Vacation

What a wonderful word that is: Vacation. It evokes time away from routine to explore new cities, lie on breathtaking beaches, investigate new cultures or simply bring a break in routine. Vacations can give us a much needed respite from the doldrums of everyday existence. We can be someone else for a few little while, even if that someone else is simply a more relaxed version of ourselves. Or, we can try on a completely new persona: a carefree one, if we’re normally regimented or an adventurous one, if we’re normally cautious. We can slip out of our schedules and into letting the moment take us where it will. That said, if we tend to be more artistic and flexible, taking a tour in which our sightseeing is planned for us can also bring us a much needed sense of order, without having to be organized. In short: vacation is time to just restore, recharge and renew our internal batteries.

The key to a successful vacation is finding what works for you, and not trying too hard to 'work' at having fun. For me, being a natural sloth, my native environment is lying on deck chair, enjoying the fresh air, and simply allowing myself time off the hamster wheel of life. Because my state of relaxation is simply removing all stresses, I am very easy to please on my time of vacation: I simply need to take time to look inward, to rest and to feel at peace. My husband, on the other hand, is a natural explorer. He can lie by a pool with me for a day. But, his adventurous spirit gets bored easily. So, we have learned to find places that are relaxing for him, also: with mountains to climb, golf courses to conquer and interesting locales to to investigate. Restless spirits can be renewed and strengthened by seeing new places and expending energy. This doesn't mean that one hasn't relaxed. It's simply a different method of allowing one's brain to shift from technology to terrain.

Unfortunately, with the economy being in its current complex and scary state, many people are finding their vacations budgets have vanished and are investigating a new phenomenon: the "stay-cation". Using up vacation days at work doesn't mean only tackling cleaning out the basement. It can still provide you with a wonderful opportunity to explore your hometown and the neighboring region. I'm always amazed at the amount of incredible things to see and do in our hometown...and we never scratch the surface. We are so busy living our fast paced existence that we don't take the time to go hike in the state park, peruse the local museums or even pitch a tent to camp on the lawn. When we live in a community, we often have blinders on to all our towns and cities have to offer. So, why not turn off your phone (as you would on vacation out of town), have the post office hold your mail, and go exploring in your own backyard? You may find a wonderful vacation is waiting for you: at home.

As long as you commit to relaxation, whether you travel abroad, or stay put, finding ways to refresh and renew yourself can be endless. It can be extremely difficult, in our 'always plugged in' culture to let go. We can feel guilty, undeserving, or just afraid we'll miss a vital moment. But, the truth is, we all need to take to explore, to see new sights and to experience a break in routine. Let go of the guilt, of the yearning to check your email one more time, and of your need to control every moment. Just allow yourself the freedom to 'be'. You will find yourself more conscious in your decision making when you come back, and you will also appreciate your home even more.

Whether you head to a spa, a ski resort, or the big city, make sure that you don't just stop in at the same chain restaurants you would at home. Allow yourself the experience of soaking in local flavors, literally. During your staycation, why not try new recipes that will evoke thoughts of time in Mexico or Paris? You never know what will happen when you allow your taste buds to explore on vacation too. Most of all: relax. You deserve it.

Every man who possibly can should force himself to a holiday of a full month in a year, whether he feels like taking it or not. ~ William Joyce

I believe...

This is one of those email questionaires that goes around...but I liked it because it requires the responder to really look into her heart and not just ask which kind of peanut butter she prefers. So, please feel free to read on and create your own. I hope it stimulates great conversations!

I BELIEVE….

(Create 25 true statements about yourself and your life, and what you believe. Share with your friends, ask them to do the same, and learn more about one another. )

1. I believe that I’m far more comfortable with myself; body, mind and spirit, than I was at 16.

2. I believe that I learn more about the world around me every day, and the more I learn, the more I want to know. I realize how ignorant I have been, and am excited about the prospect of lifelong learning.

3. I believe a woman is more beautiful after she becomes a mother. Tiredness is one thing, but a loving glow is quite another.

4. I believe we have a great deal to learn from our children, if we only take the time to listen. And yet, there are times that I believe it’s perfectly reasonable to say “Because I said so.”

5. I believe in true love but that true love doesn’t come without obstacles. It’s the overcoming of those obstacles that deepen love, not diminish it.

6. I believe that sunshine and fresh air are vital to good health but also that the energy of a city is invigorating.

7. I believe that the arts are critical to the soul. Music, painting, theatre, sculpture all speak to a little used part of the brain in too many people. I also believe that schools removing arts programs will see children lack the ability to think creatively and laterally about logical problems.

8. I believe deeply in God, and that compassion, tolerance and a loving heart are the root of my faith. I do not believe that God excludes.

9. I believe that caring for animals is a window into

a person’s psyche. If a person hates dogs, it’s unlikely I will feel comfortable in her presence or that she will be a true friend to me.

10. I believe in moderation; sunning oneself, chocolate, a glass of wine and other small gifts are meant to enjoyed. Life is too short to deny oneself. However, when overused, these small joys will lose their power to bring joy.

11. I believe in smiling at everyone I meet and making eye contact. I believe in good manners, especially in saying “please” and “thank you”.

12. I believe that laughter until you cry is a vital form of expression.

13. I believe in the power of a cup of a tea and a friendly ear.

14. I believe in singing Christmas carols the entire month of December.

15. I believe in saying “I don’t know” when I am unsure, as well as “I need help”.

16. I believe in never taking one’s health for granted....and in finding ways to improve our health. This is meant as a gift to ourselves and shouldn't be thought of as punishment.

17. I believe in reading good books that will inspire me, as well the fact that books are meant to be shared. A good book sitting on a shelf, never to be read again is not a collection. But, a book grows with the sharing of it.

18. I believe I will never be a good gardener, and that I lack the basic gene to make things grow, but that I can appreciate beautiful gardens in other people’s yards. I am completely okay with that.

19. I believe in travel. The power of seeing new places, being open to new experiences, and not just surrounding oneself with the familiar (even away) is life affirming.

20. I believe in freshly baked bread and think Dr. Atkins must be a sad, sad man.

21. I believe everyone should be able to cook 3 delicious meals, even if you aren’t a great cook. It’s easy to stick to three foolproof meals when entertaining. I also believe that experimentation with cooking can go horribly wrong, and that it’s okay to say “Sorry ! Let’s order in!” when things go awry.

22. I believe in warm, fresh, clean sheets to get into bed every night, and my own special pillow.

23. I believe that there can be lessons to learn from people, even if we disagree with them.

24. I believe in destiny and I also believe that even our mistakes can lead us to where we're ultimately meant to be.

25. I believe in counting my blessings every night before I go to sleep, and every morning when I wake up…because no matter how crazy the world may seem, I have been truly fortunate.

Forever in Blue Jeans

Money talks, But it don't sing and dance And it can't walk. As long as I can have you here with me, I'd much rather be Forever in blue jeans. ~ Neil Diamond

Every now and then, I will find myself humming the above referenced Neil Diamond song. While Mr. Diamond was popular before I really came of age, I have to admit to being a fan of his music. Yet, "Forever in Blue Jeans" represents a a life philosophy so close to my heart that the words are completely embedded in my soul and in my closet. I am, most assuredly, a jeans woman. I love my jeans. I dress them up with heels and fancy tops and jewelry. I dress them down with Uggs and cozy sweaters. I wore jeans to take my children to the park when they were little, and to have coffee with friends, as we laughed and cried together. Jeans are my wardrobe mainstay and I'd be lost with my access to Lucky Jeans stores.

However, jeans aren't just about what I put on my body. It is true that many women would rather find their perfect fitting pair of jeans---that maximizes their assets and camoflagues their faults---than they would to find a good date for a Saturday night. The perfect jeans, that fit as if they were made specifically for you are the Holy Grail of the shopping world. And, when we discover that magical pair that posesses all the alchemical possibilities to make us feel tall, slim and beautiful, we reach a state of shopping Nirvana. Yet, the attitude behind a jeans-based wardrobe and life philosophy is not materialistic, once you find your denim soulmate.

Having a favorite pair of jeans, and living in them throughout your daily life, can say a great deal about your life philosophy. As opposed to wearing the Little Black Dress or the Business Suit, wearing jeans can show the world that you believe in comfort, in freedom and in dressing to please yourself, not others. Perfectly worn in jeans can mean that you aren't a slave to fashion, but prefer to set your own standards. Will Rogers once said, "I don't feel comfortable any place my dog and my blue jeans aren't welcome." I adore this sentiment and agree with it wholeheartedly. Wearing jeans can mean that you are down to Earth, believe in an open heart and a personality that says "I am comfortable with who I am, and I don't need to dress up in a costume to pretend to be myself."

This, of course, doesn't mean that we should only wear jeans, and never wear anything else. I do not mean to imply that people who aren't comfortable wearing jeans are in any way less evolved than people who do. But, I can say that there was a time in my life in which I simply couldn't wear jeans and feel at home. I felt the need to "dress up" for no apparent reason, and did not feel put together unless I was wearing clothing that said "Elegant at all times". Wearing jeans I felt heavy, messy and unkempt. What I came to discover about myself was that, in jeans, I was not heavy, messy or unkempt, except in my own mind and heart. I learned that I didn't need to wear a designer outfit every day simply to present a good face to the world. What I needed to do was to excavate my soul and find the same degree of confidence and peace in my spirit, whether I'm wearing denim jeans or a silk dress. Denim whispers and says "There you are!" to those around you. Silk shouts, "Here I am !". My father, every bit as wise as Will Rogers, once to urged me to be the kind of woman who says "There you are!" to those around me. Denim can mean looking outside our own insecurities and foibles because we completely at peace with our walk on the journey. In being comfortable with our own path, we can better help others by being the kind of person who listens before she speaks.

So, wear your jeans with pride....be the kind of approachable person with whom others feel comfortable. But, most of all, find comfort within yourself, knowing that you have nothing prove, except your own level of peaceful confidence.

And, when you do find that magical pair of jeans that flatters from every angle, buy three pair.

Exhaustion: a cultural phenomenon

In this uber-intensive age of multi-tasking, our bodies and minds are being asked to become more productive, more animated and more enlightened with every moment. We are pushing ourselves to create, to think laterally and to expand upon our abilities and talents. We are learning new technologies every day to help us more productively use our time. We are also learning new ways to waste time, using these very same technologies. We are scheduled, we are regimented and we are using every possible moment to our best advantage. Even our cars are places of 'work' now....we can use Blackberries to remain in touch with those who need information even on our drives. We have learned that we can, and must, balance relationships, parenting, career and self-improvement.

And, yet, are we happier? Are we wiser, more in tune with our authentic selves and our environment? We are closer to those we care about emotionally, simply because we can always reach them by computer or cell? Lastly, are we better off in this state of constant, frenzied productivity? Unfortunately, I believe many of us are on overload. Just as an overloaded boat will begin to sink into the water, so will an overloaded mind and body. Marshall MacLuhan wrote, "One of the effects of living with electric information is that we live habitually in a state of information overload. There's always more than you can cope with." So, what happens to us when we hit this overload or information, work, and trying to meet the needs of those around us? The answer is exhaustion.

Our bodies are a good indication of our minds. With too much information flying around our brains, our bodies can be a reflection of the strained minds many of us feel. This can be felt by an utter sense of tiredness.We can find ourselves barely keeping our eyes open at work or school. Young people are not immune to this psychological exhuastion. They are being asked to produce more, take in more stimulation and sensory overload than in any other time in history. Young and old alike are finding suppressed immune systems (leading to poor health), physical weariness and less ability to concentrate on our many tasks at hand.

The answer to this intense level of fatigue, both physical and mental, is rest. In our 'go, go, go!' culture, this isn't a simple feat. It's challenging to disentangle ourselves from our technology. It's tough to ignore voice mail, requests for our time and email. We are completely immersed in our frantic level of busy-ness, and yet, the urge to 'just check email one more time' before resting can be powerful. As tired as we are, we find ourselves addicted to the level of energy we have expended. We know we need to rest, to take time away from our vigorous lives, and yet we find ourselves compulsively drawn back to the very source of our exhaustion.

Initially, "letting go" feels like "work". We find ourselves working very hard at relaxing. This is truly a contradiction in terms, and yet, as we fight any addiction, this process can be a 'one step forward, two steps back' scenario, in the beginning of our journey to take charge of our exhaustion. Even if it means hiding your cell phone, locking up your laptop or placing the keys to the car in the freezer, it's crucial that we take the steps necessary to give our minds, bodies and spirits the chance to recharge. Just as the batteries in those very laptops must be recharged in order to operate at full capacity, so must our minds and bodies.

For some people, taking a restorative Yoga class can be a wonderful method of 'learning to relax'. Because a class is a task that can be put on our schedules, it's a good beginning for those of us who have a challenging time creating a relaxing atmosphere at home. For the 60 minutes per class, all electronic devices must be left outside the door, and with them, the mental connections to all that is pulling us away from truly letting go of the sources of our stress. During a restorative Yoga class, many instructors, myself included, will ask our students to practice inversions, such as Legs Up the Wall pose. Supported inversions have been proven to quickly reduce stress and fatigue, can assist in combatting stress induced insomnia, and can stimulate one's immune system for better health. A wise yoga instructor of mine once told our class that we spend an average of 16 hours per day in an upright position. By practicing relaxed inversions, we reverse the blood flow in our circulatory systems and can help to extend our wellness, and our very lives, by allowing our bodies the opportunities to flip that process around....quite literally. When we are overtired, we can't sleep well, and we have a difficult time turning off our thoughts. By practicing supported inversions regularly, we may find that we are more equipped with the tools we need to restore our bodies to the balance they need.

Whatever your preferred relaxation method may be, I encourage you to find time every day to allow yourself to be restored. Just as we need to reboot a computer, we need to reboot our minds, bodies and spirits. Rest is not laziness. Rest is a critical part of our bodies' methods for healing ourselves. No matter how productive you may be, by creating true, honest and deep relaxation, we will be better equipped to handle all unexpected circumstances that life can toss us. Our critical thinking skills will improve, our attitude will be more positive and our bodies will be healthier.

So, unplug the phone, turn off your cell, hide your keys and log off from your computer. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, allow your mind to focus on absolutely nothing but your breath. Your entire self will thank you for it, as will your coworkers and your family. Being restored is far more likely to endear you to all you know than being exhausted will.

Change of Venue

With the 2010 Winter Olympic games less than a year away, the excitement is building in my home of hockey, skiing and other winter sport enthusiasts. Having just "completed" the 2008 Olympic experience, watching the games from Beijing, it seems that everyone loves use the Olympic sports broadcaster's favorite line, in their arsenal of expressions: "the change of venue". Honestly, I can't remember which games I first heard the announcers begin to use this term in their everyday vernacular. It became a bit of a joke in my home, as overused as the expression was. What about change in location, event, stage, locale, area, vicinity, space, neighborhood, spot, home or even 'neck of the woods'? Just as we know the Olympic anthem of trumpets sounding, we know that "change of venue" is here to stay.


Despite the anchors at the Olympic news desks overuse of the term, it's actually not a bad thought. Changing one's place can be a tremendous boon. In my Yoga classes, I often ask my students to move their mats to different positions in the room. This keeps students (and myself) from getting into a rut of behavior patterns. It's amazing to teach with regular students in new spaces in the room. For those students who normally arrange themselves in the back, they often find class is a new experience moving up front. Conversely, students who are normally right next to me, find that moving to the back of the room can also bring their practice more personal and internal, rather than keeping an eye on everything that I'm doing. Today, I had the blessing of being able to teach in a completely different building. Only half my regular students came, which was unfortunate. Our temporary space was beautiful and had a lovely view of the waterfall on the river. Yet, some people just do not feel comfortable with change, even temporarily.


Change is very important to our continuing development. Some people embrace change in all areas of their lives. They love to move, and create new lives in new places. I had friends that moved houses 4 times in 8 years....not because of work, financial or family related needs, but because they genuinely found the creation of new homes to be invigorating and exciting. I know others who have lived in the same place nearly all of their lives. They eat in the same restaurants, and they take the same vacations. They have enormous comfort in their safe zones, and this gives them the satisfaction of knowing where they will always be. And yet, I can't help but wonder if these people are selling their lives short by not experiencing something, to quote Monty Python, "completely different".


Change is good for the soul. While we need routines to help flesh out the framework of our every day lives, little changes can bring about vast implications. Routine is important to help us pay our bills on time, get to work and take care of our basic needs. But, beyond that, looking for a bit of adventure can bring us a sense of freshness to the ordinariness of life. If you normally only read one genre of book, or watch one genre of movie, how about exchanging your chick lit for a bit of a spy thriller? If you only run on the treadmill, what about heading outside for a run on the road? If you typically eat rice or pasta, how about trying something new, such as couscous or polenta? There are small changes we can make to broaden our perspectives that aren't a life altering commitment. The fact is, if you don't like the 'new thing', you can always change back to the old way.


Changes can also be brought about in larger ways than the food we eat or the movie we watch. If you have extra time on your hands, and tend to use that in your home, how about making a one time volunteer commitment? You could volunteer at a library, an elder care center or at an animal shelter. You could serve a meal at a soup kitchen or work in a food pantry. You can mentor a young person or read to someone whose eyesight is failing. Just by changing the use of our own time, even if we can't commit to it regularly, can change your own life, and that of someone else.

One of the most important aspects of change is simply being open to it. In our very quickly changing world, it's also vital to our well being to find the adaptive nature that lies within each of us. Resistance to change can bring about great harm to our bodies, minds and spirits. While we don't need to embrace every fad that's out there, being open to new possibilities, new locations and new ways of being can both powerful and necessary. And, if changing your venue helps you to be open to other changes in life, ride the journey out and see where it takes you.

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful, it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful, it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident, it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. ~~ King Whitney Jr.

Balance...with your eyes closed

Balance is a buzzword we hear every day. Women are urged to balance work, motherhood, and time for self. Men are encouraged to find the correct balance between their masculinity and their sensitive sides. Families are encouraged to discover the right balance of each member's needs and 'wants'. Magazine articles and books abound on teaching us how to find inner balance within our spirits, outer balance of juggling tasks and balance the power within our relationships. We discuss balance in economic terms, in ecological terms and even in eccentricity terms. In the extraordinary, and Oscar winning, documentary, "Man on Wire", we were treated to view the story of a dizzying, and yet, illegal, walk on wire between the Twin Towers. Still, with all of this discussion of balance, both literal and metaphorical, surrounding us, is it any wonder we so often feel "off" balance?

An exercise I enjoy employing in the yoga classes I teach is to explore simple balance poses with a twist: I ask my students to get comfortable in a simple Upward Salute on their tip toes first. We work at feeling long, empowered and strong in this asana. Then, I ask them to close their eyes. It is an amazing transformation: asking one's body to trust in how it performs without sight to gain one's bearings. It's also interesting to note my students' responses: some adore this sight deprived asana. They find it to be spiritual and profound...or at the very least, an exciting challenge. Other students do not like this exercise at all. They feel unsafe, and terrified that they will fall. Their fears are quite real, and I do respect them. As a teacher, I never ask my students to step out of the comfort zones. However, I can humbly suggest that they just give it a try, knowing they can open their eyes at any time. Sometimes facing the fear of being out of balance can help to overcome that concern.

I wish I had a great deal of wisdom to offer on balancing the many aspects of our lives in contemporary society. Unfortunately, I am a juggler, just like most people today. I believe this is one of the reason I enjoy reading about the lives of historical figures so much, as well as to read historical fiction. I understand that balancing one's personal and professional lives has always been a challenge. I find, however, that I glean more wisdom from reading biographies than I do 'self-help' books. Why? Because the stories of real people, their own struggles and their own life's work is always far more practical than listening to the "Top Ten Ways" to streamline your laundry process. Again, why? Because people's true stories are the ones that have something to teach us from experience. Pop psychology has nothing on listening to the tale of a person who, against all odds, created something magical out of nothing.

One biography that met the criteria for discovering balance, in spades, is "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson. Mr. Mortenson was a world reknowned mountain climber, and was passionate about conquering K2, the world's 2nd largest mountain. After a disheartening and unbalanced failed attempt at scaling K2, Mr. Mortenson found himself alone in rural Pakistan, injurred, starving and in need of assitance. His failure to find balance in the mountain, however, changed his life forever. He made lifelong friendships in his rescuing village, and returned to help them build a school, since Korphe was unable to fund one before. What began as personal story of balance on a peak at the top of the world, became a global story of balance as Mr. Mortenson founded an organization to help educate some of the poorest, and most desolately isolated communities on the planet. Interestingly, I found a great deal in common with Mr. Mortenson's story, as I did in reading "Seven Years in Tibet" by Heinrich Harrar, an Austrian climber who also attempted K2's peaks just prior to World War II....and whose own failure led to a lifelong friendship with the Dalai Lama. This tale was also made into a brilliant film in 1997. In both cases, what appeared to lives falling off balance, due to failed climbs, political climates and battles with personal demons, leads to greater balance, both personally and professionally.

In closing, I can only repeat words that one of my first yoga instructors told me: if you don't fall, you aren't reaching. This doesn't mean we should all strap on backpacks and head for the Himalayas. But, it does require us to allow ourselves to be off balance, with our eyes closed, to truly understand the edges of our own limits. If experience has taught me one thing, it's that we never know what our limits are unless we test them.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving." Albert Einstein

The Name Game

During the time between the rebellious 1960's and the "Greed is good" culture of the 1980's, the 1970's remained an odd enigma in history. The decade encompassed the "Free to be Me" element it gained from the previous 10 years, and was beginning to show the "It's all about Me" narcissim of the following decade. In junior highs in the late 70's in California, the girls took woodshop and the boys took home economics. (Because of this, my husband still sews better than I do...). It was a period of vast changes of perspective between the changes, brought about by the 60's, becoming permanent or going away. It was a time of growing pessimism about 'older people' knowing what's best for younger, and the older people learning to be comfortable with that concept in a way they weren't ten years before. It was a time of 'back to nature' meets 'all about the future'. Fashions had everything from Little House on the Prairie inspired granny dresses to the beginning of spandex.

When I was in middle school (then called Junior High) in southern California, in keeping with this spirit of change, there was a blizzard of name changes amongst girls my age. Many girls had grown up with traditional names, such as Katherine and Anne. These girls rebelled by changing their names to more exotic fare, such as Gypsy (inspired by Fleetwood Mac) and Sutton (predating the last-name-first trend to come). The girls whose hippie parents had lovingly bestowed upon them the types of names they wish they'd had themselves, such as Rainbow and Sunshine , rebelled against those very Bohemian tendencies, and annointed themselves more common fare, such as Allison and Tracy.

The counselors of the day advised parents to let these 12 to 14 year olds make these decisions...that they were important to their daughters' self-expression and self-esteem. The parents were certain they would do more harm than good by not allowing their daughters this critical decision in their own identity. Bohemian or Traditional, parents were cautioned that not allowing the change to occur could be detreminental to their daughters' well being. And, so, the Harmony's became Heather's, almost overnight.

Having been given a common name, so common I was always attaching my last initial when I signed my papers, I was somewhere in nowoman's land: my name neither marked me as hopelessly old fashioned, nor did it gain me notoriety in its difference and 'authenticity'. As usual, I felt in the middle. If I had thought of changing my name, it simply never progressed past the pondering stage, but it was fascinating to come to school, and almost every week, find an old friend refuse to answer to anything but her 'new' name. It confused me in the sense that one even could change her name. I wasn't particularly thrilled with mine, in 8th grade, but I certainly didn't invest enough in it to think up a new one. And, as fads like these go, the "Name Game" of the late 70's fizzled out.

It did surprise me, years later, when my own middle school age children expressed frustration at their 'boring' names. Neither one felt as if I had given any thought to what I'd named them. Obviously, this couldn't be further from the truth. But, I came to see that the act of rebelling against one's very name is simply a developmentally appropriate stage that many young teens go through. Since I am not a 1970's pop psychology mother, I told my children that they were absolutely welcome to change their names, legally, to Talon and Mimi...after their respective 18th birthdays. Like the typical mother of the New Millenium that I am, I gave them freedom to make that choice...just not right away. I wonder how many of the girls from my class would have changed their minds, had they simply waited until adulthood.

One's name is an extremely personal form of identity. People still change their names for a variety of reasons: a change in religion, marital status or belief system. Marshal McLuhan wrote, "The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers." Clearly, his perspective was one of antagnosim at the parental naming process. And yet, of course, William Shakespeare wrote, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." The great Bard and I are in agreement that we are who we are, regardless of whether our names are bland, bold, or somewhere in the middle.

As for me, I am content with the Japanese proverb, "Words have meaning and names have power, but only if we allow them to."