all strap on backpacks and head for the Himalayas. But, it does require us to allow ourselves to be off balance, with our eyes closed, to truly understand the edges of our own limits. If experience has taught me one thing, it's that we never know what our limits are unless we test them.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving." Albert Einstein

Don't let it in the house!

(Note: I originally posted this on the Clutter Club blog, but thought it would be fun to share here, as well.)

I'm a history buff, especially when it comes to pop culture. I can picture snippets from almost every decade and can easily imagine myself as a 1920's Flapper or a 1940's USO girl. But, when it comes to classic movies, I have to say that the 1950's were a great time for exploration on film. Nothing seemed to capture this moment in filmography better than the Monster Movies of the 50's. We can all easily picture James Dean and Natalie Wood from this era. But, we can just as easily envision the "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". Although I wasn't born until the mid-60's, I remember staying up to watch the "Creature Feature" on Friday night television, where these classics would be replayed. One question I always asked myself was, "Why do they let the monster in the house?"

I think we can ask the same question of ourselves about clutter. Why do we let it in the house? We try so hard to stay on top of our mess, to create an organized system and to maintain a sense of structure in our daily lives. But, we turn around, and like a monster from an old scary movie with bag masks, there it is! The Clutter Monster has snuck in again! It comes in with stacks of mail, in our carry bags from the day's events and from duplicating things we already have.

This said, I have a secret weapon against the Clutter Monster:the trash can! The best way for me to get control of clutter is not to go into the house with it. When I come home, I walk right over to the trash can in the garage. I look through my mail, and unless it's a bill or something important, I pitch it right away. (If you live in a place that recycles junk mail: Mazel Tov! Just put it into your recycling bin.) I also make a point of going through my tote bag, the car, and anything else that might make its way into the house and evaluate

it quickly. Does this really need to come inside? Is it actually trash? Unless it's something that's critical, or will need to be used soon, I will either pitch it, recycle it or put it in a 'give away' bin that I keep next to the trash can. When I go to the dump every week (for those of you who don't have curbside pick up---it's a northern New England ritual), I also stop off at the local charity shop, and drop off my give aways then.

Another great way to keep the Clutter Monster at bay is to have a "one comes in, one goes out" policy. We all have plenty of clothes, shoes, books, and other miscellaneous items in my family. I have instituted a policy of "If you buy a new one, then one like item must be given away." Not only does this help with truly thinking about 'replacement' as opposed to 'aquisition', but it's a great way to keep full closets from getting out of control. I know that if I really need a new black sweater, then one needs to go to "Heavenly Threads", the church's thrift shop. This 'one comes in, one goes out' also applies to my formerly overstocked pantry. I am blessed with a walk-in pantry the size of small room. This blessing led to overcrowding to the point that I didn't know what I had, and was buying yet another box of Rigatoni, when there were already three on the shelf that I simply couldn't see. Now, I make my food shopping lists based on what's 'going out' in the trash.

The Clutter Monster is sneaky. It likes to tiptoe in when you least expect it. But, stopping it in its tracks, by not letting it in the house in the first place, can be one way to keep clutter at bay.

When life isn't fair....

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are times that life simply isn't fair. There are days when we do everything right, when we play by the rules, when we are the 'good guys', and yet, we're thrown a curve ball that knocks us out. Sometimes these events are purely random. Other times they're brought about by people who do not wish us well. Often, these two factors come together in order to form a desperate, unfortunate or frustrating situation. We look to the stars and we wonder "Why me? Why now?". We wail, and we fret and our minds twist in complex spirals trying to reason why we were singled out for this burden. But, wrapping our thoughts around 'why' will not solve these unjust events. It's only by rising above them, by taking our eyes off the situation itself to move into view of the horizon, that we can begin to move on past wrongs done to us.

Literature and movies are filled with stories about good guys who have a series of bad things happen to them. Charles Dickens was the great master of the unfortunates in the way of life's tragedies. More recently, the Harry Potter series is an excellent metaphor for a teenage boy, just trying to figure out who he is, while having the misfortune of being hunted by malevolent beings. Harrison Ford's portrayal of Dr. Richard Kimble, in "The Fugitive", takes us on a wild chase of adventure as an innocent man runs for his life, while trying to solve his wife's murder...all while grieving her death. There is something reassuring about knowing that we are not alone in our struggles against events beyond our control. By reading about them, and watching them on screen, we understand that we have a choice to make: we can either succumb to the pain of unjust failure, or we can make the choice to triumph over whatever adversity life throws at us.

In Charles Dickens' classic novel, "Great Expectations", the tragically compelling figure of Miss Havisham, who remains in her wedding dress for the rest of her life, having been jilted at the alter decades before, is a lesson to us all as to how *not* to deal with life's severe blows. The clocks in her home are stopped. The wedding feast is allowed to rot where it was set. Alone, and bitter for eternity, Miss Havisham makes her life a prison, trapped in her own worst moment forever. If Harry Potter shows bravery in the face of unjust odds against him, then Miss Havisham is his foil. She not only gives into her unjustice, but she allows it to twist and warp her spirit into something that is itself evil.

My own family has been beset by unfair blows, several of which have come in past month. We have looked at one another, thought, "We're good people. We pay our taxes, we work hard, and we love our children. We have never cheated anyone, and we live honorable lives." But, still life circumstances gave us pause for a few days, despairing over both the unknown and the unfairness of a series of events. At that point, we began to realize that we could be stymied by the situations in our lives. Or, we could work to better them. We could allow unfair situations to destroy the lives we've worked hard to achieve, or we could teach our children not to give up. My hope is that, even if we can't overcome every obstacle in our lives' paths, we can know we've done our best to walk the path itself.

In my yoga classes, there is very little that gives me more satisfaction than seeing a student achieve an asana she didn't think she could do. I teach a variety of classes, and have a wide range of students in each of them. The most rewarding class I'm teaching right now is to teenage girls. I'm working with a special program to help these young women build up their strength in body, mind and spirit. For too long, these girls have been told that they're overweight, or stupid, or have little value to people around them. I have the honor of working with these girls, to help inspire them to remove the obstacles standing in the way of their future happiness. One of my students came in so hesitantly, I offered to just have her sit and watch class the first time. She was so unsure of herself, she didn't even want to sit on a mat. By the third class, she was moving through her sun salutations, and I could see a brightness in her smile I hadn't seen before. On the fourth class, I was able to help her into a Bow Pose. This young lady was positive she couldn't do it. But, with my help, and encouragement from others in the class, she reached back and grabbed her ankles. Later on, this young girl's mother confided in me that her daughter had been plagued by a serious lung-related illness all of her life, and was told, by a particularly harsh physican she'd never be able to 'do much'. How incredibly blessed I felt to have been a part of this girl's overcoming her own physical, and emotional, roadblocks. Life may have handed her severe asthma, and it may have beaten her self-esteem down for years, but watching the sheer joy on this girl's face allowed me a humble glimpse into overcoming odds.

Life is rarely fair. Good people get bad diseases. Nasty people often connive their way to the 'top', stomping on others to climb the ladder of success. Wretched people can malign our good name. And, children can be so lost in spirit by the age of 13, that they don't see the point of moving forward. But, at just these times, opportunity for true greatness is upon us. We may not always like the circumstances we find ourselves, but we can darn well do our best to make the conscious choice to keep going.

Cabin Fever

Global warming policies and issues aside, we are seeing record low temperatures in much of the northern states right now. As a matter of fact, arctic winds are prevailing leaving states from the Midwest to New England with temps dipping as low -40 in some places. The air is so bone chillingly frosty, that it’s almost impossible to take a full breath into our lungs without experience lung pain outdoors. For most of us, with the exception of my clueless dogs and a few hardy ice fishermen, this means more time inside. It means we'll be drinking warm beverages, cozying up to the fire, piling on extra blankets and keeping an eye on the thermostat. It can also signal preheating our cars before we leave the house and pulling as many layers as we can before we begin to resemble Stay-Puft marshmallow men.

Living in northern climates for most of my life, I've grown accustomed to making these concessions in winter. After all, people who are enjoying temps in the 70's now, will be baking in July, while here in Maine, we'll be quite comfortable. We have learned that a trade off is necessary, in order to 'enjoy' the time later. We've made the made the best of the situation, and we've become pretty good sports about it.

However, being indoors for long periods of time, can also come with it the downside of feeling blue. There are times we may feel slightly depressed or withdrawn, or simply "not like ourselves". We find that we're smiling less, and we're snarky with those we love. In short, we find ourselves with a nasty case of cabin fever. We daydream of long summer days, in which we can sit outside, far past 8 PM, still enjoying the warmth of the rays. We imagine taking off to the Caribbean, where we'll want for nothing, but some sunscreen and a rum drink, served in a pineapple. We contemplate ways to disappear inside our own homes, just for a moment of privacy.

In all honesty, while a little day dreaming can be both therapeutic and soothing, too much can lead to even more feelings of entrapment this time of year. So, how do we combat the Winter Blues? What do we do when jetting off to the Virgin Islands simply isn't an option? Obviously, for people with serious feelings of loss and depression, visiting a doctor is necessary. There are many treatments to help fight S.A.D. available now. Yet, for the rest of us, what's to be done?

Many studies have shown vigorous exercise, at least 3 times per week, can change a person's outlook remarkably. While running on icy surfaces is neither safe nor desirable (for breathing reasons, as well as prevention of slipping), many schools, YMCA's and health clubs offer indoor tracks, Elliptical machines, Stairmasters, rowing machines, and a wide range of classes to get your blood moving...and kick your endorphins into high gear. It can certainly be a challenge to get up and out, and yet, once you make this your 'vacation to yourself', you will find that your perspective can change drastically. In addition, eating plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables can also help boost your immune system, and give you a much needed burst of 'good' energy. My favorite winter foods are Risotto and Ravioli: both heavy in the starch category. I am not depriving myself of them, but just being mindful that too much starch can also trigger feelings of sadness. Also, because I teach Yoga all week long, I would have thought myself immune to the Winter Blues. I've discovered that I'm just as susceptible to these feelings of angst as the next woman...when I'm not directly practicing Yoga. My answer has been to begin running. My daughter has made me CD's to run to, and before I know it, I've done a few miles on the indoor track while embarrassingly singing to the Black Eye'd Peas.

So, if you can't fly to Mexico, and if a vacation to Hawaii is out of the question, take special care with your diet and exercise. I realize this is not rocket science nor ground breaking advice. And, yet, when we really focus on those areas we can control, it's amazing how much better we can feel. It's hard not to focus on what we can't do...feel warm, enjoy sunshine and not have to worry about the state of our snow tires. But, by using on our energy on positive outlooks during this time of year, we can make Cabin Fever somewhat less pervasive.

When all else fails, make a Pina Colada, put on some cool jazz, and watch an old DVD of "Romancing the Stone". Just make sure you make it to the gym tomorrow.

Now you've listened to my story,

Here's the point that I have made:

Chicks were born to give you fever,

Be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade.

They give you fever

When you kiss them

Fever if you live and learn

Fever! 'till you sizzle

what a lovely way to burn... Peggy Lee's immortal version of "Fever"

Gym Class Hero...

How many people went to school in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s ? I’m positive that other Generation X’ers (as we are known, in addition to the post-Baby Boomers) will remember Gym Class, before the days when it morphed into P.E. Some people will smile and remember fondly games of Dodge Ball and Capture the Flag. Others may even still have their Presidential Physical Fitness test awards proudly displayed. I have very different memories. I hated Gym. I created such a variety of made up illnesses, I’m sure my Gym Class teacher was convinced I was ready for hospice care by 9th grade. I didn’t like getting dirty. I couldn’t climb a rope. I was terrified of balls, both big and small. And, even if I had to stand in the batter’s box, I’m not sure if I ever actually connected bat to ball once in softball. Most of all, I was terrified of embarrassing myself. I knew I was not coordinated, and rather than continue to subject myself to further ridicule and humiliation, my friend Maryann and I decided to make our first political statement: we refused, “on personal grounds” to take the timed running test in 6th grade. We called ourselves “Conscientious Objectors”. In fact, we just stunk at running and didn’t want anyone to know. So, while the other kids were running circles around us, literally, Maryann and I slowly walked around the track, not even moving up to a jog, as the Gym teacher shook his head and berated us.

What I hadn’t learned, at this young age, was that no matter what other people said, I failed to challenge myself. I may have thought I was getting out of an obligation in a pseudo-cool way. In reality, I short changed myself. I failed to try because I was afraid of failure. In doing so, I received more than a low mark in that class: I received a low mark in my self-esteem because I let other people dictate how I felt about myself. I thought I’d be a bad runner, so I didn’t bother. I mocked it, and took the opposing view. Sometimes, challenges are our own measure of ourselves. We can choose to run away (or in my case, walk slowly away), or we can choose to face them head on. Other than Maryann, who is still a dear friend, I can’t think of another person in that 6th grade Gym class. So, I had nothing to lose by trying my best. And, yet, I let fear of failure hold me back.

Not long ago, I rented “The Bucket List” with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, two of my favorite actors. I had expected somewhat of a comedy about two men crossing off the most unbelievable feats of bravery from their ‘to do before I die’ list. In reality, this moving was much more heart warming and life affirming than I’d ever imagined. The most surprising experience the two men found, as they journeyed around the globe, looking for the next ‘big thing’, was the depth of their friendship. And, that wasn’t even on the list. This film taught me to look challenges square in the face, and even if I don’t make my goals, at least I will have tried, rather than mocked.

It never ceases to amaze me that life’s journey took me down the path to become a Yoga Instructor. How I went from Gym Class Wallflower to the teacher of a busy practice still baffles me. What I realized is that my own personal journey was not about climbing Mt. Everest, or standing on the Great Pyramids, but gaining in strength of body, mind and spirit. When another friend, Tammie, invited me to take a Yoga class with her almost 10 years ago, I went along to be a good sport. Little by little Yoga was able to strip away my own personal defense mechanisms of “I can’t” and “I won’t” to “I can” and “I will”. I believe that, because I came from a place, deep inside me, of deep reserve and a lack of self-confidence, I’ve been able to empower my own students to try asanas they didn’t believe they could do. Not long ago, I helped a student into her first headstand. Not only was I able to demonstrate with ease, but I was able to encourage and assist her in her own growth in her strength, and in her practice. It was far more gratifying to celebrate Alexandra’s success than my own. Why ? Because I not only faced my own fear, but I helped someone else do the same.

Challenges don’t have to be enormous, life changing events. For some people, it can be scarier to begin a conversation with a stranger than it is to go rock climbing. For others, even trying foods out of their ‘comfort zone’ can be problematic. Challenges don’t have mean bungee jumping or helicopter-skiing. Challenges mean facing something within ourselves that we would rather hide away. It’s much easier to scoff about not going to a party, than it is to cross that big room, look someone you don’t know in the eye and start talking. Yet, the only person we short change is ourselves. It’s okay not to cliff dive. But, what about taking on one challenge this coming year, and seeing if you meet it ? You don’t have to run in the Boston Marathon, but what about trying to jog around the block ? You don’t have to be the next Martha Stewart, but you can try to shake things up for dinners when company comes over. What about just inviting someone you don’t know well out for coffee ?

We all have our mountains to climb. They just appear in different forms to each of us. I wish each of you a wonderful journey as you create your own personal life list. It doesn't matter if we don't reach the top of our mountain. What matters is that we stopped scoffing, and started trying.


Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. ~Henry S. Haskins

Big

One of my favorite movies from the ‘80’s is Tom Hanks’ “Big”. His character, Josh Baskin, makes a wish on a bewitched arcade game to ‘be big’. This comes only after he, as a 12 year old boy, is given the brush off by a girl he likes, who is going on a carnival ride with a taller (and older) guy. I think many of us can relate to that feeling of anguish, and that moment in which we wish, with all of our heart and all of our soul, that our circumstances could be different. We hoped that we could wake up and magically become taller, smarter, thinner or with more curves. We wished we could run the race faster, score a winning goal or just manage to get through a day without adolescent humiliation. We long for more money, a nicer home or a ‘dream date’. We crave an instantaneous solution to our present life situation. Like Josh Baskin, we wish for an enchantment to make our heartbreak heal, and our lives perfect.

At the end of the movie, Tom Hanks’ love interest, played by Elizabeth Perkins, is invited to ‘come with him’, back to childhood. What I enjoy most about this scene is the expression on Tom Hanks’ face when she sadly says “no….I can’t go through that again…”. His character truly doesn’t understand that overcoming these trials is a part of life. No matter how big we get, there will always be someone smarter, someone wealthier or someone more talented. Part of our lives’ meaning is to learn to work through these complications and disappointments. Overcoming is rarely fun, and not often easy, but it does add to the sweetness of life. Because we learn our life lessons bit by bit, we have time to process each new step. We also have time to figure out what’s really worth worrying about. When I think back to the heartache I felt as a teenager, I wish I could go back: not to relive that part of my life, but to talk some sense into my younger self. Yet, at the same time, I know I wouldn’t have listened to ‘me’. It takes the journey to learn the lesson. And, it takes a life of learning to continue to gain insight into each new step of the journey. Just when we think we’ve made it, that we’re ‘there’, life throws us a curve ball: we graduate, we begin a new job, we get married, we become parents, our children grow up, we find ourselves with an empty nest. We become “freshmen” all over again.

In India, Ganesha is the God of Overcoming Obstacles. While I’m neither Buddhist nor Hindi, I have always found Ganesha to be a fascinating cultural study. His elephant head is clearly recognizable and adorns many places, from homes to businesses. Ganesha is not only the Remover of Obstacles but is also the God of Arts & Sciences, as well as, in Buddhist tradition, the God of letters and learning. Unlike Judeo-Christian traditions, Ganesha isn’t prayed to with the same monotheistic belief system we have here in the west. He is invited to join the seeker, as a helper, an aide and a friend. It seems to intruiging to have a God-friend who may miraculously remove the obstacles in our path. This thought makes me smile when I imagine Tom Hanks’ character going to a Hindi shrine and asking Ganesha for help, lighting incense and chanting. Does Ganesha really help those who ask him? I can’t answer that. It’s not my tradition. But, do I believe that there is a higher power who will walk with us every step of the way on our own journey, the answer is yes. He doesn’t look like an elephant. He doesn’t need elaborate rituals. I do believe that asking the God of your heart to stand with you through trying times, over hurtles in the road and during times of heartbreak is beneficial for all. But, will he magically solve all my problems ? No. But, I believe with my own heart in the right place, I walk in the direction that will bring about the most benefit.

So, if I had a wish, would it be to be young again ? Would I say “No !”, vehemently as Elizabeth Perkins did ? Would I wish myself older, and through these teen years ? I think one of the greatest experiences of my own life has been to appreciate right now for what it is. It may not be perfect. It may not always be pretty. My hair may have a little more gray, and my step might be a bit slower. But, I wouldn’t trade right now, pains and all, for anything. I appreciate how far I have come. But, more importantly, I appreciate all I have yet to do. And, I don’t want to skip over any of it. I want to experience every single moment of it. When we wish ourselvse out of the stage we're in, we're skipping over the sweetest parts; the good memories along with the bad, the sense of perspective we gain and the precious times we realize how fortunate we've been.

However, if you happen to see a Zoltan machine, make a wish. Just be careful what you wish for....

"Seek not that things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish that the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life." ~ Epictetus

"The name is Bond. James Bond."

“The name is Bond. James Bond.” I don’t think any catch phrase from any movie has had the kind of staying power that those six words--six syllables even---have had. The first James Bond picture, “Dr. No”, premiered in 1962, three and a half years before I was born. And, yet, I could probably recite the script word for word. One of my earliest memories is that of going to the drive in, in my pajamas, while my parents watched “Diamonds are forever”. I remember fixating on the idea of James Bond…whether played by Sean Connery or the newest Bond, Daniel Craig…as being the archetype for the uber cool, dangerously chic Englishman. I realize that every Bond fan has a ‘favorite Bond’, but honestly, I think each actor has made the role his own, and has stepped into the very large shoes of the very large character.

So, what is it about James Bond that makes every woman swoon, and every man want to be him? Is it the impeccable Saville Row wardrobe? Or the extraordinary cars? What about those unbelievably ‘imagineered’ gadgets that Q seems to come up with next? I believe that all of these are true, and yet, there is more to the appeal of James Bond than dapper dinner jackets, witty come backs and the latest Aston-Martin. There is the mythology of a strong man, doing his best to save the world, and coming up against incredible odds. Despite the fact that I’m a particularly “girly girl”, even I’ve always wondered how I would fare pitted some of Bond’s nemeses. I think it’s fun to imagine crossing intellectual paths with Goldfinger or testing my strength against Jaws….or even what holding a Walther PPK would feel like in my hands…and I’m pro-gun control. Because good always does prevail in Bond movies, you know that Bond will always triumph. And, through him, we can envision our own triumphs against unseen, wicked forces. It’s a very powerful feeling to be able to put yourself into a place of complete surrender to a noble cause. And, through James Bond, we can do this in our pajamas with a DVD without ever having to leave the safety of home, thanks to Netflix. Those villains can devise complicated assassinations and challenging scenarios for maximum destruction, and we can defeat them…from the safety of our local movie theatre, or even our own living rooms.

Good against evil has been the earliest told story. The snake appearing in the Garden of Eden. Cain and Abel. Pharoah and Moses. The Romans persecution of the early Christian church. But our Judeo-Christian traditions aren’t our only source for Good Vs. Evil culturally. Almost every civilization has this same theme in its roots. In South America, the ancient god Mayan Guinechen fights the evil god Guecufu in a never ending battle for the enternal safety of the universe. In ancient Persia, the Zoroastrian concept of good and evil came in the form of Ahura Mazda and his twin, Angra Mainyu. According to texts, these brothers fight for the souls, the safety and the very nature of the universe. Globally, we are human beings eager for understanding the conflict, and the concepts of good and evil. We believe that by understanding the conflict, we can overcome it. When it comes right down to it, I am just as afraid of evil as the next woman. But, I have a deep and abiding faith that all will well in the end. I believe this is one reason why James Bond has such a strong appeal. James Bond, as we know, is far from perfect, but he always triumphs, no matter how dire his circumstances appear to be.

In Yoga, one of the reasons I enjoy practicing inversions is the sense of mastery over gravity. Inversions are incredible for your body in many ways: they help improve circulation and the immune system, as well as assist in overcoming sleep disorders. Shoulder stand is an incredibly empowering pose. I try to offer it at least once a week in my classes. In shoulder stand, the yogini is required not to look to either side but straight up, against the flow of nature. One’s core strength is built, as well as one’s sense of accomplishment and confidence. Shoulder stand literally sets one apart from the usual ‘stand on your feet’ posture. It’s an overcoming of the laws of nature, as we know them, and it’s all within our control. I have to admit that the first time I attempted shoulder stand, it was not a pretty sight. My shoulders felt unbalanced, my belly felt weak and my legs began to shake. I was sure the entire class would point and laugh. But, within a very short time, I discovered this was one of my favorite asanas. Not only does it feel great for your back and core, but it always leaves you with a heady feeling of triumph. Although I’ve been practicing Yoga for many years now, I still want to come out of shoulder stand and clap in victory!

Like James Bond, we all have the possibility to accomplish "good" over a wrong in our lives. It’s unlikely we’ll need to speed away in a car chase on the French Riviera, but every day we’re presented with choices. Some are ‘small evils’…such as having that caffeine late in the day. Others are big ones…such as overcoming addiction. But, we are all faced with the inevitable consequences of our actions. How we decide to choose good will be an individual decision. And, goodness, as a choice, is not always easy. But, when you’re pressed to do what’s ‘easy’, as opposed to what’s ‘right’, imagine yourself to be James Bond: strong, powerful and able to overcome all difficult scenarios. Look deep into your character and ask yourself, “Is it right or is it wrong?” before making your decision.

And, then, hop into your Alfa Romeo and drive away into the sunset…or better yet, to see the “Quantum of Solace”.