And all shall be well...

For a number of years, I've written a blog called The Preppy Yogini. Bits and pieces of this blog have made their way into various yoga and book circles. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had The Preppy Yogini be so well received. It's been a lifeline for me in many ways. I've met some incredible people through The Preppy Yogini and it has opened doors for me in ways I never could have imagined. 


And yet, as I wrote in a piece called The Bohemian Sloth, I've felt myself stepping away from my Preppy Yogini persona. I've spent the past 15 months battling cancer, and its physical aftermath, for the second time. No longer am I a yoga instructor. No longer am I particularly preppy. It's been a time of great changes in my life...in what I can do, in what I want to do and to what I will aspire. Blessed Julian of Norwich was an anchoress in the 14th century. She was quite literally walled into Norwich Cathedral. She had two windows: one opened into the cathedral, so that she could be a part of the worship in the church. The other window was outside. It allowed her to receive food (and I'm assuming, to get rid any waste). More importantly, it allowed her to speak with people, to pray for them and to be a part of their lives. She was a mystic and a little "out there" in her theology. And yet, she was also ahead of her in many other ways. She felt God's presence as a Loving, Kind Mother. Imagine that concept in the medieval world!


While the idea of being walled up anywhere is terrifying from a claustrophobia standpoint,  I have to admit that I felt some affinity for Blessed Julian for the past year. While I've done some traveling and I have gotten out of the house, I have also been home more than ever have. I've always been a doer, a mover, a goer and a 'be right in the thick of things' kind of woman. I've worked, I've volunteered, I've gone out to lunch with friends and noodled around art museums. I have spent more time in quiet contemplation, over the past year, than ever before. It's a heady thing. I've had to learn how to simply be in peace without anyone else to entertain me. I've learned so much in the past year...most of it having to do with meditation, harmonious quiet and silent images. I'm done a great deal of praying. I've read a tremendous amount, even for a bibliophile like me. I've come to appreciate the beauty in stillness in a way I never had before. I've always been an admirer of Blessed Julian, but I've come to understand her better...even in the smallest way...to know what it's like to simply be alone.

My new blog,  And All Shall Be Well, will not be  a collection of my own life experiences and lessons from, as I had in The Preppy Yogini. It's my goal to write short essays that may be used in meditation, for inspirational reading, for prayer and for uplifting imagery. This won't be a running diary. Rather, it will simply be a tool for others to use in their quests. I like to describe myself an Episcopalian with dashes of Jewish roots and twists of Zen. I feel honored and blessed by Native American, Celtic and Norse traditions. And All Shall Be Well is most definitely written with God in mind and in heart. But, I'm hopeful that, whatever one's faith tradition, there will be illuminating pieces that will speak to many. I plan on drawing from many sources for my own inspiration.


St. Paul wrote in Philippians, "Finally, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."  It's my hope that the pictures I'll paint with my words will uplift and will be worthy to 'think on'.


(Note: I will not take down The Preppy Yogini, I've accomplished what I had hoped to..and will continue to update. But, I hope you join me as I work on And All Shall Be Well. Namaste, Peace and Thank you.)

Somewhere over the rainbow....

Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow...why, oh, why can't I?

It has never been a secret that "Somewhere over the rainbow" is one of my favorite songs. Since I was a little girl, curled up on the sofa, watching Dorothy sing in "The Wizard of Oz", as she daydreamed about a place where wishes can come true. Dorothy's impression of that place "over the rainbow" for most of us would be paradise: a place in which she could feel safe from harm, peaceful in heart, loved and protected. Her imaginings led her to believe that that her excursion to "being over the rainbow", would mean that all her troubles would disappear, and where she would be happy forever. Despite the hopeful lyrics of a song that still touches my soul, the irony about Dorothy's fairy tale land was that it didn't exist at all. Yes, Dorothy did fly over the rainbow. She did land in a place completely away from all of her troubles. But, with her voyage came her old nemesis, her old fears and a deep seated homesickness. Dorothy got her wish: she flew over the rainbow. But, in the end, it wasn't the land in which her dreams came true in the way she'd imagined.

How many times have we thought to ourselves, "If I just can have this, I'll be happy for the rest of my life?". For some, that dream of "being over the rainbow" might be the perfect job, a date with your dreamy coworker, a bigger house or a newer car. I have a friend who, for years, cut all the things she wanted out of magazines and newspapers. She pasted these pictures in a scrapbook. She'd gaze at the photos of the elegant colonial style mansion, and the luxury SUV longingly. She would "furnish" her imaginary home with designer rooms from "Elegant Homes" magazine. She would glue photos of hairstyles she liked, and celebrities whose appearance she admired. She would clip out designer outfits from "Vogue" and imagine owning a handbag that cost more than her monthly house payment. My friend called this scrapbook her 'wish book', in an homage to the old Sears catalog that used to come out at Christmas time. Her idea was that she would 'check off' each item as she acquired it. The thing is, as the months turned into years, and the years dragged on, my friend became more and more resentful that she was not checking off more items in her wish book. Her marriage suffered. Her self-esteem crumbled. The wish book became, itself, an insurmountable goal. Because she had chosen to make these unattainable items, that she couldn't be happy without, her perfectly lovely life became the wrong side of the fence. Her wish book, like Dorothy's Oz, became a place that wasn't right for her. It wasn't healthy. And, it wasn't home.

Is it wrong of us to have daydreams, then? I don't believe there is anything wrong with daydreaming. I feel that daydreams are an essential part of creativity. Without daydreams and imagination, there would be no artists, no writers, no scientists making new discoveries. Without engaging in the 'possibilities' part of our brains, we would be deprived of essential thinking skills: lateral thinking and problem solving comes from the same area in the brain that dreams (both waking and sleeping) originate from. We would be unable to solve dilemmas we had never faced before. We would not be able to appreciate traveling to new places or enjoying new experiences, since they would be out of the realm of every day experience. Creative thought is extremely helpful to our society as a whole. It's the greatest daydreamers who have given us some of the greatest accomplishments. Hippocrates, Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Isadora Duncan, Charles Dickens, Vincent Van Gogh and Susan B. Anthony were just some the world's greatest daydreamers....and each one of them made an indelible impression for generations after their lifetimes.

But, what about the rest of us? Since I'm neither a great artist, nor a gifted scientist, does daydreaming have any merit for me...an average woman? Absolutely...having a daydream can give hope to us during difficult times.Daydreams, if we can keep them in check, can be a healthy way to relieve stress. In Yoga, we often use a technique called "Guided Meditation". Also called "Guided Imagery", this is defined as "practice in which your imagination is lead on a particular journey with the purpose of achieving healing and realizations through purposeful contemplation and reflection." For many of us, even during yoga classes, it can be difficult to let go of our working mind. One Yogic school of thought calls this the human "monkey mind", always jumping from tree to tree, never focusing on where one is, but always on what's next to do. A guided imagery meditation might involve gentle music, and a teacher to help lead your thought pattern into a predictable, peaceful and nurturing space. Using our imaginations, we can close our eyes and transform a simple yoga studio into a lush tropical oasis, a breathtaking mountaintop, an illuminated night sky or, simply, the place that most says "comfort" to us. I've had many students tell me that, when I ask them to bring forth the image of the place in which they feel the safest, their grandmother's house is first on the list. Evoking the image of a special place, either real or imaginary, can help restore a panicked breath pattern to normalcy and can aid us in our quest to calm our anxieties. Guided meditation may help relieve suffering for cancer patients, women in labor, those suffering from insomnia and mild depression, as well as those who just need a method to leave 'work' at the office.

When I think about flying over the rainbow, I can't help but smile. Imagining a place in which all my dreams come true is a wonderful image. But, the fact is, we still have daily life to deal with. We still need to live in this world, as it right now, at this very moment. We still need to make practical plans for our future, appreciate the blessings we do have and solve the problems that come our way. Daydreaming about being over the rainbow can be fun and relaxing, but if it begins to interfere with one's daily life, that's when we need to establish a firm grasp on what we're evading. Do we really hate our jobs? Are our children driving us batty? Do we have too little money, and too many bills? These are real issues facing most of us. Daydreaming isn't going to solve our issues. As a matter of fact, if we daydream too much, we may find our problems to seem even more insurmountable...just as Dorothy did, when she felt she had to run away from home to keep Toto safe. By working on creative problem solving techniques to work through these issues, as best as humanly possible, our stress level may also go down. Talking about methods to combat my dilemmas with my friends has been incredibly beneficial to me. In my life, my girlfriends often 'see' answers where I am missing them.

The simple fact is, daydreaming is healthy, beautiful and wonderful. It's part of the human experience. Yet, when it comes right down to it, 'there's no place home'...even if home means a busted water heater and an unstable economy. Home can still be two things at once: our sanctuary from harm and a place that holds mountains of laundry to be washed. If we can reconcile these two places within ourselves, we can live fully in reality, but with a creative imagination.

Namaste.

(And for further inspiration, click on the TITLE..."Somewhere over the Rainbow" at the top of this post, to listen to a beautiful rendition of the song...)

Walking Meditations

One of the aspects I enjoy most about my work as a Yoga Instructor is the bringing together of Body, Mind and Spirit. I enjoy working with my students to help them in their own journeys of physical fitness and mindful inner growth. Yoga has been an incredible tool for my own life in helping to weave together these three threads of my own being. Therefore, the most wonderful part of my work is faciliating others in braiding together these three human components in their own lives. One method, in addition to Yoga practice, that has cropped up again and again in my life has been the method of "Walking Meditation" or "Prayer Walking". I have a dear friend who, as a outreach seeking Christian, attends Christian prayer walks frequently in her mission for Asia. I have another Yoga instructor friend, who has detailed her own prayer walks through the mountains. Walking meditations, I have discovered, are far more than one religious traditions method of praying or exercising. This dynamic, movement based spiritual growth technique cuts across religious beliefs, sacred traditions and personal comfort zones. There is not a right way, or a wrong way, to practice Prayer Walking. It is simply an avenue to bring together body and spirit in unity.

Carol Krucoff, in her article "A Spiritual Walk towards Fitness", writes, "Mother Theresa did it. Mahatma Ghandi did it. Spiritual teachers from John the Baptist to Martin Luther King did it. Prayer-walking, also known as "walking meditation," has been practiced by poets, philosophers and holy people from many religious traditions for centuries. Now this age-old discipline is experiencing a modern revival as stressed-out, harried Americans seek to commune with the divine while they shape up, enhancing fitness of body and soul." I love Ms. Krucoff's bringing together, so many of the great spiritual leaders of the past, and creating a relevant frame work in her review of a powerfully important book, "The Complete Guide to Prayer Walking" by Linus Mundy.

So, what exactly is prayer walking? Prayer walking can mean different things to different people. A prayer walk for some might simple be a stroll, either around one's neighborhood or on rural trails, in which we allow our minds to be open to the possibility of hearing the whispers of the Divine. It might be a time of active prayer, in which, as we walk, we pray for those in homes we pass or even for specific requests that are weighing heavy on our hearts. Praying walking can be done with a prayer 'agenda'...items in mind we'd like to pray for. Prayer walking can also be done as a way of releasing our stress, our nervous energy and our own sense of drama; by letting go of the things that are keeping us from feeling at peace, we can encounter a renewed sense of order in our lives. Prayer walking can be done alone, with a friend, or in a large group.

Sherri Ingram writes, "If you can walk and chew gum, you can walk and pray". The only things you need to bring with you on your prayer walk are a comfortable pair of walking shoes, and an open heart and mind. There are as many styles and ideas about prayer walking as there are walkers. I believe the best way to get started is to simple walk, breathing meditatively and purosely, relaxing body and mind. Intuitively, our minds will drift towards a subject, whether it's something in our own lives, or in the world, that needs our attention. I believe that, as we continue to walk and focus in on what our hearts have been drawn to, is what we need to pray about, to meditate upon or simply to release.

Since Americans spend more than 9 hours per day, on average, sitting down, and accomplishing tasks that take us outside of ourselves, prayer walking has the potential for being a simple method to combat "work related fatigue". Our bodies get tired, pudgy and achy from so much time spent seated, much of it hunched over a desk and gazing at a computer screen. Our minds get numbed to the barage of violent, sorrowful and tragic images we see on the news and by the monotony of routine. Our hearts become overwhelmed with problems we feel powerless to solve. It isn't any wonder that our bodies, minds and spirits become disconnected from one another. The Celts, the earliest Asian cultures, Native Americans and many other Ancient peoples, established prayer walks by following winding paths in a garden or through a forest...bringing the walker ever close to mindfulness. We can see find these in many parks.

But, one doesn't need a specific place to walk to reconnect. Simply by setting one's intention towards your meditative walk, by blocking out distractions (from without and from within), we can put ourselves on the path to good health once again: in body, mind and spirit.

"The best place to begin is at the beginning" ~ Scottish Proverb