The Holiday Hot Bath

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. ~Sylvia Plath,The Bell Jar

During this busy time of year, the most common answer I hear, when I ask "How are you?" is "Stressed!". Most people I know have Christmas lists that resemble the size and length of a Bill, set before Congress, to become a law. People have to shop for their families' gifts, which becomes more difficult each successive year. How many years can you make cookies for people, or give them a bottle of wine, without seeming uncreative? There are Christmas card photos to take...and with every passing year the children become older, wiser, less cooperative and not as easily bribed into standing still. There are addresses to look up, because in our more mobile society, few people still live in the same house that they may have a few years ago. There are parties to attend, which sounds like an enormous amount of fun until you try to schedule around them. There are parties to give, which is even more stressful....between making sure the dog hasn't eaten the sofa, the hors d'oeuvres or the front porch steps before the guests arrive. There are party dresses that fit last year but now seem sized for a completely differently shaped woman. There are recipes that are "Never Fail!' in the cookbook, but manage to do just that. There are sporting events to attend, cheering for your children while wearing Santa hats. There are office events that we want to appear at our best, yet cultivate a savoie-faire attitude (and not make a fool of ourselves, like Roy from Accounting did one year). There are gingerbread houses that collapse and require power tools to fix. We try to play Secret Santa, without our victim figuring out who is leaving boxes of caramels on her desk. There are Caroling parties that always seem to be held on the one evening per year that disproves global warming. There are Christmas Pageants, concerts and plays. There is too much clutter, and not enough "Yankee Swap" gatherings to dispose of it all. There are important Charity events, such as Toys for Tots drives, Adopt a Family and care packages to support our troops overseas. There is too much to do, crammed into too short a period of time, and far too much enforced merriment. It's hard to 'merry' when everyone is telling you to do just that...at my five commitments each afternoon.

Bah Hambug! So, how do we get out of the doldrums and into the delight? We find time every day for a hot holiday bath. We need to close the door, and draw the hot water, putting on whatever music relaxes us the most. In my case, it happens to be Andrea Bocelli, but you may enjoy hymns, Christmas carols, show tunes, or whatever happens to be your 'happy place', musically. You will want to be luxurious with your bath products. Lavender is wonderful for relaxation, but for the more adventurous, Bath & Body Works has developed a line of holiday bubble baths. My two favorites are their Twisted Peppermint and Nutcracker Suite. Each one lathers up heavenly and takes me far away from the bottle drive I need to coordinate for the hockey team. Make sure that your bathroom is stress free....it's tough to relax, when you're looking at a counter filled with half empty bottles and an exploded toothpaste container. Either earlier in the day, or while your bath is drawing, "clean sweep" whatever you need to...simply put it in a box and deal with it later. (You may find that, once it becomes later, you don't miss that half empty container of bug repellent in December). Lock the door if you need to, but just make your holiday hot bath a ritual you do for yourself. Pour yourself a glass of wine, or a cup of hot chocolate, and sink back, promising yourself that you won't think about anything on your Christmas "to do" list for the duration of your sanctuary in the tub.

However, if you find that your mind is having a hard time shutting off, as mine often does, bring a good book into the tub with you. While I wouldn't recommend trying this even with the steadiest of hands for Kindle users, but if you take care, it shouldn't be a problem for a tradition book. I'd recommend reading something inspirational, uplifting, heart warming, or at the very least, light hearted. We have enough drama in our lives this time of year. This isn't the moment to read Tom Clancy's latest, or any Lee Childs thriller. You don't want heart pounding action.You want to be renewed. Action books can be enormous fun, and can pull us into a web of adrenaline that leaves us feeling mysterious and accomplished. But, during times of great busyness, it's often helpful to read words that are more life affirming. This will help us ease tension and find inner peace. You may enjoy reading inspirational books by The Dalai Lama, or by inspirational Jewish and Christian writers, such as Rabbi Harold Kushner or Max Lucado. Richard Paul Evans writes beautiful,"easily read in a night or two" books that uplift, entertain, inspire but aren't insipid novels. Most of all, I'd recommend reading Mitch Albom's new book, "have a little faith". The journey the author takes, from being asked to write his childhood rabbi's eulogy (when the spiritual leader was still very much alive), to connecting with an inner city homeless project run by an extraordinary pastor, this novel will kindle a light within you...one you may find flickering and on the point of blowing out altogether if you don't nourish the flame.

There are so many ways that we celebrate the holiday season. We spend time with family and friends. We do good works in our communities. We try to make the holidays special for our children...to create memories they'll look back upon with great happiness. But, in all of that activity, we often do 'forget the meaning of the season'. I don't like being reminded, again and again, that we need to reach into our faith traditions, and dwell there exclusively, while I have no ethical way to get out of honoring my other, secular commitments. I don't like hearing how badly the stock market is doing because people "just aren't shopping enough", when I'm trying to teach my teenagers to think of one or two special items, as opposed to one of everything at Circuit City. What I do like is finding a way to balance the must do's, the want to do's, the love to do's and 'do's for my health and sanity'. For me, this means taking a hot bath every night. It means finding a way to shut out everyone, including the people I love desperately, just for a chance to recharge my Elf Engine.

I think that creating a Hot Holiday Bath ritual is a healthy, non-addictive way to deal with holiday pressures. It can relieve tense muscles, warm you all over from a frosty night and give you a much needed break. If nothing else, the presents that the kids have unwrapped, and then tried (unsuccessfully) to re-wrap will still be there when you get out. And, you may just have a more effective, gentler method of handling it all, warm and cozy from Peppermint bubbles.

Bathtime Reflections...

"Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a warm bath and a glass of wine." ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas

There are few things in life that are more rejuvenating to me than a hot bath at the end of the day. The process of drawing the bath, choosing the aromatherapy scents for the evening, and just taking a moment to wind down can be incredibly therapeutic. I've learned that on days in which I'm particularly anxious or worried, a bath using Lavender, Jasmine or Rose oils can help me to fully relax, let go of the day's concerns and prepare for sleep. When I am overtired, and need a boost of energy, a bath containing Ginger, Peppermint or Lemon can leave me feeling refreshed, renewed and invigorated. During times that I have a cold or feel the aches of illness coming on, Eucalyptus, Hyssop and Basil have worked wonders. My time in the bath gives me those moments to reconnect body, mind and spirit. A warm bath can give one a sense of being reborn, and to step out of the tub with a renewed sense of purpose.

When my children were small, I remember bathtime having the same type of balancing effect on their personalities. Because I was blessed with two children barely two years apart, our home was a fairly chaotic one in the early years of their lives. They were precious playmates, building secret clubhouse forts with blankets and pillows. They were also adversaries, knocking over Lego creation masterpieces that the other sibling had built. They were the best of friends. They were the most bitter of foes. And yet, at the end of the day, no matter how angry my daughter might have been at having Barbie's pink VW Bug co-opted for a GI Joe battle, when the children got into the tub, began playing with boats and making 'potions' with bubbles and bowls, they were once again, peacefully united. I could always count on the fact that crying, hectic afternoons would morph into joyful, laughing evenings, thanks to bath time. The healing power of the warm bath became my safe haven, not only for my own use, but as a tired mother, who needed her children to find themselves refreshed.

Baths are far from a modern convenience. The healing power of warm water is universally accepted and lauded. Nearly every culture appreciated and cultivated the idea of bath time as being more than just a way to wash off the dirt. The Romans were masters of the bath. When we were in Italy, some of the most stunning examples of architecture we saw were those of the extraordinary Roman bath houses. These weren't place to pop in and out of for a quick cleaning. Rather, they were a social environment, as much as a healing one. The Romans created vast aqua duct and pipe systems to bring in fresh water, and heat it...decades before the modern, at home bathroom was ever conceived. Bath houses were places of commerce, places of connection, and places of time spent renewing oneself. There were bath houses for men, for women, for different social classes, and for different groups of people. But, all were treated to this vital, and positive, aspect of Roman life.

Is it any wonder that we, as human beings, find emerging from warm water to be an almost metaphysical experience? We emerge from the warm waters of our birth, and both history, mythology and religious traditions literally ooze warm water. The Greek goddess, Aphrodite, is said to have been born of the sea. In Judaism, a female convert must submerge in a Mikveh (a blessed, clean pool of water). For Orthodox Jews, women return to the Mikveh monthly as a symbol of cleanliness and renewal. Christians are 'born' by the water of baptism, as Jesus was baptized by John in the River Jordan. Muslims believe in the ritual cleansing with water, and that water is available at mosques before one may enter. Many Native American cultures used sweat lodges are a form of bath house, designed to purify the body from the inside out. The sweat lodge was a way to call forth visions, to remove all impure waters from the body, and was 'closed' by a dunk in a nearby river or lake.

For the majority of us, our evening ablutions have less to do with religion, and far more to do with unwinding. Our baths can help us feel refreshed after a day filled with activity. But, there is no reason to make our baths yet one more item to add to our "to do" list. By setting your intention for your bath to be a time of restoration, you can create your own personal sanctuary. In the fascinating film "What the bleep do we know?!", the writers suggest that our very words can change our realities, and our perspective. In one fascinating scene, a woman writes the words "Thank you" in the bottom of her bathtub. As she soaks, the woman is filled with a perspective of gratitude and well being. Whether or not our written or spoken words can physically change our state of mind, this exercise is an interesting object lesson. Our baths can, mentally and physically, improve our outlook, our health and, at the very least, our evening. Even if the manifestation of "thank you" is figurative, rather than literal, isn't it much nicer to focus our thoughts on gratitude for our lives, rather than the idiot who cut us off in rush hour traffic?

So, create your own reality by creating a special bath...fill it with warm water, a scent you can inhale with joy, and peaceful music. Author your own time of grace as you soak, and allow the craziness of your day to melt away. Even if you do not find yourself changed into a completely new being, perhaps just reconnecting with your calm inner being, can be change enough.