Fail to plan...plan to fail.

I am the first person to admit that I am a dreadful planner. I have no idea what I need to do, where I need to go, and who I'm going to disappoint. The fact is, I tend to be a spontaneous person. I hate making reservations because it feels like a albatross laden commitment. I adore 'just happening' upon an unknown-until-now restaurant. There is something magical about the power of synchronicity that never fails to excite me. Some of the most extraordinary experiences I've had have been ones that have just been allowed to unfold on their own. I've met wonderful people, dove into brand new experiences (for which I had no time to become nervous) and experienced adventures without any sense of preparation of apprehension. I marvel at the twists and turns my paths will take, if I am open to any possibility.

While I think of myself as a free spirit, I certainly don't appear that way to others. I have a horrible feeling that, where I see a joie de vivre, others may see a carelessness. When I envision myself as extroverted and spontaneous, others may see as foolhardy and irresponsible. I have been open to exceptional adventures, simply by being in the right place at a specific moment. But, I have let others down. I have forgotten appointments, I have spaced out commitments and I have been impetuous when caution was merited. I have been disorganized, while trying to explain that my methods might "appear" to be unstructured but that there is order within the chaos. Few people actually buy that malarkey from me....and those are very close to me will call me on my lack of prior planning.

For the most part, I truly want to be more organized. I would prefer not to disappoint anyone I care about. I would love to know where every important item is when I need it. I would like to have a yearly calendar that I simply update every December for the following year. Numerous friends have tried to 'teach me' their systems but their methodology just gets lost in my creative process (otherwise known as laziness). I like to believe that I have an artistic temperament and that I need a certain amount of chaos to flourish for me to see the larger picture. I feel stifled when in the presence of someone overly regimented....such as the Queen of Order herself: Bree Van DeCamp from "Desperate Housewives". One area I find fascinating, as well as entertaining, about Bree is that the more she pulls in the reins of her scheduled perfection, the more her life begins to unravel. While I enjoy using that extreme as an example, I believe that deep down, I have a fear of the very same thing happening to me: if I structure my life, I will stifle myself and everything for which I'm responsible will fall apart.

The single area in which I have discovered the ideal balance is in my yoga classes. I teach 4 to 5 classes per week. Because I teach Ashtanga Yoga, I have created a rudimentary outline for the form the classes will take. My students find this to be extremely comforting because they are able to expect what general poses will come next. This outline also allows for a few spaces in which to 'add in' some new asanas to try. While I try to offer at least 4 new poses each month, these experimental times are still 'scheduled' within the framework of the traditions of our class. My students are able to prepare for a time to try poses that are far more challenging during these blocks, or far more restorative. We allow ourselves to be open to the possibilities that these new asanas will offer us, individually and as a group. There are some that are more successful than others...so successful that I will continue to develop our course design with these new poses to become a regular part of our day. There are others that bomb miserably, and all of us can't wait to be done with them forever.

I have begun to set more realistic goals for myself. I realize that I will never be a color coded system Mom. I may still lose track of an important paper or two. I will overlook a project I had been sure I'd get to. But, I plan on attacking my firm commitments more immediately. I believe that the sooner I am able to finish an assignment, the more quickly I will have to move onto the next train of thought I'm being pulled towards. By giving myself the idea of "no more procrastination", I may just be able to fulfill my responsibilities, while still having time to drift towards an art exhibit I was delighted to discover. Who knows? A more proactive me may still retain the same light heart.

I just hope I can remember where I left my shoes because I'm eager to get started.

Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Decluttering after vacation

(NOTE: This post was originally posted on the Clutter Club site, but I thought it might provide a practical, life skill follow up to my previous post on Vacations).

We just returned home from a wonderful vacation to the southwest. We had a fabulous, illuminating and exciting visit. We went to places we'd been to before, and we also explored new sights and sounds. With every adventure came some memorabilia, as well as some purchases we thought would help 'stimulate the economy'. Despite the fact that I tend to be a heavy handed packer to begin with, my suitcase was busting at the seams when we left. So, I'm now confronted with a big mess to bring me out of my Zen like, post holiday reverie.One of the dangers of vacation packing is the initial mess.

Like many women, I tend to over think what I bring. I tend to pack far too many pairs of shoes, and perhaps, not enough tops to cover the number of times I spill on myself. I began the vacation with clutter, I'm afraid, as I sorted through all of my warm weather possibilities for travel. These took over my room for a week before our departure, and never really were put away. Additionally, once I arrived at our first stop, I did the 'half packed suitcase, half unpacked', rather than remained one way, or the other. This not only caused a mess in our guest room, but also made it harder to find what I needed. While we were staying at my mother's beautiful home in Arizona, I ended up borrowing more from her than I used of my own clothing, partly because I couldn't find what I needed, and partly because I packed the wrong things. Finally, I made the cardinal mistake of not leaving room for purchases made while were traveling around the southwest....leaving an overstuffed suitcase beyond the point of control. Now, I have to unpack, and I'm almost afraid to open my bag, certain it will detonate from its long voyage of overstretching.This trip has taught me several things to minimize vacation clutter:

1) Pack more sensibly. Pick multi-use items that don't get dirty easily (white jeans were probably not my best choice) and comfortable shoes that can be worn with dresses, skirts and pants. When traveling to a warm location, pack items like sarongs that can be used for skirts, pool cover-ups, and even scarves in air conditioned restaurants. Don't pack clothing or accessories just because they're your favorites. Make certain that they're right for *this trip*.

2) Stick with one color palate. It's much easier to mix and match, I discovered, if you have gone with black and white, earth tones, or brights. If you get one piece dirty, you can switch it out more easily than you could if you packed pieces that will only go with one other item.

4) Pack one dressy dress...you never know if you will go out to a more elegant meal than you'd planned. I am lucky I could wear my mom's adorable little black dress.

4) Leave room for purchases! I can't stress this highly enough. With the extra bag fees, not to mention the overweight suitcase surcharges, it's much better to pack lighter on the way out, since the vast majority of us bring more home than we leave with.

Now that I'm home, I have the chore of unpacking. This can be a daunting task. It's sometimes easier to leave the packed suitcases on the floor than it is to just deal with them immediately. My advice is to leave it if you arrive home late, but tackle the first thing in the morning. Immediately sort into piles of laundry, items to put away immediately, gifts to be placed with other gifts (so they won't get lost in the shuffle) and rubbish. We all tend to bring home some actual rubbish...from shopping bags to empty allergy medicine containers, it's best to just pitch them immediately.

Finally, bring that suitcase to the basement or attic so that you don't stub your toe on it every night for two weeks.

Most of all, as you unpack and reorganize your new things in with your old, jot down memories of your trip before they are lost, and enjoy the afterglow of a lovely holiday.

Don't let it in the house!

(Note: I originally posted this on the Clutter Club blog, but thought it would be fun to share here, as well.)

I'm a history buff, especially when it comes to pop culture. I can picture snippets from almost every decade and can easily imagine myself as a 1920's Flapper or a 1940's USO girl. But, when it comes to classic movies, I have to say that the 1950's were a great time for exploration on film. Nothing seemed to capture this moment in filmography better than the Monster Movies of the 50's. We can all easily picture James Dean and Natalie Wood from this era. But, we can just as easily envision the "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". Although I wasn't born until the mid-60's, I remember staying up to watch the "Creature Feature" on Friday night television, where these classics would be replayed. One question I always asked myself was, "Why do they let the monster in the house?"

I think we can ask the same question of ourselves about clutter. Why do we let it in the house? We try so hard to stay on top of our mess, to create an organized system and to maintain a sense of structure in our daily lives. But, we turn around, and like a monster from an old scary movie with bag masks, there it is! The Clutter Monster has snuck in again! It comes in with stacks of mail, in our carry bags from the day's events and from duplicating things we already have.

This said, I have a secret weapon against the Clutter Monster:the trash can! The best way for me to get control of clutter is not to go into the house with it. When I come home, I walk right over to the trash can in the garage. I look through my mail, and unless it's a bill or something important, I pitch it right away. (If you live in a place that recycles junk mail: Mazel Tov! Just put it into your recycling bin.) I also make a point of going through my tote bag, the car, and anything else that might make its way into the house and evaluate

it quickly. Does this really need to come inside? Is it actually trash? Unless it's something that's critical, or will need to be used soon, I will either pitch it, recycle it or put it in a 'give away' bin that I keep next to the trash can. When I go to the dump every week (for those of you who don't have curbside pick up---it's a northern New England ritual), I also stop off at the local charity shop, and drop off my give aways then.

Another great way to keep the Clutter Monster at bay is to have a "one comes in, one goes out" policy. We all have plenty of clothes, shoes, books, and other miscellaneous items in my family. I have instituted a policy of "If you buy a new one, then one like item must be given away." Not only does this help with truly thinking about 'replacement' as opposed to 'aquisition', but it's a great way to keep full closets from getting out of control. I know that if I really need a new black sweater, then one needs to go to "Heavenly Threads", the church's thrift shop. This 'one comes in, one goes out' also applies to my formerly overstocked pantry. I am blessed with a walk-in pantry the size of small room. This blessing led to overcrowding to the point that I didn't know what I had, and was buying yet another box of Rigatoni, when there were already three on the shelf that I simply couldn't see. Now, I make my food shopping lists based on what's 'going out' in the trash.

The Clutter Monster is sneaky. It likes to tiptoe in when you least expect it. But, stopping it in its tracks, by not letting it in the house in the first place, can be one way to keep clutter at bay.

Keep, Sell, Give

As I begin the process of decluttering our house, I realize that it’s not always an easy process. I look at a room, or even a corner, and I get overwhelmed, not knowing where to begin. Using the tricks of the trade from HGTV’s show, “Mission Organization”, I’m beginning by using the process of KSG. It’s not a secret Russian spy organization, but an acronym for “Keep, Sell, Give”. As I go through a space the first time, I immediately out anything that’s trash. That’s the first part of sorting. If something is broken, missing parts, cracked, chipped or otherwise useless, it goes straight to the rubbish or recycling bins. Then, comes the tricky part: how do I decide what to do with the rest ?

The first letter in the acronym, K, is my husband’s favorite of this trio of organizational tools: Keep. The terrific guy I’ve shared my life with for more than two decades is a pack rat. He is descended from a long and proud line of pack rats. As my husband grew up, nothing that was salvageable was ever gotten rid of. Things could be fixed, reused, stored and pulled out ‘just in case’. I have to say that a part of me admires this recycling attitude because nothing ever goes to waste. The problem becomes when the saved items overgrow your house and take over your barn (or your attic or your basement). Even if they’re organized into a somewhat cohesive way, if we really want to cut down on the stuff that we have, even ‘tidy junk’ is still junk. So, I ask myself, and my beloved, these questions “Will we ever use it again?”, “When?” and “Why?”. Most of the time, these are easy questions to figure out. But, if you find yourself wondering why you possibly need 22 fleece blankets, with various logos on them, or four sets of china dinnerware, you may want to move onto purging those items that would be wonderful and helpful….to someone else in their house.

The next letter is S: for Sell. Most of us have items that we simply don’t use, but do have intrinsic value to them. If you have collectibles or other pieces of value, make sure you get an appraisal from a dealer, or really research your item’s value. It’s only in very rare cases that the average family has items that should be sold through a dealer. Having a lawn sale, posting items in classifieds (such as Craig’s list) or selling them on eBay can help you weed out, while you make some money in the process. It’s not likely you will get full purchase price back, but in my humble opinion, something that is sitting, unused in a basement or cabinet, is not making any better of a return. So, price your items wisely, but to sell. You can use the money you make to pay off debt, plan a trip, or buy organizational equipment for the items you’ve kept.

Finally, we come to G: Give...the aspect closest to my heart. Not everyone needs a set of leaded crystal wine glasses or a porcelain figurine. But, everyone needs shoes, warm coats, clothing in reasonable good shape, and yes, those fleece blankets. Even used, but still serviceable, furniture, lamps and kitchen equipment can go to a home where people have lost everything. There is so much need in our world. There are single mothers who have fled from dangerous homes. There are families displaced by natural disasters. There are those who simply need a way to help themselves. I truly believe that it’s selfish to hoard items we honestly don’t need when there are simple ways we can donate them to those who truly do. So, get that old sofa out of the basement, and donate it to Goodwill. Go through your clothing, and especially, your children’s clothing, and donate to an organization like Planet Aid. Many local churches and community centers also run programs in conjunction with Habitat for Humanity and Dress for Success, and can directly aid local families with your donations. So, think of decluttering as a form of loving your neighbor, too. It's with yoga's open sense to the needs of others, that you can give these items away, and feel positive about your choice to do so.

With the KSG acronym in mind, you can’t fail. Look at the big picture of your home. Then, look at one room. Then look at one corner. By focusing on each of these means to better take control of your home, you will be able to start fresh…and not end up running in circles. With the trash gone first, you can best evaluate the rest of your problem areas. Once your sell and give piles are taken care of, you can focus on organizing the keep items. It's amazing how much space you will find when you get rid of the things you simply don't need.

"Mom, I can't find my shoes!" "Did you look in your closet?" ~ My house on a daily basis

De-clutter and discover

Like many families, my husband and I have made a goal to become more organized in the year ahead. We want to create a streamlined system in our house, in which we can find exactly what we need at a moment’s notice. We want to open our closets without being attacked by sporting equipment and old coats. We want to be able to have drop in guests arrive without our frantically storing miscellaneous ‘piles’ in boxes, hidden away. We want to clean sweep our home, and make sure that we’re efficient, organized, tidy and attractive…at any moment. It’s a noble goal, isn’t it ?

Unfortunately, this goal just isn’t as easy as it sounds. We have far too much ‘stuff’. Even though we’ve been married for more than 20 years, and have two children, and three pets, it seems as if we have enough stuff to last a lifetime, and yet, I can’t seem to fathom where it all came from! The first step in our reorganization has been to really take a critical look at what we have and why we have it. It’s much easier to be organized if there is a place for everything. And, it’s much easier to create a place for everything without clutter. I’m a purger…I am happy to create bags of items for the next yard sale, or to donate to our church’s thrift shop. Jeff is a self-described pack rat. He would keep everything, except for trash, if he could fit it into our basement. I’ve learned that some of the things Jeff’s salvaged from my “we don’t need this !” pile have come in handy, and he’s come to see the light that perhaps we don’t need a dozen out of date lamps on the cellar shelves. We’ve learned to appreciate one another’s strengths, and areas of weakness, as we move on with this project. TV shows like “Clean House” and “Mission Organization” have been great inspiration and sources for ideas.

For my Christmas present, Jeff built me custom shelving for the dining room cupboards. I now have plate racks that I can hold all my platters and service pieces upright upon. And, I see them, and reach for them without risking my life each time I try to get one out. I had thought I had too many, and yet, now that they’re organized, I see that each one has a special use. It’s much easier to use what I have (and not want to buy yet another dish) when I can see it. It’s almost like Christmas every morning when I open my cupboard now, as I rediscover what I already own, and am thrilled to see them. We hope to have this same kind of clean sweep and organizational approach beyond the dining room. We want to stay on top of smaller budget. We want to keep clutter from accumulating daily in the front hall. We want to feel more in control of our home, and all that’s in it.

Getting a handle on clutter and organization isn’t just about our homes. Of course, discovering my laundry room has a floor has been a fantastic expedition. But, in truth, we all need to focus on decluttering our minds and spirits too. Far too often, we let our thoughts, our hearts and our concerns rest on things that don’t really matter in the long run. We worry about what the neighbors will think if the dog gets out again. We worry that our children won’t get into a good enough college. We worry that our guests won’t like what we’ve cooked. We worry that we are alone in the world. The fact is, none of these things can be changed by worrying. I love the way Jesus puts this in the Gospel of Matthew “Can any of you add a single hour to the length of your life by worrying?”. The Dalai Lama also wrote “If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good.” The wisdom from both of these teachers is compelling.

Yet as a worrier, I have a hard time focusing on what truly matters, at times. It’s hard to focus on what I can do, when my thoughts are so filled with overwhelming thoughts of what I can’t do. So, what to do next ? Practicing breathing meditation can help. Sitting and taking time to be fully relaxed and completely at peace, each day, can create ‘space’ in your mind. Additionally, I use mantras and imagery to create positive pathways of good thoughts. When I fill my mind with worry, there is no room to create beauty. When I open up space by practicing Yoga, by reading, by volunteering in the community and by helping others, I find that the clutter problem in my mind seems to solve itself. I am learning to place my concerns in their own compartments, without letting take over, making my thoughts a big mess. It’s all about creating space…and just as we can create space in our laundry rooms, we can create it in our hearts and minds, as well. One book I found to be incredibly helpful in this is Sarah Ban Breathnach’s “Romancing the Ordinary”. I hope you will also find it to be a wonderful companion on your journey. The author has an amazing way of cutting through the clutter of every day "outer" life, so that we have the time, space and energy to create a beautiful inner life.

So, go forth and de-clutter ! You never know what you may find when you have the space to see it.